Monday, May 14, 2012

6dp5dt - I Got Nuthin'

I was so slammed at work today that I didn't get the chance to post.  Although, as far as the cycle goes, I don't have much to report.  That makes me a little (a LOT) sad.  I know it's early yet, so I'm not giving up the hope.  I'm just settling into that place where I'm trying to convince myself that it didn't work.  You all know the place I'm talking about.  The closer it gets to test day, the more fear and dread and negative thoughts start to set in.  I'm trying to keep them at bay, really I am.  It's just really hard.  I haven't had one food aversion, not one second of nausea, not much of anything.  I've had some cramps and that's a good sign, I guess.  I haven't had a period in 79 days so I'm sure with all the estrogen and progesterone I'm pumping into my body my lining is about to burst at the seams.  That would account for the cramping I'm experiencing.  The cramps feel pretty much like period cramps.  My boobs are still sore but they haven't gotten any worse.  If anything, they have mellowed out a little.  I don't take that as a good sign.  I'm tired but it seems like no more than usual.  Ok, maybe a tad more than usual but again...the progesterone.  *sigh*
We have a really big meeting coming up on Thursday that I will spend most of tomorrow and Wednesday prepping for.  I was going to test Wednesday morning but have since thought better of it.  If it's negative I won't be able to focus on the tasks at hand.  I can't test Thursday morning, the morning of the meeting for the same reason.  Friday is my birthday and I'm so scared of seeing a stark white window that I might actually be able to wait until Saturday morning.  There will be no question of accuracy at that point.  I'm sort of going crazy wanting to know, though.  I have to have my head in the game for this meeting prep, though.  I was given more of the prepping responsibilities so I'm going to be scrutinized all the more.  Although I feel a bit distracted NOT knowing.  I'm a mess.

My weekend was great.  The Little Guy had his baseball game on Saturday.  They were losing and decided to put him in to pitch.  It was his first time this year and it's been almost a year since he last pitched.  He struck out one kid with beautiful pitches.  He tagged a runner out at home!  And then he struck out one of the other teams best hitters!  He got all 3 outs of the last inning himself!  Proud is not even the word.  And all of this while dealing with a cold.  Poor kid.

Sunday was spent outside lounging in a lawn chair while BJ washed and cleaned the inside of my truck.  He's so good to me.  And now my truck is clean and smells good and I have the beginnings of a nice tan.  We went to lunch at 5 Guys and I was able to have a caffeine free fountain cola.  Oh how I have missed my fountain colas.  I LOVE fountain colas but no one has caffeine free...except the 5 Guys by our house.  Yummy!

I'll keep you all in the loop if I break down and decide to test early.  Thank you so much for your support and your well wishes.  It really means a lot to me that you are out there.  I know I say it a lot, but it's really true.

10 comments:

Samantha said...

Hang in there, the waiting is the worst part. If its any consolation to you, I didn't have any symptoms until I was 6 weeks. It's hard not to read too much into symptoms or lack of them but every person and every pregnancy really is different. I have high hopes for you and your little one.

Esperanza said...

Thinking of you. Waiting is the worst! But I wouldn't be too worried about you lack of symptoms. I didn't have one symptom (except for sore boobs - but I've had those during many a BFN cycle) during either 2WW that ended in pregnancy so a lack of symptoms doesn't mean you're not pregnant.

Keeping all appendages crossed for you!

Augusta said...

I've heard tell that early pregnancy symptoms vary SO MUCH, that even one woman will find the symptoms to be different from one pregnancy to the next. And sometimes, there are no symptoms. My hopes are still sky high for you.
Wishing you well on the presentation. I'm glad you have something distracting for the days ahead.

Leslie said...

Thinking positive thoughts for you!! My fingers & toes are crossed for great news very very soon!! Thinking of you!

Pie said...

I totally know where you are at right now - I completely freaked out 3 days before my beta, convinced it didn't work. Having no symptoms, I was convinced it had failed. So no matter how sure you are, you just never know.

Hang in there for these last few days of waiting, and I'll be here to support you whenever you decide to test.

newbie said...

Hang in there, I hate this time of the cycle! It's no wonder you are a mess. I only had a few cramps at the beginning and nothing else, and I got pregnant, so you never know. Will have my fingers, toes, and everything else crossed for you!

Alex said...

It's WAY too early for any real symptoms, so don't let that part concern you. This time in the cycle is pure torture!!! If you can hold off on testing until Saturday, I really do think that would be ideal. Thinking of you as you prepare for your presentation, and just try to get through the week!!!

someday-soon said...

I agree with others, too early for symptoms. Mine came on around 5-6 weeks. You are a pillar of strength not to POAS =) Happy you had a wonderful weekend!!! LG did so great, that's awesome =)

Anonymous said...

The days of my kids being little are long over but please know, you have so many anonymous people, along with your followers, pulling for you and praying for you. You deserve this so much and I am sending good thoughts your way! I don't follow your blog but I do pop in and I am hoping so strongly that I get to read a post on your positive results very soon!!!

Rebecca said...

Hoping for only the best for you.