Thursday, January 21, 2010

Welcome ICLW'ers!

I can't believe it's that time again! That's a phrase I use when my period is about to start. "Wasn't I just ON my period?" I ask myself. The time really flies sometimes.

So a little about me...I'm 33 and I live in the NE region of the US. I'm on my second marriage. I have a great step-son that is 8. He's with us about 50% of the time. I have been TTC my first child since I was 24 years old and married to my first husband. I suffer from unexplained infertility. It's very frustrating to say the least. My first husband and I did not seek any medical help as I have no coverage for the procedures. I still don't have coverage but we managed to save money (via tax refunds, over-time, paid out comp days and a little help from my parents)for 2 IUI's and an IVF. Obviously I failed at all 3 of them. I recently spoke to a new doctor that believes that I suffer from DOR (diminished ovarian reserve) as evident from my poor response during my IVF cycle. I had 5 follies, 4 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilize normally and 1 abnormally. I transferred 2 beautiful grade 1 embryos in July and came up empty handed. It was our last best hope.

We are trying naturally again...temping, peeing on opk' know, all the stuff you do when you first start out trying before you think there may be a problem. We've had no luck. I've never seen 2 lines. I'm not sure that I ever will. But for now, I'm trying. The doctor that I saw in October knows another doctor (not with my clinic) that would do an IVF for quite a bit cheaper than my clinic. I'm going to try and get that accomplished by the end of the year. It won't be easy to save that kind of money since we just bought a new house, but I have to try.

I'm in the 2ww right now, actually. My cycles have been a bit wiggy since my IVF. I used to have perfect cycles with at least 3 days of EWCM. Not so much anymore. It's pretty sad how things have changed for me. But still we move forward.

My blog is about my TTC efforts but it's also about my new house and how that has affected my life. I also write about my step-son from time to time and may start doing it more because it's really hard to be a step-mom. I write about my family and my feelings. Some days are good and some days are not so good. But I do try to stay positive as much as I can because I think it's healthier. But you know what? Sometimes it's too damned hard to be positive, so I just be ME.

Thank you for stopping by, it's always nice to know someone is out there reading along!


Anonymous said...

It's nice to meet you!!!! ~ICLW

Leslie said...

Hello!! Cheering you on during your 2WW!! I am crossing my fingers/toes for you!

AnxiousMummyto3 said...

Hey there Teejay! Interesting blog you have here. I really admire your ability to save all that money and pay for your own fertility treatments. That must have taken a lot of organisation, to say the least. You're right about the 'wasn't AF here, like 5 mins ago?' I used to take dong quai to boost my fertility and it gave me 26 day cycles! It was nuts. I'm so sorry you are going through this horrible 'unexplained infertility'. It must be soooo frustrating! Anyway take care and good luck with your future saving!!

Rach said...

oOoOo a 2ww, they are painful but I hope this one turns out with a positive result!!

Congrats on being able to have saved up enough money to pay for your own fertility treatment, kudos to you, thats magnificent!


EC said...

I also have unexplained infertility, and this is also my second marriage. My previous husband and I did see an RE (after ttc for 3 years), and we had quite a bit of testing done. We did two rounds of Clomid/IUI before eventually getting a divorce. How do you feel about dealing with infertility in two different marriages? I am having a way easier time with marriage #2, but I have to remind myself that this is all new for my husband.

I'm sorry you haven't had success so far - especially after saving money to do it! I'm so impressed that you were able to save it in the first place!

A said...

Wave :) I have high hopes for our 2010 babies :)

AplusB said...

Happy ICLW! Hope the 2ww goes quickly and ends with a positive! Have a great weekend :)

junebug said...

Congrats on the new house. That has to be exciting. I hope the 2ww turns into good news. It is hard when you have to save every penny for the expenses. Sometimes I wish could just go for a loan or a fairy grandmother would so up and grant my dreams. Sigh.

Christina said...

Unexplained IF has got to be the worst. It's so unfair. I wish you the best of luck in finally getting to see your two lines.

the subfertile frugalista

Browniris said...

Thanks for sharing your story! I can totally relate to you about the freedom vs. staying home with a baby feelings that you wrote about in your previous post. I feel the same way...ready to relinquish the freedom in exchange for a little baby.


Marla.z said...

I'm unexplained too, but I never took the IVF route. We just can't possibly afford it. It really stinks that IVF not only was unsuccessful for you, but also messed up your cycle. Figures!

Have a happy ICLW week!

Jin said...

Nice to meet you! I just got dx with borderline premature ovarian failure and we meet with our RE in a few days to see if we can still do IUI#2. hope you have a great weekend!


Fran said...

Hi, nice to meet you! I'm happy i found your blog as I'm looking for more blogs in the ttc journey (rather than pregnant already!) I am looking forward to cheering you on. Love, Fran

ICLW #90

T Lee said...

Ooh, congrats on the new house! And I have everything crossed that you can get the new cycle rolling soon!


Christa said...

Good luck on your 2WW! I have a friend with unexplained infertility and I think it's harder for her than it is for me (I have PCOS). I hope your cycle starts to go back to normal! ~ICLW