Friday, April 22, 2011

PUPO - (em)Babies on Board

Let's go back to yesterday...

After my nurse called to move up my transfer I did some googling to find out what some of the terms she used meant.  I wasn't sure what "early cavitation" meant.  It wasn't good news, but it wasn't bad news, either.  I jumped in the shower and headed out.  I never made it to the store to get my Easter stuff.  So I will be out tomorrow with all the other last minute crazies trying to find suitable candy for BJ's and the Little Guy's baskets.  Oh well.

I arrived at the clinic with 10 minutes to spare.  I checked in and waited...and waited...and waited.  I went up to the front desk to see how much longer it would be because my bladder was starting to ache.  The receptionist told me that I could let out 10 seconds worth to make myself more comfortable.  Let me tell you, that was not easy...but I managed it and I did, indeed, feel much better.

I was then called by a nurse that said that Dr. M was finishing up in the OR and that he personally wanted to do my transfer and it would just be a few more minutes!  Hot damn!  My own doctor wanted to do my transfer!  He must be feeling very hopeful about things.  All of a sudden running almost an hour behind (after they asked me to come earlier) didn't seem so frustrating.

I went into the room and undressed and waited for him.  He came in and went over the actual fertilization report with me...5 eggs, 3 fertilized, 1 looks ok, the other looks ok and then one is lagging behind.  He burst my bubble to say the least.  He then recommended that we transfer the 2 best looking embryos.  I agreed.  The lab displays the embryos in the petri dish up on a TV screen, how cool is that?  When they came up on the screen Dr. M said, "well, they both look better than I thought they would according to the report."  That made me feel better...a little.  He checked my lining and complimented me on how great the rest of my anatomy cooperates in these matters.  I said, "I know, I just have bad eggs."  He agreed, unfortunately.  He said, "well, if this doesn't work, come back and talk to me and we'll see what we can do."  I didn't want to utter the words out loud that if this doesn't work, we are done.  I didn't want any negativity yesterday.  It was hard, though.  As I gazed upon the screen at my 2 embabies I knew that they didn't look good.  One was definitely better than the other one but that's not saying much.  He transferred them both and I watched the screen with the fluid going into my uterus.  Under my breath (but loud enough for all to hear) I said, "come on babies".  Dr. M. said that they were placed perfectly and that I did everything humanly possible to make this work.  He said that we need to focus all of our positive energy at the task at hand.  He couldn't be more right.

I left there with my picture and my folder and my instructions for the next few days.  I feel like I'm on more restrictions this time and maybe that's because we did a 5dt?  Or maybe they like to add more restrictions now than they did 2 years ago?  Either way, I have been very good at obeying my orders.  I will say that I truly sympathize and admire all you ladies that had (or are now in the midst of) bed rest during your pregnancies.  It's not easy to stay on the couch all day.  I've been doing good but it was tough with dinner last night.  I like to help when I'm here and normally I do most of the clean up afterward.  BJ sent me back over to the couch like a good husband should.  And this morning he told me that I wasn't allowed to go up and down the steps.  He's so sweet.  When he's not making me feel guilty about spending the money on this IVF.  :-)

I'm supposed to schedule my beta for May 4...MAY 4!!!  That would be 18 days after retrieval.  They are crazy.  I'll know way before then whether or not this has worked.  And with a 5 day transfer why would they wait so long to test me?  Either way, I'll be peeing on a stick well before then...and I said as much to my discharge nurse.  So now we wait.  I'm going to try and not worry about it or stress about it.  I want to enjoy the bliss of knowing that I have 2 embryos in me right now.  Even though they aren't great quality, at least one could still make it, right?  Oh, and the 3rd Amigo didn't make it to freeze which I figured.  And we did assisted hatching on the ones that were transferred.

Let's have 3 cheers for the Dynamic Duo!  Hip, hip, hooray!  Hip, hip, hooray!  Hip, hip, hooray!

Now please excuse me while I try not to think about what is supposed to be going on inside my body.


A said...

Hang on tight, baby(s)!!! Have you ever read On (In)Fertile Grounds? (She's on my blogroll) They transferred 3 okay-looking embryos, never thinking they would all implant and she now has a set of happy, healthy QUADS!!! Miracles happen!!!

someday-soon said...

Hip, hip, horray is right!!!! Congratulations on being PUPO =) Good for you for following all the restrictions. It's so weird to sit around on a couch when you feel fine physically. Take it as a chance to catch up on books and TV shows that you never give yourself the time to read or watch. So-so embies make very beautiful babies all the time so do your best to stay positive. I am so, so hopeful for your dynamic duo!!!

Fran said...

Come on little embryos!!! i'm sending the luck of the Irish from here (I'm not Irish myself, but sure I must have gained somewhat of an Irish status by now!) Try not to test too early, give it at least a week!! Much love, Fran

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Go PUPO!! Cmon kiddos, you can do it! Try and relax as much as you can! I started POASing on at 5dp3dt so that I could see when the trigger left my bloodstream and any lines might be the real deal.

I'm sure you've seen this before, but I used a similar 3dt version to entertain myself when I was PUPO:

1dpt5dt... Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day

2dpt5dt... Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining

3dpt5dt... Implantation begins, as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining

4dpt5dt... Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining

5dpt5dt... Morula is completely implanted & has placenta cells /fetal cells

6dpt5dt... Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood

7dpt5dt... More HCG is produced as fetus develops

8dpt5dt.. More HCG is produced as fetus develops

9dpt5dt.. HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

I've got everything crossed for you! P&PTs! Hip, hip, hurray! Hip, hip, hurray! Hip, hip, hurray!

Pie said...

Hooray for the Dynamic Duo! Stick, little one(s), stick!

That is a late beta, btw. I would think May 1 or 2 would be about right. Well, POAS will tell you sooner, but don't do it too soon, you don't want a false negative.

Everything I have is crossed for you TeeJay!!!

Alex said...

I have everything crossed for you and your little embies!!! There are so many stories out there of not-so-great-looking embryos turning into healthy happy babies! Keep focused on that future baby or babies of yours!!! My clinic does betas 14 days after a 5 day transfer, and I thought that was bad! I can't believe you have to wait that long! But I encourage you to wait as long as possible before you POAS. Otherwise you set yourself up for craziness... ;) hope this 2ww+ goes by very quickly!!!

Anonymous said...

Here from ICLW (#54) and glad to find your blog! I'll be mentally cheerleading those beautiful two embries! Try thinking of all the work you hate to do (which for me is anything to do with floor cleaning ... I need a Roomba!) and maybe that will make staying on the couch easier.

Anonymous said...

Everything is crossed for you TeeJay - everything! Go Dynamic Duo!!

Serendipity said...

wow 18 days post EPU seems really, really long. I think my beta will be 9dp5dt so what's that 13 days post EPU. Crazy.

Best of luck staying sane over the wait, sending loads of good luck and positivity to your embies and you.

Lissie said...

Totally stinks you have to wait so long. I'm sending all the positive thoughts your way. Hang in there!!!

AplusB said...

Everything crossed!

Anonymous said...

Sending very very very powerful implantation vibes to your Dynamic Duo!!! :) xoxoxoxoxo

Alley said...

Stick babies stick!! I've got everything crossed for you. :)

foxy said...

Hi TeeJay,
Here from ICLW, What an exciting time for you. I might be crazy, but i've always really loved the 2ww since it is the closest vie ever been to being pregnant. I like having a reason to feel hopeful, whereas other months seem so pointless and hopeless.

I can't believe that they are making you wait so long for your beta! I had my first one at 11 day post retrieval. granted is was crazy low, but it was something. I guess each clinic has their ways.

best of luck to you!