Friday, May 4, 2012

Fertilization Report and Other Musings

• All 9 eggs were fertilized with ICSI. I received an e-mail this morning that ALL 9 are growing! That’s great news. The best news, actually. I responded with an e-mail of my own asking that a phone call be used to update me tomorrow because their e-mails keep going to my spam folder (even though I listed them as “safe”) and I don’t have access to spam on my phone. We will be out and about tomorrow so I don’t want to miss anything. I also asked if the transfer date would be decided tomorrow. She said that if we are having a 3 day transfer that they will give me a time tomorrow, but she suspects we’ll have a 5 day transfer. Another bit of great news. Here’s to hoping that we have at least 4 survive to day 5. I know the stats so I think 5 good blasts could be a reality. Although, these are not the donors only eggs so I guess time will tell.

• My husband sent me a text earlier that went something like this: I got a bbq sandwich for lunch and dropped some on my white shirt. Just to give you an idea, this man spills food on himself all the time. I can’t tell you how many shirts have had to be treated with a stain remover before going into the washing machine. So I responded with: Of course. We need to get you some bibs. You and the baby can get matching ones. And he came back with: Yeah, we can compete to see who is messier, me or the baby. It was strange but really good to talk about “the baby”. Even in this context. A baby...really? Us? Fingers crossed.

• I went and got a pedicure today. Two things of note happened while I was there. The lady, whom I’ve been going to for a few years, now said to me, “did I ever tell you that you have really pretty feet? You could be a foot model.” I’ve gotten compliments on my feet before from pedicurists so I have an enlarged ego about my feet as it is. :-) She went on to tell me that she looks at the feet of models in magazines and catalogs and thinks I have nicer feet than a lot of them. I smiled and thanked her. And then I did something totally horrible. I wondered to myself what our donor’s feet look like. I have my dad’s big toe but the rest of my foot (besides the size) is from my mom... exactly like her feet. We’ve always thought it was pretty cool to have the same feet. If I have a girl, there’s no chance those feet get passed on. It was a fleeting thought but it’s one of those things that take you by surprise. I felt like an ass for even thinking such a thing. And no, it doesn’t matter what my daughter’s feet might look’s just something I thought and lamented a little bit. This whole donor egg thing is an ongoing process. I’m sure that is not the last time I will have a thought like that. I’m also pretty sure that once that baby is in my arms none of this petty stuff will matter. It doesn’t really matter right now but the thoughts come and go. If anyone reading this feels like an ass for lamenting a genetic loss to your child, you are not alone. I think it’s pretty normal to wonder about these things. It’s almost healthy, dare I say? I mean, how many of us wonder what traits of ours and what traits of our husbands our child(ren) will get? I wonder if the donor would take a picture of her feet and send it to my nurse. Just kidding.

• I’m getting pretty cocky in believing we will get a baby out of this, aren’t I? I don’t mean to. I know that DE is not a magic ticket to motherhood. I’ve read enough message boards to know that, unfortunately. However, I’m trying to stay positive and keep my mind and body at ease through this process. The way I see it is that we paid for 6 cycles and all resulting frozen cycles so of course it will happen on the first try, right? Plus, I have 9 embryos growing right now. How can one not be positive and a little cocky at that prospect? Especially someone that could never manage more than 3 embryos.

• I plan on drinking alcohol this weekend. I told BJ that the other night and he comes back with, “I’m gonna get fuuuuuucked up!” I clarified that I was the one doing the drinking this weekend and HE would be the driver. And he said, “hell no...we’ll both get smashed.” And I said, “Who will drive us home?” And then he turns around, sticks his thumb out and sways from side to side...”someone will pick us up.” He cracks me up. I think I’ll keep him.

• My PIO shot last night was interesting. I didn’t hit a blood vessel which was nice but I leaked oil. It seemed like a lot of oil but I can only assume this is normal and that not that much really ran out. At least I hope that’s the case. Any PIO vets out there that can assure me that I’m ok if some leaks out....please?  Also, I now have 2 sore butt cheeks.  I hope that they continue to be sore for the next 7 to 9 weeks.  Or however long someone normally stays on PIO to support a pregnancy.

• No big plans for the weekend unless we have to unexpectedly have embryos transferred on Sunday. I hope that’s not the case. The weather is supposed to be wonderful and we have the LG’s baseball game tomorrow and some yard work that needs done. I also have a very important hockey game to watch.  Oh and of course the drinking I plan on doing. I told BJ we should get some 2x4’s for the basement so we can get started on it this fall or winter. I will need to get my scrapping stuff out of the spare bedroom so we can turn it into a nursery. See? I’m really getting ahead of myself. I hope I’m not jinxing anything...I just hope and pray that one of those 9 little embies becomes my take home baby.

I hope you all have a great weekend and I will be updating on Monday with transfer plans! Unless I’m thrown a major curveball and have to go in on Sunday. ACK! Let’s hope not. Let’s hope that the next time you hear from me I’m telling you what time my beautiful blast will be transferred into my uterus for the next 9 months!


Alex said...

9 embryos!!!! Oh I'm just beyond thrilled - this is amazing! Wow, must be nice to be using young eggs... :) I'm so excited to hear how those little guys grow. Grow, embies, grow!

I think it's completely normal to have thoughts like those feet thoughts. And definitely not horrible. I haven't gone through it myself, but I think these kind of thoughts and questions are just part of the whole process. Don't feel bad, just acknowledge them, think about them, and then move on.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Enjoy your drinking time - it's the last time you can drink for a long, long time!!!!! :)

Sarah said...

Great news! :) Totally normal to think all those thoughts you are thinking. Im jealous of your pretty feet...I hate my feet!!!! I hope my daughter doesnt turn out to have my feet. Well she already sort of does! I have big feet for a short girl and our little girl's feet are prettttty big :) Still not fitting into any newborn shoes though :) Good luck with the transfer!!

Mo and Will said...

Whoo hoo on that great fertilization report!! Will be following along, full of hope for you!!



Augusta said...

Can a fertilization report ever get better than 100%? Fantastic news, my friend. I was thrilled to read it, and very pleased to see your positive outlook. You have the choice of living through this hopefully or with a grim outlook: I like the choice you are making. You have every reason to believe this is your road to motherhood. I'm super excited for you.

Rebecca said...

Leaking some oil is normal from the PIO injection. I'm really happy to hear how many embryos you have!

Pie said...

I LOVE cocky TeeJay! You do have plenty to be cocky about!

And yes, some leaking PIO after the shot is normal. Leaking oil and/or blood - totally normal. I always have a gauze pad ready to rub the area to stop any leaking/bleeding.

Mel. said...

Awesome news! Hope you enjoy you drinking weekend because hopefully it will be the last one you have for a good long time!! :)

Esperanza said...

Congrats on 9 embryos! That is amazing. Keeping all appendages crossed!

Kate said...

I totally get those random thoughts. We decided to go with a local donor here in India instead of flying a caucasian one in. Thursday I was sitting in the clinic waiting room when two caucasian donors came in and sat next to me. I was playing cribbage on my phone and i was so distracted by one of the girls. She had freckles just like me and for a second I was worried that we had made the wrong decision. But it was fleeting. Every step of this process has felt so right and we've both been so positive about it. We, too, talk about our future baby because we are so optimistic it's going to work. It's the only way to be, in my opinion. Wishing you so much luck!

Patience said...

Thinking nothing but positive thoughts for you! Hoping that your miracle is just around the corner.

someday-soon said...

WOW, all NINE?!?! Can't wait to hear how they did over the weekend =)