Friday, April 29, 2011

8dp5dt - This is Different

I know I said I wasn't testing until tomorrow but I couldn't help it.  Let me explain my weakness.  I started getting a headache yesterday afternoon.  The kind I get about 2 to 3 days before my period starts.  I actually still have it today.  I also felt some very different kind of twinges in my abdomen yesterday afternoon.  It definitely wasn't my ovary as it was lower and more centered.  At that point I really didn't know what to think.  Many women complain of the twinges and the pains and for a lot of them it really is their uterus working away at sustaining and embryo.  I am of the state of mind that those twinges are caused from the extra E2 I'm putting in my body to MAKE my lining thicker than usual so of course I will feel it twinging and pulling, right?

On a whim I stopped in at the drugstore on my walk to work from the bus stop.  I bought a cheap store brand 2-pack of tests.  The one that is supposed to be as good as the name brand test that can detect a positive up to 5 days before a missed period.  I didn't use FMU.  I just wanted to put myself out of my misery so that I can get on with my life.  So I peed on that stick.  And after I washed my hands I picked it up and took a deep breath because I KNEW what I would be seeing....nothing.  But that's not quite what I saw.


I was in disbelief and my breath got caught in my throat.  Don't worry, I don't really believe it.  It's a very faint line and you probably can't even see it in these pictures.  It's probably an evaporation line or the last of the HCG exiting my body or the by product of a very cheap test.  However, I can't help but wonder if it's real.  My heart is wanting to jump all over and do cartwheels but my head is strapping my heart down in a straight jacket at this point.  I don't want anyone getting too excited over this.  I just was so shocked to even see that faint of a line that I had to share with all of you.  I've never even had an evap line to get excited over.  I've only ever seen the blank white window staring at me.  So now I am even more anxious to get tomorrow's test over with.  I need to get out of this limbo pattern so I can figure out the rest of my life.

Please don't send me comments with encouragement to believe this.  Please send me level headed, let's wait and see comments, ok?  My fragile emotional state will not be able to handle anything else.  And I might be the only one seeing this second line anyway.  I just checked it again (it's been about an hour since I tested) and it's so light, at 8dp5dt it should be much darker if it's a true positive...I'm sure it's just an evap line or a bad test.

18 comments:

A said...

I see the line, too! But "let's wait and see", alright? ;-) Praying for you!!!

Anonymous said...

I understand your hesitation but wanted to share that I also had a faint line at 8dp5dt and I was KU with my twins. I can't help but to want to encourage you to believe this.... Sending you best wishes for tomorrow!!!

WaitWhat

Allison said...

You're not alone in seeing it. Breathe. Deeply and often. And then go pee on more sticks. After my first incredibly faint hpt, every SINGLE time I peed, I POAS and scruitinzed whether the line was getting darker. For days. Well, okay, for a couple weeks (b/c my betas were REALLY low and the obsession took over my life). Thank God for the $ store...

Trying to do as you wish: take a breath. Wait and see. You're almost there, and you're doing GREAT. This is such a hard place to be in. ((((Hugs))))), patience and calming vibes heading your way.

Amanda said...

I totally understand, but I just want to say that I see it too. That's all! xo

someday-soon said...

Thanks for sharing with us! From everything I've read evap lines are gray and don't have color. The line I see has color. I will reserve any other comments until tomorrow. Thinking of you and sending tons of baby dust your way =)

Esperanza said...

I can see it but you're right, it's very faint. I have no idea how it works with hcG triggers or whatever happens with IVF (sorry I'm showing my "I've never used Western treatment colors here" but I'm sure your caution is a good place to start.

I have to say though, I tested early one cycle to "get myself out of limbo and get on with it" and I saw a very faint line that time too. Nine months later I had a daughter. Just saying, stranger things have happened.

But I know that is my story and not yours. I know it has no bearing on your situation. I just couldn't help but share it. ;-)

suchagoodegg said...

I am taking your lead and making myself be calm and collected as I write this comment! I see the line too, my friend. Breathe in, breathe out....zen zen zen zen zen zen zen zen. xoxoxoxoxo

Fran said...

The only thing I want to tell you is that I believed your dream. Ok, I know this is not as level headed as you probably wanted but I can't help smiling!

Jenn said...

those look like the same tests I got (Equate), and I had a very faint positive (just like yours)... oh wait... leval headed right... ummm! sorry, just excitiment over here!

Niccki1211 said...

I see the line. Have you taken it apart to see if it's darker under the plastic? Lets wait and see till tomorrow!!

Pie said...

Ok, I'll try to not freak out or blow sunshine, but its realllllly hard (and you can't see me jumping up and down anyway). I see a line. Deep breaths (for both of us) and go pay for many more brand name pee sticks. Then pee tomorrow AM with FMU. Then post the pic here immediately. OK?

Ooooh boy!

Jem said...

When is your official beta? Can't wait to hear more news.

mommyodyssey said...

I am gonna be the negative voice of reason. I don't see a line.
However - I totally would support your crazy in using another test with FMU tomorrow.
The last few days are always the hardest. Crossing my fingers for you!

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

OK, I see a faint line. TOmorrow morning with FMU will be the real deal. PRAYING that that line become 10,000 darker. Sending many P&PTs!!!

Stephanie said...

I see it too! That's how mine was at first. I waited another two days and retested, and then I did that for the entire week. lol I used something like 8 or 9 tests, I think. It got darker as time progressed. Will keep you in my prayers!!! Hoping that this sticks! xoxo

Stephanie said...

And, my rationalization for using that many tests was...It's a generic test, so it's probably a false positive...so, I'll test again. lol Can't wait for your next test to see what the deal is!

A said...

checking incessantly for an update!!! (HUG)

Alex said...

I can't wait to get your next post - I have everything crossed that this is it!!!