Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Big Baby Store, Maternity Shopping and...Belly Touching?

My husband was very anxious to start looking at baby furniture and gear after our 6 week appointment went well.  Once I graduated to a regular OB it was really hard to hold him back but he even said that he didn’t want to jinx anything.  Well, a few days before our first OB appointment we took the plunge and drove up to Babies R Us.  I had some anxiety, I won’t lie.  It has been about 8 or so years since I stepped foot in that store.   On this day however, it was different.  When we walked in I sort of slowed down and just took a deep breath and scanned the entire store.  It was a bit overwhelming.  I sort of felt like I didn’t belong there, especially when I saw other women with babies and big bellies and such.  We walked over to the stroller section and it felt like I was watching someone else search around.  BJ pulled a couple of strollers down for us to try out and as I was pushing one down the aisle, BJ said, “I know you can’t wait until there’s an actual baby in there.”  We tried several strollers and car seat systems and found 2 that we really liked.  Then we tried to collapse them and open them and figure out all the little handles and knobs.  What amateurs we were.  It would have been obvious to anyone walking by that we are newbies.  It’s been 11 years since BJ worried about strollers and they have changed so much since then.  I haven’t operated a stroller for about 10 years so it was basically all new to me, too.  Then we looked at pack and plays and swings and high chairs and found some that we liked so BJ took some pictures of the tags so we could remember them and do some research.  The furniture section was next.  Man…cribs are so much nicer now!  They are real furniture that you can use for years to come.  The prices reflect that, too.  We walked around and around and around.  We narrowed our search to 2 different sets.  I’m really hoping my parents send us some money or offer to buy at least the crib because we are looking at close to $800 for a crib and dresser.  Ouch.  We browsed some of the other sections and then we headed out.  It felt really good to look at all the stuff but it was still very hard to imagine that we are going to actually need some of that stuff.  I told BJ that I hope we weren’t too cocky and confident doing all of that before our first OB appointment.  As it turns out, we weren’t.  You can’t actually jinx your pregnancy by looking at baby stuff.  Who knew?

I went maternity shopping this past weekend.  Much to my delight, BJ and the Little Guy came with me.  I had mentioned to BJ how I was a bit sad that I was going alone and didn’t have my mom or my step-mom or a grandmother to go with me so I think he felt bad for me.  The first department store’s selection sucked.  I really had to root through their stuff to find 2 pairs of pants and a pair of capri jeans that would fit me.  When I put the first pair on…oh my goodness…I was overcome with pure comfort.  I think everyone should be wearing maternity pants.  I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed that my belly was just hanging out in all its glory and it felt so good to let it do that.  I hadn’t realized how tight my other pants had gotten.  I don’t have a very big bump yet and most people would probably assume I am just a bit chunky in the mid-section.  Let them assume what they want.  My belly is out and happy!  The next department store had an even worse selection so I told BJ that I had to hit the maternity store.  It was like walking into pregnant lady heaven.  The thing that got me so excited?  They had petites!  I’m only 5’2’’ so I need pants with shorter legs so that I don’t have to take everything to get hemmed (I don’t sew) and so that the pants actually fit the way they should.  The Little Guy found it amusing at how happy I was in this store.  I ended up with 2 pairs of pants, a pair of jeans and 2 shirts (one picked out by BJ that I would NEVER have picked for myself but he liked it so I figured what the hell?)  I want to wear these pants all.the.time.  Seriously, they are so damn comfortable.  Although, I’m folding the panel over right now because I don’t really need it to come all the way up to the bottom of the girls, you know?  I’ll get more shirts later as the ones I have now will hopefully last me another month or so until the Fall lines come out.  I don’t want to buy Summer and Fall shirts if I don’t have to.  I’m hoping the Fall selection will include things I can wear during the Winter, too.

After that wonderful shopping spree we had to attend our niece’s 5th birthday party.  I wrote a little about the party in my last post.  I did not mention this part because it needed its own bit of a post.  My SIL’s mother in law is a wonderfully sweet woman.  We’ve had them over to our house a couple of times and even had them over for Thanksgiving.  We really like them.  I’m going to call the MIL Bonnie.  This is the first time I have seen her since she found out about our little one.  My SIL asked if I could add Bonnie to the e-mail updates that I send out so I did.  She loved the pictures, of course.  As soon as she saw me at the party she came over and gave me a big hug.  It was very sweet.  And then she did what I was not prepared for…she reached down and patted my stomach.  My pudgy-but-starting-to-show stomach.  As she was doing so, she said, “Oh, I know I’m not supposed to do this but I just can’t help it, I’m just so happy for you.”  Yikes.  I just smiled because what else could I do?  She didn’t actually touch where the baby is, she touched up under my breasts but still…talk about awkward.  I know it’s to be expected later in pregnancy, but this early?  Sheesh.  And then later, as I was holding the baby of another IF lady (they tried for 8 years and then had some sort of medical help to get pg) she came by and said, “wow, married 5 years and finally going to have a baby…it’s so wonderful.”  And then then I said, “well, if you count the time I tried with my first husband, we’re looking at about 10 years!”  And the other IF lady said, “we tried for 8 years for this one.”  And then Bonnie said, “well, sometimes when you try too hard…blah, blah, blah.”  I just smiled and nodded.  What I wanted to say was “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS TRYING TOO HARD.  IF YOUR BODY IS MESSED UP IT’S MESSE UP.  SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GET MEDICAL HELP BECAUSE “RELAXING” JUST DOESN’T GET THE JOB DONE.”  But I didn’t say any of those things because she has no idea what we’ve been through and it was not worth trying to explain that relaxing does not work for everyone.  And she meant well so I just let it go with a smile and a nod.

So there you have it…my trip to the baby store, my first experience with maternity shopping and my frightful belly touching incident.  I survived them all and came out the other side just fine!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Welcome to ICLW

Hello and welcome!  If you found my blog through the main list then you know that I am currently just over 13 weeks pregnant via egg donor.  You can read a brief history of my journey on the sidebar to your right.  I’ve waited a really long time to get to where I am right now and I could not be happier to be pregnant.  It’s definitely been a long and rough road but I feel like I’m in a good place right now.  Well, except for those moments when I get scared that something has gone horribly wrong.  Thankfully, those moments are not that common.

I am a step-mother to a great kid that I refer to as the Little Guy.  He’s 11 and going in to the 6th grade this Fall!  Wow!  He’s growing up so fast.  Step-parenting is not easy.  I love it, but it definitely has its challenges.  I write about that from time to time and would actually like to start writing more about it because it is a huge part of my life.

My husband, whom I refer to as BJ, is almost 40 so this will be our only child together.  We tried for almost 6 years to get pregnant and now that we are I’m seeing a new side of him and I really like it.  I can’t wait for him to hold this baby in his arms.  I just know that I will melt.  I melt just thinking about it.

I had my first trimester screening last week and all seems to be well with the baby.  My blood work came back Friday afternoon and my odds of a Down Syndrome child are about 1 in 490.  I was worried about that because the NT measurement was 2.5mm.  I did some research (I can’t stay off the Internet with this kind of stuff) and as it turns out, the time to start worrying would be if the blood work came back with 1 in 250 or less.  We are almost double that so I’m feeling pretty good about our results.  Plus, our donor was 22 and that helps to ease my mind a bit, too.

We attended my husband’s niece’s 5th birthday party on Saturday.  My SIL pretty much told everyone in attendance that we are expecting and so the congratulations and the hugs were flying around pretty much as soon as we walked in the door.  It was nice, but very strange to be the recipient of such things after all this time.  I almost felt like asking people to whisper or to not to get too excited because it’s still so early…the Infertile in me tries to take away the good moments sometimes.  I didn’t do any of those things.  I talked about my morning sickness that doesn’t happen in the mornings and how tired I am and how I can’t wait for the baby to move and how I can’t eat white meat chicken or green vegetables…it was surreal to say the least.  I mean, here I am talking about MY pregnancy with other women.  I never thought I’d get this opportunity so I’m relishing each and every moment.

I’m just so amazed that such a medical miracle can take place and even more amazed that God has allowed for me to experience this.  I really hope and pray that things keep going so well because I love this baby more than I ever thought possible.

Please be sure to leave a comment so that I can stop by your blog as well!

Happy blogging and happy ICLW!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Pregnancy Heavy Post - 13 Weeks

This post is going to be very heavy on pregnancy talk (like most of my posts lately), click away if that is not what you want to read today.

Bullet point lists are awesome and cover a lot of ground so that is what I’m going with today.

·         I decided to get the blood work done to go along with the 1st trimester scan.  I understand that it might come up as a false positive but it was just not sitting well with me that we skipped it.  I had to jump through some hoops and make several phone calls and stop at a lab on my way home from work the other day but the blood has been drawn and sent away for testing.  Thank you all for your comments regarding this screening.  If the results are positive for anything I will cross that bridge when I come to it.  After reading your comments and taking into consideration that the doctor didn’t find anything else that would indicate a problem, I’m really trying to stay positive that the results will be a great big negative.

·         I’ve told some more people in my office about the pregnancy.  Well, actually I showed them the sonogram pictures.  It was great to spread the news some more.  I told the people that I work most closely with (other support staff) and the one lady that suffered 4 miscarriages before having to have a hysterectomy.  I told her via e-mail, after working hours.  I didn’t want to tell her in person because I know how much it would sting and I didn’t want to catch her off guard.  I wanted to give her a chance to cry if she needed or blurt out some expletives in private.  She was happy for me and gave me a big hug when she saw me the next day.  I did not share the pictures with her.  I am going to try and be very sensitive to how much it’s going to hurt her to watch my growing belly.

·         Speaking of the belly…I think it’s starting to pop.  It’s still mushy but I’m taking that to mean that the inside is pushing the pudge further out.  I have definitely noticed that my pants are extremely tight.  I have a hard time buying pants on a normal day so I can only imagine how hard it’s going to be to buy maternity pants.  All the small local stores don’t carry anything so I have to go to the mall Saturday morning to try and find a few things.  I tried looking online but I just can’t buy pants without trying them on.  I have enough shirts right now so they are not a priority.  I just wish my mom or step mom were closer to me so that I didn’t have to go by myself.  My SIL can’t go because she’s throwing our niece’s b-day party Saturday afternoon and I just can’t wait any longer for pants.  I’m excited but it also makes me a little nervous.  I think that is the Infertile’s fear coming out.

·         I rented a home Doppler for 2 months.  The day it came we used it twice.  The first time was to make sure we could find the heartbeat and we did and it was amazing.  BJ does the honors of actually searching around for it.  It took a bit to get used to how slowly you have to move it around.  He found mine twice before finding the baby.  The second time that day was to let the Little Guy listen.  He thought it was “cool”.  We have used it twice since then and the heartbeat is getting easier to find.  The funny thing is that BJ thinks I worry too much but the 2 times we’ve used it since the first day have been his idea.  I was going to suggest it yesterday but before I could, he asked if we were going to listen to the baby.  I like that he wants to do that and that he understands the peace of mind it gives me.  I think seeing the baby on the screen has made him realize how much he loves this little baby and he wants to check up on it as much as I do.

·         I have created an e-mail list of people that have expressed interest in getting baby updates.  People like my parents, my ex-MIL and her SIL (so my ex-aunt-in-law), my SIL, my co-worker/friend and a couple of other people.  I have sent 2 updates so far and the responses have been very positive.  Everyone loved the pictures that I sent around.  My dad forwarded my message to some of our family in MO to share the news and one of my cousins e-mailed him back with how happy she is for us.  Isn’t it amazing how happy babies make people?

·         I’m nearing the end of my first trimester.  WOW….just wow.  Everything I’ve read has said that the sick feelings and the fatigue and the food aversions will slowly start to disappear.  I hope so, but it actually seems that it all has intensified this last week.  There’s more and more I can’t eat and I’m feeling sick for longer each day.  I haven’t thrown up, which is good, but I still feel icky.  I’m happy about it, don’t get me wrong.  I just can’t wait to eat some broccoli again and some chicken breast for dinner.  Green vegetables and white meat chicken have been the worst for me so far.  I actually read that those are the 2 most popular food aversions.  We eat chicken a lot for dinner.  I’ve been able to force half a breast down because I know I need the protein but even that is hard to do.

·         I looked into a prenatal yoga class at the hospital where I will be delivering (OMG, did I just say I’d be delivering?  As in a BABY?  Wow, again) but they don’t have a class right now.  They have to have 4 people signed up and I am the 3rd.  I’m on the waiting list but not holding out much hope.  I have checked into a couple of places close to work but they are too far from my office for a lunch hour class.  Does anyone have a recommendation for a DVD to do at home?  I used to do Pilates on a regular basis but haven’t done anything like that in a long time so I’d need a beginner workout.  I really wanted to do a class with other pregnant women but it doesn’t look like that is in the cards as there is no other place near my home that offers classes.

·         I’m feeling a bit hormonal which I’m sure is not a shock to anyone that has been pregnant before.  My eyes water very easily these days.  Sometimes, just thinking about the precious life that is growing inside of me brings me to tears.  Typing that sentence made my eyes water.  BJ thinks it’s funny when I get teary at the simplest things on TV.  I’m not used to those moments yet but thankfully they pass quickly.

·         I saved the pictures from the NT scan onto my desktop so that I can open them whenever I want to gaze at that precious little baby.  I even talk to it sometimes.  I know that might seem a little whacky but rubbing my stomach and talking doesn’t seem to cut it for me all the time.  I like looking at the profile picture and telling the baby how much I love it and how I am so excited to give Eskimo kisses to its little nose and how I long to caress that little head while nursing.  My heart gets all fluttery just recapping that conversation.

Ok, so that is where I’m at right now.  This has gotten a bit long so I won’t go into our visit to the big baby store this time.  I’ll save that for another day.  Maybe I’ll group it with my maternity shopping experience that I plan to have this weekend.  Thank you all again for being there for me and offering such good advice and helping me along this journey.  This is all new to me (even though I’ve read countless pregnancy blogs) so experiencing all these things can sometimes be a little overwhelming.  I’m glad I have this space to come to and get advice and support.

Monday, July 16, 2012

12 Week Scan and in Complete Awe

Sorry I haven’t been very good at updating lately. Everything is still going good and I’m still very pregnant. So much so, that my pants are getting pretty darn tight. My belly has popped out a little but it just looks like I need to do some sit-ups. When BJ hugs me he says that he can feel the hardness in my belly. I think that is so cool. I actually experienced that sensation a little today, myself. I was leaning up against the counter and noticed that my belly wasn’t as mushy, it was definitely harder under the pudge.

We had our 12 week scan today that included an NT measurement. BJ came with me and I’m so glad he was able to stay for the whole thing. They were running late (shocker) and he was getting antsy about having to leave. We were called back and I hopped up on the table. The technician checked my uterus and my ovaries first…boring! Then up on the screen came the baby. It was laying there so still I was about to have a panic attack. Then I saw it’s little heart just beating away in its chest (167bpm) and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was short lived because the little bugger didn’t want to move. Then all of a sudden it twitched! BJ and I were amazed to say the least. The tech took some measurements of the NT area and I was trying to watch her lines and the baby at the same time. She marked a couple of different measurements so I was curious to see what the doctor would get when he came in afterward. She measured the CRL and I think it showed me at 12w1or2d. I’m actually 12w4d but I tried not to worry about that. I know it can vary from tech to tech and day to day but still…it concerns me a little. Especially since I forgot to ask her about it when we were finished. She was trying to get both arms and legs but the baby was not cooperating. She shook my belly and I laughed and shook my belly trying to get the baby to wake up and move because she could not see its other arm. Finally, it started twitching around and kicking its little legs (although they look really long) and turning its head from side to side. So cute! I really wish I could feel all of that movement. She finally got the arm measurement she wanted and then up popped a picture of a little tiny hand with 5 perfect little fingers! I almost cried when I saw that image. My baby has little fingers that I can’t wait to kiss and touch and hold. I’m getting teary right now just typing it out.

The tech left and in came the doctor. He tried to get his own NT measurement and wouldn’t you know that little baby would not sit still? We all got a good laugh about the tech waking it up too much. I said, “You know it’s a (insert our last name here) because it’s doing just the opposite of what you want it to do.” I was referring to the baby’s daddy of course. Between the tech and the doctor pushing on my stomach trying to get what they needed my belly was starting to hurt. The doctor’s arm got tired so he rested his forearm on my leg. Then he said, in a very serious tone, “just one more measurement, kid”. I laughed but didn’t particularly care for the seriousness or the tone he addressed my baby with. I guess that’s the mama bear coming out in me. He didn’t mean anything by it and he was quite pleasant but I’m hormonal and THEY are the ones that woke a sleeping baby. Haven’t they seen F.R.I.E.N.D.S when Rachel woke Emma? Ha ha…yes I’m a F.R.I.E.N.D.S geek.

He finally got the measurement and then asked me if I wanted to get the accompanying blood work done. He said the scan results were normal. From what I’ve read, when he told me the measurement I sort of freaked out…2.5mm. He said the test was 70% accurate. I asked BJ if he was ok with 70% and he said he was so I opted out. Then I came to work and googled. Mistake. We are in the 95th percentile with that measurement. Very scary indeed. I’m not sure if I should request the blood test or not. I want to believe that the 22 year old egg is fine and that the doctor was right and that everything will be ok. However, I can’t seem to shake the fear. Although, even if this child were positive for DS, I don’t think I could bring myself to abort. Not after all I’ve been through and seeing that precious little human on that screen. The baby was wiggling and twisting and trying to stand on its head in there, just so we could see how alive it is. I’m in complete awe of the life growing inside of me and I’m going to do my best to stay positive and have faith that everything will be ok. Because it will…as long as I can hold a live baby in my arms in January and kiss those little fingers and that little nose and see it looking up at me. Oh I just get so happy when I think about all of that…I’m not going to let that measurement ruin anything for me.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Like Wildfire...

After our great appointment on Tuesday, I went against my better judgment and decided that it was ok for us to start telling people.  BJ said he was going to put it on FB after he privately told a few people.  That meant that I had to tell my neighbor/friend that I think is infertile before he splashed it all over the internet.  She was getting ready to leave for Aruba and I didn’t want her to see it there first because I do consider her to be a friend.  I started sending her texts about her trip…when was she leaving?  Was she packed?  She was in the process of getting her toes done so she was out in public.  I felt terrible about breaking the news like that.  It had to be done because my husband is the most impatient person I’ve ever met.  I broke the news as gently as I could.  I’ve always thought she was either infertile or that her husband refused to have kids.  She plays it off that she has never had a desire to have them but is completely in love with her nephew.  She takes oodles of pictures of him and brags about him and goes to see him and has made multiple scrapbooks of him.  I’ve never come out and asked her about it because I hate it when people do that to me so I have just always let it be.  She responded to the text with pure enthusiasm.  She said she had tears of happiness for us and that I am her 3rd friend that is now pregnant.  She asked some questions about how I’m feeling and when I’m due and all that good stuff.  She then asked if it was a surprise.  I told her that it was not a surprise because we had to do IVF but that we are probably keeping that to ourselves (BJ’s request).  I then steered the conversation back to her trip and told her how excited I was for her and that we have lots of catching up to do when she gets back.  I didn’t want to take away from her fun, you know?

After that, BJ and I started sending private FB messages and text messages to people that we felt deserved to find out before he plastered it all over FB.  We went to dinner and our phones kept going off with alerts of congratulations and all the appropriate responses.  Of course, some of his friends were picking on him because of his age but he took it in stride.  At dinner, I decided to get a crab cake sandwich.  I love crab cakes and the picture looked so good.  When it was delivered to our table it had the strongest seafood odor I think I’ve ever smelled.  I had to sit there a minute and try to get used to it.  Then I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and take a deep breath.  When I got back to the table I took one tiny piece of the crab off the sandwich and ate it.  Big mistake.  I couldn’t eat anymore.  I thought I was going to get sick.  It’s a good thing I was able to eat the majority of the BBQ wings I ordered before the crab cake came out.  What a waste of money and food.  Oh well…it’s for a good cause, right?

After we got home from dinner our neighbors came over and we all sat outside on the porch talking about everything baby.  It was so strange to be so open about being pregnant and talking about daycare and my maternity leave and if we’ve thought of names yet.  It was like a foreign language to me.  It was one thing to talk about all that within the privacy of my own home but to be so candid about it out in the open was, well, strange.  It felt really good, really, really good.  At almost 9:00 that night BJ posted on FB that he was having a baby and that his wife is 11 weeks pregnant (2 more days until 11 weeks but close enough, I guess).  And the comments and the “likes” came rolling in.  I told him not to tag me because I don’t want my work knowing yet.  Talk about a bombshell.  I’m not sure I was ready for that but what’s done is done.  I will not be making a FB announcement.

Wednesday morning came and it was time to call my parents.  I had already sent my mother a text and she responded so all that was left was my dad and step-mom.  I had butterflies in my belly making the call.  They are the only ones that know that we did DE and so I was a little worried about how they might react.  We did some small talk about the weather and then I asked if my step-mom was with him and asked him to put me on speaker phone.  I told them that BJ and I are having a baby in January.  They were very happy and pleased and excited and all the things they should have been.  My step-mom got a little emotional which in turn caused me to get a little emotional.  I heard something in the background and asked them where they were.  They were at the local home improvement store!  How funny is that?  I’m on speaker phone talking about my pregnancy and anyone walking by can hear me.  I thought it was pretty funny.  My step-mom said she would be writing me a letter because she was too emotional to talk at that time.

I felt the weight lift off of me after that phone call.  And then I felt some dread.  What if we have to tell all these people bad news?  Everyone is so happy right now and it’s all sunshine and roses and pixie dust.  I can’t imagine spreading sad news at this point.  I don’t want to let myself imagine it.  I’m not living in a dream world, either; I just don’t want to think about the negative.  So for now, it’s all positive thoughts.  And to help keep my sanity between appointments I have ordered a rental Doppler.  It should be here Thursday.  I haven’t told BJ yet.  Although when I showed it to him online he said he was surprised that I hadn’t ordered it yet…I wouldn’t want to disappoint him.

So the cat is out of the bag and I’m still feeling very pregnant so that is a good sign.  Another good sign?  I survived a visit to the big baby store without one panic attack.  I’ll write more about that another time.  Just know that going to the store does not spell the end for baby.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Baby's Fine!

The appointment went very well.  I forgot to ask some of the questions that I had intended upon asking because I didn't write them down.  Oh appointment.
I gave 5 vials of blood.  Some of which I didn't need to give because we did DE but I went along with it anyway because I am sharing blood with the baby.

They didn't check my weight or my blood pressure.  They gave me a slew of magazines and some hospital information.  We chatted for a few and then we got to hear the heartbeat.  She said that if the baby didn't cooperate that she'd get the u/s machine but she wanted to try and find the baby first.  It took her a minute and of course I was all panicky on the inside.  Then she said, "there's the baby...he doesn't want to hold still."  Then we heard it....all 175bpm of it.  Hearing that sound brought tears to my eyes.  It was amazing...and so surreal.  I still have a hard time believing that it's happening to me, to us.

I gave the doctor some of our donor paperwork that was relevant to any tests I'd need to have.  I forgot to ask about the NT scan so I did that on my way out.  The doctor called not long after I got home and said that it was normally something she only recommended when the genetic age of the egg was over 35 but that she'd send in the order if I wanted her to.  I told her that it would make me feel better if we could do that so she gave me the number of the place they send patients and I'll give them a call Thursday to schedule.  It will give me a bit more peace of mind and anything that does that is a good thing.

Thank you all for your well wishes and your positive thoughts.  I know that for some of you it's really hard to read my blog right now and I completely understand that.  Knowing that you are out there and cheering me on means more to me than I can say.  Thank you.

Now to figure out how to tell people without feeling like I'm going to jinx something.  :-)

The Big Day - 10w5d

Today is our first OB appointment.  To say I’m nervous is a bit of an understatement.  I keep telling myself that the baby’s fine, baby’s fine, baby’s fine.  I’m hoping that the baby has been listening to me.  I’m also hoping that God has been listening to me.

If all goes well today, BJ will start spreading the news.  I will tell my parents tomorrow.  My step mom will be off work tomorrow so I know that she and my dad will be together and I will have them put me on speaker phone.

Our appointment is at 1:15 ET.  I’ll be walking into that office as a pregnant lady for the first time ever.  The last time I was there it was about a month or so after our loss.  I saw the Nurse Practitioner that time and had to relay the whole story to her.  She was very kind and was sad with me (at least it felt that way).

Today is a different story.  Today we are pregnant (baby’s fine, baby’s fine, baby’s fine) and BJ will be with me.  I will need to give a history and I will have to tell her that we did DE IVF.  We live in a small county and my husband knows everyone (practically) and I really don’t want to be gossiped about.  I’m going to ask her to keep that on the down low.  I want our child to be able to tell whomever she/he wants about how he/she came to be.  I don’t think it needs to be broadcast to every tom, dick and harry that feels like spreading some office gossip, you know?  Hopefully, after this initial appointment it won’t be brought up again.  I’m 36 so there is probably some extra testing that I can bypass since the egg itself was not of advanced maternal age.

I’ve looked at a couple of tickers to see what the baby should look like now and WOW!  What a difference from the little gummy bear that I saw a few weeks ago.  My apps on my phone pretty much compare the baby to fruit so it’s not that easy to get a mental picture of what’s going on in there.  The ticker that shows the baby is amazing to look at.  I so hope that we get to have an u/s today.  I really want to see the baby and see it moving around in there…as well as hear the heartbeat.  I’ve only seen the heartbeat on the screen so hearing it would be wonderful.

I don’t usually blog from home but given that this is a really big day for us I’m going to break that rule.  BJ will just have to find something to do while I pop back in here to let you all know that baby’s fine, baby’s fine, baby’s fine.

Fingers crossed for a great appointment and a great update.