Thank you all for your wonderful comments on my last post. I know I'm not alone out here and it's nice to have such a supportive network of people. It really means a lot to me when I read the heartfelt and sincere comments that are left for me.
I'm doing better today. Actually, yesterday started the pick me up stage. No real reason other than I have to move on because time does not stop for a broken heart. And I'm sure my hormones getting back in line help, too. We all know how CD1 and CD2 can mess with our emotions even when we aren't TTC.
I've decided not to temp and not to pee on the opk's this cycle. Not so much decided as I forgot to order more opk's so I don't have them to pee on even if I wanted to. The temping will go by the wayside this cycle as well. I know my approximate ovulation time so I will try to seduce the hubby when we get close and we will just play it by ear. It takes some of the stress off to not worry about peeing on the opk's and temping every morning. Plus, May is my birthday month and our anniversary month...I'd like to just enjoy those things without the stress of hard core TTC. So this is me on a mini-break.
We had a nice weekend together although we were no where near as productive as we should have been. Friday night we went to our hang out and watched the hockey game. My poor team didn't really show up for the whole game and now we are forced to travel for game 6. I so hope we pull this off tonight. We sat in the rain at the Little Guy's baseball game Saturday morning. They scored 4 runs (the Little Guy even scored one!) but still lost the game. It was cold and rainy and just miserable. We ate lunch out and then went home and vegged for a while. The neighbors invited us down so we went over there for a couple of hours Saturday night. Yesterday was errand day. The big "mart" store and then the grocery store. It was muggy yesterday but warm and felt so much better than cold rain. We went for a walk in the evening and checked out some of the other houses that are being built around us. It was interesting to see the inside of the houses. We decided that we like the lay out of our house probably the best although we wish that our living room was a little bigger/wider. Other than that, the only thing that impressed us was some of the garages and how big they seemed compared to ours. I still haven't done my post about all the problems we've had with our new house...I'll get to it.
Back to the TTC....I think this is the shortest period I've had since they started getting short and light. I know the clomid probably had something to do with that, but my goodness. Friday was CD1 and I had a medium flow. It picked up Friday night and I was worried it would get really heavy since it was late arriving. Not so. Saturday was a medium flow and then nothing Saturday night until now. I'm not complaining, that's for sure. It's just another observation of my body doing something different after IVF.
All in all, my mood has improved greatly and I'm going to relax a little this cycle. We'll see how the relaxing goes once I know I'm getting close to ovulating. :-) Again, thank you all for your wonderful comments, you really do make a difference in how I feel and I how I look at the big picture.
Showing posts with label clomid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clomid. Show all posts
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
CD8
Well, I took my last Clomid pill last night. What I can tell you about this round of Clomid so far, is this:
- My ovaries are twinging for sure. Some of these twinges (on both sides) have been pretty sharp and taken me by surprise. The twinges have stopped me in my tracks on more than one occasion.
- I'm emotional. I'm only on 50mg and that usually doesn't affect my emotions very much. This time around, though, it's making me feel like I have PMS. I'm quick to tear up and have all sorts of sad thoughts. And I'm quick to snap and get ticked off at little things.
I hope I'm not messing anything up with my insides by taking this Clomid without first seeing if there were any cysts in there. And I hope these hormones don't mess with my already somewhat unpredictable cycles. Am I being too paranoid? I think it's the medicine making me freak out about all this right now. I don't remember Clomid having this affect on me before, but it has been a year since it's been in my body.
The POAS will begin tomorrow mid-morning to try and detect my LH surge. I'm sure it will be negative tomorrow, but with my cycles you just never know anymore. My guess is that I will hit my peak days this weekend. I'd love to get some good BD'ing in Saturday and Sunday but will probably only manage 1 of those days. We'll have to play it by ear I guess.
I called a woman on TV a bitch the other night. I was upset with myself for saying it after I said it. We were watching a new show on hgtv about first time home sellers. This couple wanted to sell their 2 bedroom, small rambler and buy a bigger house because they are ready to start a family. She must have said that at least 3 times before I wished her luck with that. I also proceeded to tell her that just because you buy the house with 4-bedrooms doesn't mean that you get to fill them with babies. And hopefully you (she) isn't stuck with a great house that just ends up being empty. At the end of the show they finally sold their house and bought a really nice 4 bedroom home. As I was commenting on how pretty the house was, she announced that in about 7 months there would be 3 of them living there. So I called her a bitch. Not a very nice thing to do. Especially since she seemed like a very pleasant young woman. And I also was mad at myself because I don't really want other women to have difficulties TTC. It sucks and it can suck the life right out of you. But does it have to be so damned easy for some people? Why can't we infertiles just say "we are ready for a family" and just get knocked up? Can't there be a "standard" of waiting time before you get your BFP? Let's say that no one gets pregnant unless they've been trying for at least 6 months. Then on your 7th cycle, once you have suffered through 6 negatives, you get your BFP. I think I was really starting to wonder if something was wrong by my 6th failed cycle. And I wanted a BFP so bad that I could taste it. If we have a waiting time, then we will appreciate those positives even more when we get them on that 7th cycle. That way, no one woman suffers any more than any other woman. AND...we all get babies!
If only it were that easy. Oh yeah...for most couples it IS that easy.
- My ovaries are twinging for sure. Some of these twinges (on both sides) have been pretty sharp and taken me by surprise. The twinges have stopped me in my tracks on more than one occasion.
- I'm emotional. I'm only on 50mg and that usually doesn't affect my emotions very much. This time around, though, it's making me feel like I have PMS. I'm quick to tear up and have all sorts of sad thoughts. And I'm quick to snap and get ticked off at little things.
I hope I'm not messing anything up with my insides by taking this Clomid without first seeing if there were any cysts in there. And I hope these hormones don't mess with my already somewhat unpredictable cycles. Am I being too paranoid? I think it's the medicine making me freak out about all this right now. I don't remember Clomid having this affect on me before, but it has been a year since it's been in my body.
The POAS will begin tomorrow mid-morning to try and detect my LH surge. I'm sure it will be negative tomorrow, but with my cycles you just never know anymore. My guess is that I will hit my peak days this weekend. I'd love to get some good BD'ing in Saturday and Sunday but will probably only manage 1 of those days. We'll have to play it by ear I guess.
I called a woman on TV a bitch the other night. I was upset with myself for saying it after I said it. We were watching a new show on hgtv about first time home sellers. This couple wanted to sell their 2 bedroom, small rambler and buy a bigger house because they are ready to start a family. She must have said that at least 3 times before I wished her luck with that. I also proceeded to tell her that just because you buy the house with 4-bedrooms doesn't mean that you get to fill them with babies. And hopefully you (she) isn't stuck with a great house that just ends up being empty. At the end of the show they finally sold their house and bought a really nice 4 bedroom home. As I was commenting on how pretty the house was, she announced that in about 7 months there would be 3 of them living there. So I called her a bitch. Not a very nice thing to do. Especially since she seemed like a very pleasant young woman. And I also was mad at myself because I don't really want other women to have difficulties TTC. It sucks and it can suck the life right out of you. But does it have to be so damned easy for some people? Why can't we infertiles just say "we are ready for a family" and just get knocked up? Can't there be a "standard" of waiting time before you get your BFP? Let's say that no one gets pregnant unless they've been trying for at least 6 months. Then on your 7th cycle, once you have suffered through 6 negatives, you get your BFP. I think I was really starting to wonder if something was wrong by my 6th failed cycle. And I wanted a BFP so bad that I could taste it. If we have a waiting time, then we will appreciate those positives even more when we get them on that 7th cycle. That way, no one woman suffers any more than any other woman. AND...we all get babies!
If only it were that easy. Oh yeah...for most couples it IS that easy.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Projects
Hello, everyone. I will first get to the TTC stuff since this is an IF blog, after all. I'm on CD6 and I have been faithfully taking my Clomid since Friday. I have felt a few twinges here and there but nothing out of the ordinary. For all I know, I could have a cyst in there messing things up. That's what happened with my first 2 attempts with IUI. I couldn't start the Clomid because of a cyst. Let's hope that there is nothing going on in there but good old fashioned follicle growth...let's say 2 to 3 really good ones. I have 2 more pills to take and then on CD9 (which happens to be April Fool's Day) I will start to POAS of the opk kind. And if I follow my 'general' timeline, we should be BD'ing on the weekend...always a good thing. However, it does fall on the weekend that we have the Little Guy. How does that always happen? Again...positive thoughts.
As some of you know, maybe all of you if you've read back entries, we bought a house in December. This house is a brand new house. And if someone ever tries to tell you that a new house is the way to go because you don't have to worry about doing any projects, they are completely full of it and should be smacked upside their head. :-)
So far, the things that we want to get done are as follows:
- new master bath lights: we hate the builder lights
- extra shelving in our closet and the Little Guy's closet and our laundry room
- kitchen cabinet hardware
- ceramic flooring in kitchen and back splash
- blinds in all windows
- ceiling fans in bedrooms and living room
- light in office
- hooks on back of master bath and hall bath doors for towels...the racks are for 'pretty' towels
- hooks on laundry room door to hang clothes as they come out of the dryer
- switch dryer door to open on the left side
- some sort of organization in the garage
- finish basement with craft room and bathroom
- wood flooring in office, dining room and foyer
- better grade carpet in living room...very high traffic area
There's more that I can't think of right now. And this does not even include all the decorating that needs done and the decisions involved in that process. I can tell you that we have accomplished some things on the list. Other things will wait until we get our tax money. Which is already spent before it even gets here as we need a shed and a lawn tractor and we want to plant some trees.
Saturday we actually found a ceiling fan for the living room. I really like it...now. I hated it yesterday while BJ was trying to put it up. Everything was going great until he had to house the wires in a compartment that was too small. All hell broke loose in our house yesterday afternoon. He was mad and cussing and I was trying to be helpful (even though he's a pain in the butt to try and help because of course I can't do anything right) and kept my mouth shut. It got to a point where I went off and did laundry and left him to sulk. He finished the fan and I didn't even have to help anymore. All was well because it worked when we turned it on. While at the store Saturday, he decided he wanted to put a cat door in our basement door so that we can close the basement door. Smokey's litter box is downstairs and he can't stand the door being opened the least little bit. Another project. And this one was almost as bad as the fan. There were no written directions, only a few pictures. He cut the hole in the door and it was all downhill from there. Things didn't fit, didn't line up, wouldn't stay straight...you name it, it went wrong. I actually thought we were going to have to buy a new door and forget the whole thing. We finally got it installed....and she's scared to death of it. We have been working with her and I'm hoping that she uses it today while we aren't there to put her through a few times. And in my opinion....the cat door bothers me more (and looks worse) than the basement door being open a crack. But whatevah, that's just MY opinion.
We picked out our cabinet hardware and now we need to purchase all of it. One of the master bath lights have been replaced and I'm not exactly sure why he hasn't done the other one. Our bedroom and the Little Guy's playroom have ceiling fans. We have one for the 4th bedroom but it's just sitting on the floor upstairs. A couple of hooks have been hung up. We bought pegboard and hooks for the garage Saturday, just need the shed so we can start getting things out of our way so we can work on organizing the garage. The dryer door was finally switched over 2 weekends ago.
I'm not sure my marriage can take any more projects, at least not ones where 2 people are required. :-) I'm not the most 'construction' minded or talented person out there, but when I try to help, I AM trying to HELP....and I'm doing my best. My dad, my first husband and now this husband all seem to think I can read their minds and that I should be as strong as they are and know what they want me to do without them saying anything. Ugh. How do I end up with these impatient men? I think from now on, I'm going to recommend that he do projects on his own or he can recruit his new buddy next door. They can get together and ooze all the perfection they want while I sit back and just enjoy the finished product. :-)
So if anyone ever tells you that you won't have as many projects at home if you buy a new construction house....please smack them for me. Thanks!
As some of you know, maybe all of you if you've read back entries, we bought a house in December. This house is a brand new house. And if someone ever tries to tell you that a new house is the way to go because you don't have to worry about doing any projects, they are completely full of it and should be smacked upside their head. :-)
So far, the things that we want to get done are as follows:
- new master bath lights: we hate the builder lights
- extra shelving in our closet and the Little Guy's closet and our laundry room
- kitchen cabinet hardware
- ceramic flooring in kitchen and back splash
- blinds in all windows
- ceiling fans in bedrooms and living room
- light in office
- hooks on back of master bath and hall bath doors for towels...the racks are for 'pretty' towels
- hooks on laundry room door to hang clothes as they come out of the dryer
- switch dryer door to open on the left side
- some sort of organization in the garage
- finish basement with craft room and bathroom
- wood flooring in office, dining room and foyer
- better grade carpet in living room...very high traffic area
There's more that I can't think of right now. And this does not even include all the decorating that needs done and the decisions involved in that process. I can tell you that we have accomplished some things on the list. Other things will wait until we get our tax money. Which is already spent before it even gets here as we need a shed and a lawn tractor and we want to plant some trees.
Saturday we actually found a ceiling fan for the living room. I really like it...now. I hated it yesterday while BJ was trying to put it up. Everything was going great until he had to house the wires in a compartment that was too small. All hell broke loose in our house yesterday afternoon. He was mad and cussing and I was trying to be helpful (even though he's a pain in the butt to try and help because of course I can't do anything right) and kept my mouth shut. It got to a point where I went off and did laundry and left him to sulk. He finished the fan and I didn't even have to help anymore. All was well because it worked when we turned it on. While at the store Saturday, he decided he wanted to put a cat door in our basement door so that we can close the basement door. Smokey's litter box is downstairs and he can't stand the door being opened the least little bit. Another project. And this one was almost as bad as the fan. There were no written directions, only a few pictures. He cut the hole in the door and it was all downhill from there. Things didn't fit, didn't line up, wouldn't stay straight...you name it, it went wrong. I actually thought we were going to have to buy a new door and forget the whole thing. We finally got it installed....and she's scared to death of it. We have been working with her and I'm hoping that she uses it today while we aren't there to put her through a few times. And in my opinion....the cat door bothers me more (and looks worse) than the basement door being open a crack. But whatevah, that's just MY opinion.
We picked out our cabinet hardware and now we need to purchase all of it. One of the master bath lights have been replaced and I'm not exactly sure why he hasn't done the other one. Our bedroom and the Little Guy's playroom have ceiling fans. We have one for the 4th bedroom but it's just sitting on the floor upstairs. A couple of hooks have been hung up. We bought pegboard and hooks for the garage Saturday, just need the shed so we can start getting things out of our way so we can work on organizing the garage. The dryer door was finally switched over 2 weekends ago.
I'm not sure my marriage can take any more projects, at least not ones where 2 people are required. :-) I'm not the most 'construction' minded or talented person out there, but when I try to help, I AM trying to HELP....and I'm doing my best. My dad, my first husband and now this husband all seem to think I can read their minds and that I should be as strong as they are and know what they want me to do without them saying anything. Ugh. How do I end up with these impatient men? I think from now on, I'm going to recommend that he do projects on his own or he can recruit his new buddy next door. They can get together and ooze all the perfection they want while I sit back and just enjoy the finished product. :-)
So if anyone ever tells you that you won't have as many projects at home if you buy a new construction house....please smack them for me. Thanks!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Meeting New People
As I stated before, yesterday was the Little Guy's first baseball practice of the season. I commute to and from work on a bus. I parked at a different stop (one that we usually get to by 5:45-5:50 at the latest) so that I could drive to the practice location and not miss anything. So of course, the bus is late picking us up. And not just by a few minutes. Another commuter called to check to see where he was. While she was on the phone with dispatch, I saw our bus. He was a block away at a traffic light...stopped because of a police motorcycle blocking the road for a motorcade. Great. Come to find out that the next bus (they run about 10 minutes apart) was at the light, too. When they finally got to our stop, it was 4:50...I was already fuming at being 11 minutes behind schedule. Then traffic sucked the rest of the way, too. Needless to say, I didn't get to my truck until 6:08 then I had to drive to practice. But I did remember to get off at the right stop. :-) I hate being late, to anything. As the saying goes...best laid plans...
Practice was good. I even met new people. And get this...one lady is already living in our development and the other is having a house built there, too. The one, Jenny, has 3 boys and we have already met her husband on a number of occasions at our house while it was being built. They had a house to sell before they could move here and it finally did because they broke ground yesterday for the new house. The other lady, Michelle, has an older boy that we see skateboarding on our way in and out of the development. Not sure we want the Little Guy hanging out down there because I think he may be a little old for him, but her other son is his age so what can we do? He loves to skate and he's always so interested in watching the older boy as we drive by. Will have to keep an eye on that situation. And as it turns out, Jenny's youngest boy actually goes to the Little Guy's daycare 3 days a week. Very small world. They seem very nice and it will be nice to have someone to talk to during the games besides the husband (that usually finds other dads to talk to) and the Little Guy's mother. Granted, these women have kids and I don't, but I don't see them having any MORE kids so that means hopefully no pregnancy announcements.
After practice we grabbed some dinner and watched the hockey game. OMG! What a game it was. My team took the lead, lost the lead, got the lead back and then lost it again with less than 4 minutes to play. It went to overtime and then to a shootout. I thought for sure we were DONE but we came back from a deficit and scored 3 straight in the shootout to WIN! That makes 3 straight over the Stanley Cup champs....YEAH! I can't stand that organization. Yay for my team!
I get to start my Clomid tomorrow and I'm excited about that. I will take it before bed each night and say a little prayer that it lets me grow at least 2 really good eggs in there. It will feel good to be doing something a little more pro-active in this process. I'm a little nervous about getting my hopes up too much, though. I know the reality but knowing how I respond to Clomid, I get a little giddy each time I think about it. Although, the 2 IUI's I did with Clomid didn't yield a baby....no negative thinking! Just positive thoughts coming from me and my ovaries right now.
Practice was good. I even met new people. And get this...one lady is already living in our development and the other is having a house built there, too. The one, Jenny, has 3 boys and we have already met her husband on a number of occasions at our house while it was being built. They had a house to sell before they could move here and it finally did because they broke ground yesterday for the new house. The other lady, Michelle, has an older boy that we see skateboarding on our way in and out of the development. Not sure we want the Little Guy hanging out down there because I think he may be a little old for him, but her other son is his age so what can we do? He loves to skate and he's always so interested in watching the older boy as we drive by. Will have to keep an eye on that situation. And as it turns out, Jenny's youngest boy actually goes to the Little Guy's daycare 3 days a week. Very small world. They seem very nice and it will be nice to have someone to talk to during the games besides the husband (that usually finds other dads to talk to) and the Little Guy's mother. Granted, these women have kids and I don't, but I don't see them having any MORE kids so that means hopefully no pregnancy announcements.
After practice we grabbed some dinner and watched the hockey game. OMG! What a game it was. My team took the lead, lost the lead, got the lead back and then lost it again with less than 4 minutes to play. It went to overtime and then to a shootout. I thought for sure we were DONE but we came back from a deficit and scored 3 straight in the shootout to WIN! That makes 3 straight over the Stanley Cup champs....YEAH! I can't stand that organization. Yay for my team!
I get to start my Clomid tomorrow and I'm excited about that. I will take it before bed each night and say a little prayer that it lets me grow at least 2 really good eggs in there. It will feel good to be doing something a little more pro-active in this process. I'm a little nervous about getting my hopes up too much, though. I know the reality but knowing how I respond to Clomid, I get a little giddy each time I think about it. Although, the 2 IUI's I did with Clomid didn't yield a baby....no negative thinking! Just positive thoughts coming from me and my ovaries right now.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Just Once
Just once I'd like my body to do what it has in the past. Minus the not getting pregnant part. Just once I'd like to know that I did everything right on my end. Why is that too much to ask? I'm so frustrated right now that I could scream and cry and throw in the towel. I know I'm over reacting but I don't care. I know I should just pipe down and settle in for the 2ww. But I don't want to pipe down. I'm tired of being quiet and just sitting here like nothing is bothering me.
Way back in the day (and even now) when I used opk's to time BD'ing it was tricky. I would get a positive and then I would ovulate less than 48 hours later. Usually, I would ovulate in 24 hours or less when I got the positive result. I have come to count on that. I have come to rely on that. I have always been certain that my surge wasn't as strong as those women who get a positive and know they have up to 2 days before ovulation. It has always been that way for me. Until now, of course.
Not only is my body trying to get back to normal in length and day of ovulation, but it seems like it's trying to act like a "normal" woman's body, too. Where is all of this anger and frustration coming from? I'll tell you...
BJ and I did our thing Friday night like we had wanted. I knew it was still early but feared that I'd get the positive on Saturday and be out of luck. Imagine how happy I was that I tested negative twice on Saturday. I knew asking you ladies for help in that area would work. And like I had hoped, I got a blaring positive on the opk Sunday. Heaven's to Betsy this was going to be perfect! BJ and I had already been teasing and flirting with each other so we both had it on our minds. The Little Guy went with his mom after his basketball game and BJ and I went out to watch the rest of the race and just chill. I had a couple of drinks and we ate dinner. We went home and of course being all relaxed and what not, things happened. I was pretty happy since I just knew I'd ovulate Monday.
I started feeling sick around 11:00pm. I woke up with a terrible stomach ache and needed to use the bathroom. As soon as I was done with that, I was hurling up my dinner. Great. I was up a couple more times sitting on and then sticking my head in the toilet. A great visual don't you think? It was terrible. BJ said that his stomach was hurting, too so we deduced that our crab dip made us sick. I didn't get to sleep until a little after 2:00am. Then it was off to work. I would have stayed home but we had a big meeting to prepare for and my boss had a trip that I needed to finalize some details on. I didn't get sick anymore but I felt pretty queasy all day. Not to mention I was exhausted. Puking takes a lot out of a person. Then it dawned on me that I wasn't feeling any ovulation pains. I decided (and I don't know why) to POAS again. And it was another blaring positive.
Most women would be ecstatic to get a positive 2 days in a row. I'm obviously not most women. I was so mad that I cursed that 2nd line. There was no way either of us was going to be up for another romp after the night we had...it was bad enough that I was sick and didn't sleep but I kept waking BJ up every time I got out of and into bed. Plus, BJ asked me in the morning if we had at least gotten our timing right. I beamed out a big "yes" and told him I was pretty sure I'd be ovulating Monday. Now here it is Tuesday (CD13) and I still don't feel like I'm ovulating fully, I've had a few pinches in the ovary area but nothing definitive.
Again, I'm over reacting with all this anger and frustration as I know I should take this as a good sign. Maybe my fertility is not diminishing as much as I had feared. Maybe it just needs to work out some kinks? I don't know, but I had better feel some ovulation pains today. We have the Little Guy tonight so I don't know if I'd be able to swindle some action out of BJ or not. I just want my body to be predictable again...although as predictable as it used to be I never got a baby out of it.
Oh, and thanks for the advice and well wishes regarding the Clomid. I know I'm a pretty quick responder and that my follies grow fast (when not suppressed into oblivion) so I'm going to take it starting on day 3. I figure it's better to start a little early than to miss the boat all together. When I did my IUI's I responded well starting on day 3 so that's going to be my plan of attack next cycle.
Way back in the day (and even now) when I used opk's to time BD'ing it was tricky. I would get a positive and then I would ovulate less than 48 hours later. Usually, I would ovulate in 24 hours or less when I got the positive result. I have come to count on that. I have come to rely on that. I have always been certain that my surge wasn't as strong as those women who get a positive and know they have up to 2 days before ovulation. It has always been that way for me. Until now, of course.
Not only is my body trying to get back to normal in length and day of ovulation, but it seems like it's trying to act like a "normal" woman's body, too. Where is all of this anger and frustration coming from? I'll tell you...
BJ and I did our thing Friday night like we had wanted. I knew it was still early but feared that I'd get the positive on Saturday and be out of luck. Imagine how happy I was that I tested negative twice on Saturday. I knew asking you ladies for help in that area would work. And like I had hoped, I got a blaring positive on the opk Sunday. Heaven's to Betsy this was going to be perfect! BJ and I had already been teasing and flirting with each other so we both had it on our minds. The Little Guy went with his mom after his basketball game and BJ and I went out to watch the rest of the race and just chill. I had a couple of drinks and we ate dinner. We went home and of course being all relaxed and what not, things happened. I was pretty happy since I just knew I'd ovulate Monday.
I started feeling sick around 11:00pm. I woke up with a terrible stomach ache and needed to use the bathroom. As soon as I was done with that, I was hurling up my dinner. Great. I was up a couple more times sitting on and then sticking my head in the toilet. A great visual don't you think? It was terrible. BJ said that his stomach was hurting, too so we deduced that our crab dip made us sick. I didn't get to sleep until a little after 2:00am. Then it was off to work. I would have stayed home but we had a big meeting to prepare for and my boss had a trip that I needed to finalize some details on. I didn't get sick anymore but I felt pretty queasy all day. Not to mention I was exhausted. Puking takes a lot out of a person. Then it dawned on me that I wasn't feeling any ovulation pains. I decided (and I don't know why) to POAS again. And it was another blaring positive.
Most women would be ecstatic to get a positive 2 days in a row. I'm obviously not most women. I was so mad that I cursed that 2nd line. There was no way either of us was going to be up for another romp after the night we had...it was bad enough that I was sick and didn't sleep but I kept waking BJ up every time I got out of and into bed. Plus, BJ asked me in the morning if we had at least gotten our timing right. I beamed out a big "yes" and told him I was pretty sure I'd be ovulating Monday. Now here it is Tuesday (CD13) and I still don't feel like I'm ovulating fully, I've had a few pinches in the ovary area but nothing definitive.
Again, I'm over reacting with all this anger and frustration as I know I should take this as a good sign. Maybe my fertility is not diminishing as much as I had feared. Maybe it just needs to work out some kinks? I don't know, but I had better feel some ovulation pains today. We have the Little Guy tonight so I don't know if I'd be able to swindle some action out of BJ or not. I just want my body to be predictable again...although as predictable as it used to be I never got a baby out of it.
Oh, and thanks for the advice and well wishes regarding the Clomid. I know I'm a pretty quick responder and that my follies grow fast (when not suppressed into oblivion) so I'm going to take it starting on day 3. I figure it's better to start a little early than to miss the boat all together. When I did my IUI's I responded well starting on day 3 so that's going to be my plan of attack next cycle.
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