Monday, January 11, 2010

Still Surging

So my last post indicated another pregnancy announcement that I didn't want to hear. It hit me pretty hard. Harder than I thought and I was surprised by that. I actually cried at my desk and I haven't done that in a pretty long time. It's still upsetting to me but of course I have to pull myself together and stop asking "why NOT me?" and "what did I do wrong?" and "am I not a good enough person?" and other pointless questions like that. It gets me nowhere but in an emotional mess and I don't like being there. Still, it hurts. But I surge on...

The scrapbooking retreat was fun. I completed 42 pages! That's basically one full album of pages. I took a break Saturday for the Little Guy's basketball game and to have dinner with my guys and then I left at 12:00 yesterday....so I could have gotten more accomplished, but I'm pretty happy with that. A woman that was probably in her mid 40's was sitting across from me. We chatted here and there and I tried to help her with her computer a little bit. She noticed some of my pictures and asked me about my family. I told her that my husband was home with his son and she said, "oh, you don't have any children of your own?" Her kids are grown. I shook my head and said "no". She paused for a moment and then said, "smart woman". I didn't know what to say to her. I'm wondering if she could see the big "I'M INFERTILE" stamp on my forehead and was trying to make me feel better. Otherwise, why would someone say that? That was probably the worst "kid" moment that happened over the weekend so that's not so bad I guess. I just kept on surging forward with my work.

Speaking of being an IF, as I predicted, BJ and I did the deed Saturday night. And of course, I had tested negative on my opk's. Wouldn't you know that I detected my LH surge last night and I can feel that I'm ovulating this morning? I didn't even try to get anything from him last night because I knew he'd catch on and then he'd bring it up and ruin the moment and stress himself out and we all know how that goes. I was hoping that since I didn't get the surge until my second test of the day (around 7:30/8:00) that I'd be lucky enough to make it through until tonight when I could try and turn the charm on. Not so much. I detect that surge and within 12-15 hours start feeling the pains in my ovary. My question to you ladies is this...Do you think the pain is from the egg coming out? Or do you think it's the ovary getting ready to release the egg? I'm asking because it usually hurts for several hours and I know that a mature egg only lives for a certain amount of time and that swimmers take a while to get up to where they need to be. I tested again at about 10:15 or so and I got a positive right away, so I'm still surging while having the ovary pain. I would like to know (from anyone's experience) if you think it would still be worth a shot to get some BD'ing in tonight...after 9:00pm? And I mean a REAL shot, like scientifically possible that the swimmers would make it to the egg. I had some EWCM twice on Saturday and that was pretty exciting so I'm hoping that the swimmers that are up there had a nice home to live in until today....when hopefully they will meet the egg that will become my bean. A girl can dream, can't she? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. You ladies are the best!

6 comments:

Aysha said...

I totally think the swimmers are still there from Saturday night. Definitely worth some positive thinking on that. And also worth a try tonight-Just my opinion, but I think the surge happens, then ovulation comes in about 24-48 hours. Different for every woman, but I don't think the ovulation happens right away after the surge line shows. Someone else may have more info on that. Good luck!

callmemama said...

I have ovary pain before I actually ovulate, so I think you might still have time. I would give it a try tonight.
Good luck!

Pie said...

Yes, it's worth a shot. I think that pain is the egg getting ready to release, then slowly releasing. So it's worth seducing the guy. And you may very well have some alive ones left in there, swimming around. Reinforcements can't hurt.

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Definitely worth a shot!! First of all, the swimmers you have from Saturday are still at the party, so that's awesome. But I just learned recently that even though the egg is only fertilizable for 12-24 hours, it's actually not fertilizable for the first 6 hours after release -- so jumping on board tonight may actually be perfect timing. GL on catching that eggie!!

And btw, sorry about the lady and the kids comment. I wish people would stop acting like every single person on earth must have children. Maybe you don't want them. Maybe you're having a hard time conceiving. Either way, none of your business lady!

Kelly said...

I hope those swimmers are still up to the task in there. :) It sounds like your bases are covered. I don't know the answer to your question though (about what you're actually "feeling").

I'm glad you had fun, even though that definitely was an awkward moment. Sounds like she didn't have the best experience herself.

We all ask ourself those questions. I'm not sure if that's any solace to you...but I wanted you to know you weren't alone.

A said...

I think Saturday night would be fine timing- but it probably wouldn't hurt to get another batch into contention ;-) I sure am praying that one of them meets up with your eggie! I don't really know whether the ovulation pain is before or during ovulation- but either way, I think it's a good indication something is happening!

I am so impressed by your 40 pgs of scrapbook! I always look at that aisle in Michael's and think it would be so cool to get into that, but it is $$!! And there is so much, I don't even know where to start. Maybe you could do a post about where to start! :) (So sorry about that jerky comment from the lady there- she has no idea!)