I am going to rewind to the Fourth of July for today. I had so much going on in my cycle that weekend that I didn't really get to tell this little story.
We were invited over to a friend's for a cookout/crab feast and to watch the fireworks. We ran into some people that we haven't seen in a while and everyone was drinking...except me of course. I was stimming so there was no alcohol going in my system. We are chatting and eating and catching up blah blah blah. After the fireworks we had settled back in at the picnic table. BJ was sitting across from me. Next to me was Mrs. G and next to BJ was Mr. G. Next to Mrs. G was a very drunk female "friend" of ours that we have known a long time. Now that the stage is set:
Mr. G to BJ - so, when are you guys going to, you know? (gesturing having kids)
BJ - we aren't stopping it
Mr. G - what does that mean?
BJ - we aren't stopping it, and we hope it happens
Mr. G - what's up buddy?? (using a tone as if BJ is less of a MAN because he hasn't knocked me up)
Me - I'm defective! (said too loud, but I wasn't about to let BJ go through this alone)
Mrs. G - what do you mean?
Me - I'm defective somewhere, I just don't know where. No one has ever been able to find a problem. (I'm smiling at this point but getting very annoyed and having a hard time staying "nice")
Mrs. G - have you both been tested recently? are all your levels ok?
Me - yes, everything is fine with us. (she is a nurse so I expect her to be somewhat knowledgeable on the science of things)
Mrs. G - so it's just timing. (are you f-ing kidding me?? TIMING!)
Me - (taking a deep breath and choosing my words carefully and trying not to be bitchy) I have been at this a long time. I've read the books and done the research, it's not timing.
Mrs. G - Maybe you need to stop thinking about it. (AAAHHHHH!!!!! that's worse than telling me it's a TIMING issue!)
Then, BJ saves the day....he picked up a crab knocker/mallet and banged it down on the table 3 or 4 times. I said "order in the court" and he said "case closed" At this point the drunk "friend" said, "yeah, sometimes you just need to stop thinking about it..." We laughed and carried on some more and that was the end of it, thank goodness.
What is it with people that they think it's ok to keep prodding, especially when they have been told that you are having PROBLEMS TTC??? Would she have told a cancer patient that they needed to time their Chemo better? I know that is a drastic comparison and not really appropriate so I apologize for offending anyone, but come on! If you know someone is having a tough time and you haven't seen them in a long time and you don't know them all that well, what gives you the right to act like you know everything and the person that has been trying (through 2 marriages) to get pg doesn't know how to TIME SEX for the purpose of baby making??? Ack!
Infertility is one of the most trying and tiring things anyone can go through. We just want to be normal and have babies like the fertiles do. We don't want people insulting us, our effort or our knowledge.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.