BJ and I went out to a local bar/restaurant that we stumbled upon a few months ago this passed Saturday night. The first time we went there he found out that the parents of a childhood friend actually own the joint. It's close to home and small and cozy but still fun, just the way we like it. We go once every 10 days to 2 weeks, on weekends when we don't have the the Little Guy and maybe once during the week when we don't know what to have for dinner. They have great mini-burgers there and cream of crab soup! Yum-o! Anyway...we were there Saturday night watching football and BJ was getting his drink on and I even had a tiny bit myself. Please don't judge me as I know I am in the 2ww but after 9+ years, I know the reality of my situation so I'm not afraid to have a drink or 2 during this time. I always feel guilty about it but I also feel bad about giving things up for so many years of my life when there wasn't really a need to. I don't get drunk and if there was a fertilized egg in me, it wasn't even implanted yet as I was only 5DPO. I know it's a no-no, but I wanted to relax a little. I digress...
As we were sitting there looking around at the crowd, we noticed that most of the patrons are younger than us. BJ pointed out to me what a young crowd it was. There were a few people our age or older, but not many. So I had to fill him in on the secret...most people our age have at least one, if not more, kids at home and they don't go out to bars much. If he and his ex were still together, he wouldn't be at a bar on a Saturday night, either. And I said, "the only good thing, if you can call it that, about our situation is that we get to go out when we want." And he looked at me and said, "that's not a good thing". And I had to agree. I'm glad he sees it that way. I told him I'd much rather be at home watching a sleeping baby on our big new ottoman. And then I said, "well really, I should be 6 1/2 months pregnant right now, so I'd be home on the couch with a big belly and probably fall asleep around 9:00." He agreed.
Freedom is one thing and parenthood is another. I've had enough freedom. I want to be home with my baby (or my big belly) instead of out at a bar. I'd like to put the baby to bed and have a beer instead of sitting in a noisy bar watching people get drunk off their asses as the younger crowd tend to do. Maybe one day I'll get to know what it's like to tell our older friends that don't have little kids at home, "we can only go out if we can find a babysitter", or "we have to be home by 10:00 so we can take the sitter home".