I started feeling complete dread last night because my breasts were not as sore and I didn’t feel as tired as I thought I should be. And as for any other symptoms, well let’s just say NADA. I was nervous driving up to the clinic this morning. So many thoughts racing through my head. With such a big number for the first beta the 2nd wouldn’t be nearly as good, right? I almost started crying driving up the road as I was asking God to please let me keep this baby. I was a mess.
I’ve been on pins and needles all day. I was watching the clock like no one’s business. I know my nurse’s pattern so I figured I’d get a call between 1:00 and 2:00. Nevertheless, I was carrying the phone with me everywhere since about noon. BJ called me at 1:15 because he was heading to the gym and wanted to check in. No call yet. I decided that I’d go to our gym at work at 1:30 and just have to get the call while on the treadmill. As much as I didn’t want to be in that situation in case it was bad news I couldn’t just sit here and keep watching the clock. I’d go insane for sure.
As I was walking, I couldn’t concentrate on the music from my iPhone. I was forgetting words to songs and I noticed my shoulders slumping more and more. I was a mess and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror…boy did I look depressed.
I came back upstairs to heat up my lunch and convinced myself that she hadn’t called yet because it was bad news. I was sinking so low at this point. Then I had a thought…maybe she e-mailed me with bad news instead of having to tell me and hear me cry over the phone. So I checked my e-mail from my phone after I popped my lunch in the microwave. This is what I received:
Your level looks great @ 1741. Please continue your current medications and repeat the test on Friday.
Did you see that? 1741! That is a doubling time of 42.17 hours! Color me shocked. Color me happy. Referring to an old Family Ties episode…color me Shappy! I sent BJ a text right away telling him that I’m still very pregnant and that things are looking really good right now. He called me a few minutes later and was just as happy, I could tell by the tone of his voice.
I read through each and every one of your comments last night and today and I kept hoping that you all were right and that things would be ok and as of right now they are. I have to test again on Friday and so begins another day of waiting for a phone call or e-mail and praying and hoping that everything is ok in there. For now though, I’m really happy and pleased with our little overachiever. I have waited so long to be one of the people posting beta after beta...it feels good. It's very scary, but it feels really good.