Today is CD8. I will start my opk'ing today...in about an hour or so. I don't think I'll see a positive since it's only CD8, but I figure that it can't hurt to get an early start seeing as how I have ovulated on CD10 before. I hope not to ovulate that early this time, but there's nothing I can do about it so I'll just start peeing in the cup and dipping my stick a little early this cycle.
About a month ago, BJ and I went to his niece's birthday party. She turned 3. I love her dearly and she is just as sweet as can be. BJ's sister's husband has a pretty large family. His nieces and nephews are all grown and starting to have families of their own. They were all there at the party. His nephew's wife is pregnant...about 8 months along. This will be their 3rd child in 3 years. Somewhere down the line, I lost count of how many they had. It was funny because there was this 1 year old little boy running around and I had no idea who he belonged to. When it was explained to me, I felt defeated. I kid you not, there were 5 toddlers at this party, all around the same age, all 3 and under. Everyone was so happy to play with them and hold them and make them laugh...it made me so sad. BJ and I should have a baby to add to the mix, but we don't. This was the first time in a long time that I felt like I needed to leave the room. It was so overwhelmingly claustrophobic in their basement that I thought I would have to go hide in the bathroom for a while. I didn't, of course. I just stuck close to BJ and the older kids and did my best to ignore everyone else, for my own sanity. Well, my SIL took notice. She asked me if I was ok and I told her yes, I'm fine. It's not like I can just spill my guts right there in front of everyone. Who needs the drama, the tears, the pity, the embarrassment?? Not me. Well, she sent me an e-mail last week asking again about my mood at the party. So I let it all out...how my heart aches and breaks because I can't and probably won't have a child of my own and how I was just surrounded by happy babies and parents and a very pregnant woman. I told her that I was usually better at hiding my feelings and I guess I need to make sure that I do hide my feelings because I don't want to offend anyone. She never responded to that e-mail. I'm not sure she read it as she has been having a lot of Internet issues lately and when we were over there this passed Sunday, she didn't mention anything. I guess it's better that way but it would be nice for her to say something in response to my outpouring of emotions. Oh well....water under the bridge I guess.
I took a break while typing as I had a staff meeting to attend and took the opportunity to POAS of the opk kind. It was negative but I will test again later this afternoon. My LH surge does strange things. BJ and I did the deed last night so it would be great to get a positive either tomorrow afternoon or Thursday, if I must be early. If not early, then it would be great to get that positive Saturday! We have the Little Guy this weekend, but Saturday sex is almost a given in our house. :-)
Showing posts with label CD8. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CD8. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
It Doesn't Get Easier
As hard as I may try, it doesn't get any easier to go on month after month and keep up the faith and the hope. It's hard for so many reasons but mainly because I know the outcome. It's hard to get passed the fact that I've been trying to get pregnant for over 9 years. And in those 9 years I've had regular periods, ewcm, temperature spikes. I know that my body is doing what it is supposed to be doing. Well, except for the not getting pregnant part. The only explanations are either bad eggs, crazy unknown hormone issues or a lining issue. Knowing that doesn't make things easier.
As many of my regular readers know, we moved into a new house in a new development last December. Other than the people right next to us, no one on the cul de sac has children. It's odd because you would think that a cul de sac would be ripe for families and those planning on families. That's why we picked a lot there. The first people to live on the cul de sac are older than us and I've only spoken to the husband, Paul once or twice. I have waved to the wife, April as she walked her dogs. There are more dogs in our circle of houses than kids, funny, I just realized that. Anyway, Paul and April just got married in March. One of them has a son that goes to college. And when I say goes, I mean that he lives at college. BJ was watering the lawn yesterday and talking to the lady right next door to us, Kim. Paul came by with the dogs. Kim asked why she/we haven't seen April out and about lately like we used to. I was inside and BJ tells me all of this when he comes in. Paul's answer...."April's pregnant. It's not something we planned for right now...not that we weren't going to try. But we weren't expecting it this soon. She's due in December so it's basically a honeymoon baby. She's been really sick and having a very hard time of things lately." And I said to BJ, "of course she's pregnant...I mean they just got married in March, right??" And then I told him that it never gets easier to hear these announcements. He agreed with me. I wish he wouldn't have told me. I wish that I would have just seen her with a belly down the road. Oh well.
And to make matters worse...Kim knows of BJ's and my struggles with IF. Not all the nitty gritty but I told her that we tried and failed with IUI's and an IVF. So when she stops by to get her son (he didn't want to walk with her so he hung out with us) she blurts out Paul and April's news. As if my own husband weren't going to tell me, she felt the need to let me know. How f'ing sweet of her.
In cycle news....I'm not temping this month. Things haven't gotten off to a good start so I threw it out the window for this cycle. I had some ewcm yesterday, which is odd because it was only CD7 so I decided to test with an opk today. It was negative. Ovulation should occur this weekend....of course we have the Little Guy so who knows what will happen in our house as far as sexy time goes. I'm going to try and get some tonight (sounds very frat boy, doesn't it) so at least if it happens early, I'll be covered.
I will post about our new kitten, Gizmo, either tomorrow or early next week. He is one of the reasons my temping is not happening...he likes to keep me awake at night.
I will try and return to my normal blogging pattern very soon. I'm just still not feeling quite like myself. I appreciate each and every one of your comments and it's comforting to know that you are out there. Ya'll are great.
As many of my regular readers know, we moved into a new house in a new development last December. Other than the people right next to us, no one on the cul de sac has children. It's odd because you would think that a cul de sac would be ripe for families and those planning on families. That's why we picked a lot there. The first people to live on the cul de sac are older than us and I've only spoken to the husband, Paul once or twice. I have waved to the wife, April as she walked her dogs. There are more dogs in our circle of houses than kids, funny, I just realized that. Anyway, Paul and April just got married in March. One of them has a son that goes to college. And when I say goes, I mean that he lives at college. BJ was watering the lawn yesterday and talking to the lady right next door to us, Kim. Paul came by with the dogs. Kim asked why she/we haven't seen April out and about lately like we used to. I was inside and BJ tells me all of this when he comes in. Paul's answer...."April's pregnant. It's not something we planned for right now...not that we weren't going to try. But we weren't expecting it this soon. She's due in December so it's basically a honeymoon baby. She's been really sick and having a very hard time of things lately." And I said to BJ, "of course she's pregnant...I mean they just got married in March, right??" And then I told him that it never gets easier to hear these announcements. He agreed with me. I wish he wouldn't have told me. I wish that I would have just seen her with a belly down the road. Oh well.
And to make matters worse...Kim knows of BJ's and my struggles with IF. Not all the nitty gritty but I told her that we tried and failed with IUI's and an IVF. So when she stops by to get her son (he didn't want to walk with her so he hung out with us) she blurts out Paul and April's news. As if my own husband weren't going to tell me, she felt the need to let me know. How f'ing sweet of her.
In cycle news....I'm not temping this month. Things haven't gotten off to a good start so I threw it out the window for this cycle. I had some ewcm yesterday, which is odd because it was only CD7 so I decided to test with an opk today. It was negative. Ovulation should occur this weekend....of course we have the Little Guy so who knows what will happen in our house as far as sexy time goes. I'm going to try and get some tonight (sounds very frat boy, doesn't it) so at least if it happens early, I'll be covered.
I will post about our new kitten, Gizmo, either tomorrow or early next week. He is one of the reasons my temping is not happening...he likes to keep me awake at night.
I will try and return to my normal blogging pattern very soon. I'm just still not feeling quite like myself. I appreciate each and every one of your comments and it's comforting to know that you are out there. Ya'll are great.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
CD8
Well, I took my last Clomid pill last night. What I can tell you about this round of Clomid so far, is this:
- My ovaries are twinging for sure. Some of these twinges (on both sides) have been pretty sharp and taken me by surprise. The twinges have stopped me in my tracks on more than one occasion.
- I'm emotional. I'm only on 50mg and that usually doesn't affect my emotions very much. This time around, though, it's making me feel like I have PMS. I'm quick to tear up and have all sorts of sad thoughts. And I'm quick to snap and get ticked off at little things.
I hope I'm not messing anything up with my insides by taking this Clomid without first seeing if there were any cysts in there. And I hope these hormones don't mess with my already somewhat unpredictable cycles. Am I being too paranoid? I think it's the medicine making me freak out about all this right now. I don't remember Clomid having this affect on me before, but it has been a year since it's been in my body.
The POAS will begin tomorrow mid-morning to try and detect my LH surge. I'm sure it will be negative tomorrow, but with my cycles you just never know anymore. My guess is that I will hit my peak days this weekend. I'd love to get some good BD'ing in Saturday and Sunday but will probably only manage 1 of those days. We'll have to play it by ear I guess.
I called a woman on TV a bitch the other night. I was upset with myself for saying it after I said it. We were watching a new show on hgtv about first time home sellers. This couple wanted to sell their 2 bedroom, small rambler and buy a bigger house because they are ready to start a family. She must have said that at least 3 times before I wished her luck with that. I also proceeded to tell her that just because you buy the house with 4-bedrooms doesn't mean that you get to fill them with babies. And hopefully you (she) isn't stuck with a great house that just ends up being empty. At the end of the show they finally sold their house and bought a really nice 4 bedroom home. As I was commenting on how pretty the house was, she announced that in about 7 months there would be 3 of them living there. So I called her a bitch. Not a very nice thing to do. Especially since she seemed like a very pleasant young woman. And I also was mad at myself because I don't really want other women to have difficulties TTC. It sucks and it can suck the life right out of you. But does it have to be so damned easy for some people? Why can't we infertiles just say "we are ready for a family" and just get knocked up? Can't there be a "standard" of waiting time before you get your BFP? Let's say that no one gets pregnant unless they've been trying for at least 6 months. Then on your 7th cycle, once you have suffered through 6 negatives, you get your BFP. I think I was really starting to wonder if something was wrong by my 6th failed cycle. And I wanted a BFP so bad that I could taste it. If we have a waiting time, then we will appreciate those positives even more when we get them on that 7th cycle. That way, no one woman suffers any more than any other woman. AND...we all get babies!
If only it were that easy. Oh yeah...for most couples it IS that easy.
- My ovaries are twinging for sure. Some of these twinges (on both sides) have been pretty sharp and taken me by surprise. The twinges have stopped me in my tracks on more than one occasion.
- I'm emotional. I'm only on 50mg and that usually doesn't affect my emotions very much. This time around, though, it's making me feel like I have PMS. I'm quick to tear up and have all sorts of sad thoughts. And I'm quick to snap and get ticked off at little things.
I hope I'm not messing anything up with my insides by taking this Clomid without first seeing if there were any cysts in there. And I hope these hormones don't mess with my already somewhat unpredictable cycles. Am I being too paranoid? I think it's the medicine making me freak out about all this right now. I don't remember Clomid having this affect on me before, but it has been a year since it's been in my body.
The POAS will begin tomorrow mid-morning to try and detect my LH surge. I'm sure it will be negative tomorrow, but with my cycles you just never know anymore. My guess is that I will hit my peak days this weekend. I'd love to get some good BD'ing in Saturday and Sunday but will probably only manage 1 of those days. We'll have to play it by ear I guess.
I called a woman on TV a bitch the other night. I was upset with myself for saying it after I said it. We were watching a new show on hgtv about first time home sellers. This couple wanted to sell their 2 bedroom, small rambler and buy a bigger house because they are ready to start a family. She must have said that at least 3 times before I wished her luck with that. I also proceeded to tell her that just because you buy the house with 4-bedrooms doesn't mean that you get to fill them with babies. And hopefully you (she) isn't stuck with a great house that just ends up being empty. At the end of the show they finally sold their house and bought a really nice 4 bedroom home. As I was commenting on how pretty the house was, she announced that in about 7 months there would be 3 of them living there. So I called her a bitch. Not a very nice thing to do. Especially since she seemed like a very pleasant young woman. And I also was mad at myself because I don't really want other women to have difficulties TTC. It sucks and it can suck the life right out of you. But does it have to be so damned easy for some people? Why can't we infertiles just say "we are ready for a family" and just get knocked up? Can't there be a "standard" of waiting time before you get your BFP? Let's say that no one gets pregnant unless they've been trying for at least 6 months. Then on your 7th cycle, once you have suffered through 6 negatives, you get your BFP. I think I was really starting to wonder if something was wrong by my 6th failed cycle. And I wanted a BFP so bad that I could taste it. If we have a waiting time, then we will appreciate those positives even more when we get them on that 7th cycle. That way, no one woman suffers any more than any other woman. AND...we all get babies!
If only it were that easy. Oh yeah...for most couples it IS that easy.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
CD8 - Getting Close
My body is telling me that ovulation is near. I will be POAS of the opk kind in a little while to see if it will be happening tomorrow. I noticed the watery cm this morning and my hormones, while not raging, are waking up for sure. Of course this would all happen when we have the Little Guy starting tonight through the weekend. It's always more difficult to get the job done when he's here. I know that sounds crazy because people have been doing the deed for centuries with kids in the house. The way things normally work at our house is that BJ and I flirt and tease each other usually starting in the kitchen while making dinner. Those things lead to other things while we're watching TV and then things usually end up happening, you know? When the Little Guy is at our house, those opportunities don't really present themselves as well. We are too afraid of getting caught. We put him to bed at 9:00 on school nights so it's still a little early and we just end up with a quickie when we go to bed at 10:00ish. On the weekend, his bed time is 9:30 which means that we are very worried about being heard in our room so things don't usually happen. When he's not at our house we do what we want and then just go back to watching TV and chilling on the couch. Can't do that with the Little Guy there.
I know it sounds like I'm complaining about him being there. I'm not. I'm complaining about yet another obstacle in the baby making adventure. I LOVE having him with us and I wish he lived with us all the time. That might actually be easier in some ways. We'd have a routine and could plan better. He's a great kid and I wish he were mine. I also wish that he went to bed at 8:00 when I'm ovulating. :-) That way, there's more time for him to fall asleep and be oblivious to what we are doing and we wouldn't have to wait until so late to do our thing which sometimes doesn't happen because we are too tired by then. Maybe ovulation will hold off another day and we can send him out to play in the snow while we have a romp. I know, sounds raunchy doesn't it?
We are supposed to get 16 to 24 inches of snow beginning tomorrow mid-day through Saturday night. I won't bore you with how much I'm dreading it. I grocery shopped last night so we are set for food and stuff. Basketball will be canceled again as will the make up game from last weekend. For an indoor sport we sure are getting snowed out a lot. One good thing is that we won't have the make up game on Sunday so I'll be able to watch my hockey game Sunday afternoon! Yay!
Our new neighbors moved in Tuesday. The chatty and nosey couple have arrived. I'm sure we will get the chance to hang out this weekend in the snow. I'm actually kind of glad because the Little Guy will have 2 kids to play with in the snow. BJ is supposed to get a sled today so he can pull them around on the 4-wheeler. Should be fun and a great opportunity to take some pictures.
I hope that everyone that is affected by the snow storm has enough food and supplies and that no one loses power. It's pretty when it falls and it's fun to play in, but it's scary to think about the folks that lose power at home and have no way of getting anywhere. Be safe out there everyone.
Update - the opk is negative but there is a slight 2nd line...think that means that O day will be Saturday. Will have to find a way to sneak in some BD'ing tomorrow night. AND there are no more snow shovels in our town. Great. We only have 1 and that makes for slow progress. Maybe the new neighbors have one we can borrow...hey, they borrowed jumper cables before they even moved in. I guess we really are neighbors now that we are borrowing things from each other. And you know what, it's not a terrible feeling. I might actually like having neighbors.
I know it sounds like I'm complaining about him being there. I'm not. I'm complaining about yet another obstacle in the baby making adventure. I LOVE having him with us and I wish he lived with us all the time. That might actually be easier in some ways. We'd have a routine and could plan better. He's a great kid and I wish he were mine. I also wish that he went to bed at 8:00 when I'm ovulating. :-) That way, there's more time for him to fall asleep and be oblivious to what we are doing and we wouldn't have to wait until so late to do our thing which sometimes doesn't happen because we are too tired by then. Maybe ovulation will hold off another day and we can send him out to play in the snow while we have a romp. I know, sounds raunchy doesn't it?
We are supposed to get 16 to 24 inches of snow beginning tomorrow mid-day through Saturday night. I won't bore you with how much I'm dreading it. I grocery shopped last night so we are set for food and stuff. Basketball will be canceled again as will the make up game from last weekend. For an indoor sport we sure are getting snowed out a lot. One good thing is that we won't have the make up game on Sunday so I'll be able to watch my hockey game Sunday afternoon! Yay!
Our new neighbors moved in Tuesday. The chatty and nosey couple have arrived. I'm sure we will get the chance to hang out this weekend in the snow. I'm actually kind of glad because the Little Guy will have 2 kids to play with in the snow. BJ is supposed to get a sled today so he can pull them around on the 4-wheeler. Should be fun and a great opportunity to take some pictures.
I hope that everyone that is affected by the snow storm has enough food and supplies and that no one loses power. It's pretty when it falls and it's fun to play in, but it's scary to think about the folks that lose power at home and have no way of getting anywhere. Be safe out there everyone.
Update - the opk is negative but there is a slight 2nd line...think that means that O day will be Saturday. Will have to find a way to sneak in some BD'ing tomorrow night. AND there are no more snow shovels in our town. Great. We only have 1 and that makes for slow progress. Maybe the new neighbors have one we can borrow...hey, they borrowed jumper cables before they even moved in. I guess we really are neighbors now that we are borrowing things from each other. And you know what, it's not a terrible feeling. I might actually like having neighbors.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Singing the Blues
After yesterday's sighting of some (very hard to come by these days) EWCM, I tested twice with an opk. Both were negative. They were so negative in fact that the second line was barely visible. That led me to believe that I had at least another day. And since I figured that I had another day, I didn't do any seducing. Not to mention the fact that BJ decided to stop off at the dealership after work to look around and ended up trading his truck in so he didn't even get home until after 8:00, and then we made dinner, and then we had to eat dinner and then we had to shower (no bubble bath for me again)...we were so wiped out after all of that that there was no way either of us was in the mood for any hanky panky.
I tested again this morning and wouldn't you know that the stupid thing was positive? There won't be any hanky'ing around tonight either as we have the Little Guy with us and we have basketball clinic until just after 8:00. I guess I should hang this TTC thing up until January when hopefully things will settle back down into some sort of normal. Whatever that is.
I'm bummed out about this for a couple reasons. The first of which is that I'm getting ready to ovulate (probably today or tonight) and I KNOW that we won't be doing what we need to be doing. The second problem is that I will be ovulating EXTREMELY early again. Today is only CD8 for crying out loud. If it holds off until tomorrow that will still only be CD9. There is no way that the egg would be mature. What is going on with my body? Did my IVF screw it up that badly? Have I lowered my chances of conceiving even more (as if that's possible)? I really don't know what to do about this. And of course, I'm not temping this cycle so I don't have that t0 go on either. ACK! I want to cough up this hairball known as infertility already! But it just sits in my throat, choking me...letting me breath and hope just enough to get by without fully suffocating. I'm sorry, I'm just really frustrated right now. I used to have a great cycle and now I have a crap cycle that makes no sense and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.
And to top things off, our phone line is messed up. Found out about it after work when I tried to call home and it went straight to voicemail. My handsets all say "line in use". WTF? Called the phone company (for about the 8th time) so they could test the line and they say it's fine. Well, it was fine Tuesday but not so much on Wednesday. They say they don't know what the problem is. Thanks for nothing Ver.izon.
One good thing is that the satellite guy is at our house right now so at least we will be able to watch a little TV tonight. There is something to be thankful for on this day.
I tested again this morning and wouldn't you know that the stupid thing was positive? There won't be any hanky'ing around tonight either as we have the Little Guy with us and we have basketball clinic until just after 8:00. I guess I should hang this TTC thing up until January when hopefully things will settle back down into some sort of normal. Whatever that is.
I'm bummed out about this for a couple reasons. The first of which is that I'm getting ready to ovulate (probably today or tonight) and I KNOW that we won't be doing what we need to be doing. The second problem is that I will be ovulating EXTREMELY early again. Today is only CD8 for crying out loud. If it holds off until tomorrow that will still only be CD9. There is no way that the egg would be mature. What is going on with my body? Did my IVF screw it up that badly? Have I lowered my chances of conceiving even more (as if that's possible)? I really don't know what to do about this. And of course, I'm not temping this cycle so I don't have that t0 go on either. ACK! I want to cough up this hairball known as infertility already! But it just sits in my throat, choking me...letting me breath and hope just enough to get by without fully suffocating. I'm sorry, I'm just really frustrated right now. I used to have a great cycle and now I have a crap cycle that makes no sense and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.
And to top things off, our phone line is messed up. Found out about it after work when I tried to call home and it went straight to voicemail. My handsets all say "line in use". WTF? Called the phone company (for about the 8th time) so they could test the line and they say it's fine. Well, it was fine Tuesday but not so much on Wednesday. They say they don't know what the problem is. Thanks for nothing Ver.izon.
One good thing is that the satellite guy is at our house right now so at least we will be able to watch a little TV tonight. There is something to be thankful for on this day.
Monday, September 28, 2009
CD8 - I Think I Can, I Think I Can
Weekend stuff later....for now, I want to concentrate all my energies to getting an LH surge and ovulating. Today is CD8 and I'm starting to show signs of impending ovulation. Well, if you don't count my crazy temps (98.0 today) I'm getting close to ovulating. I started having the watery CM last night. I will start my opk's tomorrow. There are so many rules about these things.
Don't use FMU
Don't drink for 2 hours
Don't pee for 2-3 hours
Test between 10:00 and 3:00
Don't pee on your hand
Don't overflow the cup
Don't knock the cup off the counter after dipping your opk strip
Ok, well I made the last 3 up but still. I'm going to attempt to test at work tomorrow. I usually drink a bottle of water between 8:30 and 9:30. I'm hoping that I can hold everything until 10:30. But I'm usually in the bathroom by 9:45 going like a race horse. It should be interesting, too since I need to carry the cup with me down the hall to the bathroom. I hope I don't miss the cup. The cups are so small and my stream (tmi) goes every which way sometimes. Ugh...not a fun prospect. But I'm up for the battle! I'm going to pinpoint ovulation this month if it's the last thing I do! See, I'm a trooper.
Our weekend was nice. We went to a HUGE furniture warehouse liquidation sale and of course found a wonderful kitchen table. We can't buy anything now because every dime we have that is extra goes into the savings account for our down payment and our washer and dryer. This table will be perfect and I hope they still have it in a couple of months. I'm so picky when it comes to furniture that I can't believe we found a piece that we BOTH liked. It's shaped like a triangle but the sides have a slight arch to them. It comes with 4 chairs and it's the high kind of table. Not as high as a cocktail table but high enough to be higher than your average kitchen table. Our eat in area isn't huge in the new house and this table would fit perfectly. I'm holding out hope that they still have it when we want it.
Yesterday we went by the house since no workers would be there. We had a blast walking around and seeing all the rooms and trying to figure out where the furniture would go. Looking out our windows at our back yard and dreaming of a pool and grass to play in. When we were upstairs, we went to bedroom #4 and I told the Little Guy that it is a spare bedroom for now and BJ said, "well, if we have a baby it will be in this room". And I said, "yeah, stupid nursery" under my breath. Then the Little Guy wanted to know why he only had 1 window and the baby gets 2 windows. How cute is that? Sibling rivalry when there isn't even a sibling. We explained that his room is about 10 inches bigger and he seemed fine with that. Whew, crisis averted. Although, BJ did tell him that he could choose once everything is done. He still said he wanted the other room. Then BJ said that he'd rather the baby's room be the playroom (closer to the master) until I reminded him how small the playroom is and that I would have a monitor anyway so it didn't matter how far away the nursery was. It's wishful thinking but we just can't help it. We want it so bad. That room is going to haunt me every time I go in it. It SHOULD be the nursery as soon as we move in. My IVF SHOULD have worked. I know I harp on it a lot but it's on my mind a lot and I'm allowed because it's my blog and my rules. (Ok, temper tantrum over). BJ even asked me if his Lyme Disease medicine would mess up his swimmers and make them not good for getting me pregnant. Just the fact that he even thought of that lets me know that it's on his mind, too. Sometimes I wonder because he never really talks about it and just sort of seems non-chalant (I know that is spelled wrong) when my period starts. But he's a guy so I guess that's to be expected.
I'm still going to temp and I'm starting my opk's tomorrow. I'm hoping to get some BD'ing in tonight and then again (at least once) Thursday through Saturday. We have the Little Guy again this weekend. It's more difficult to do stuff after he goes to bed in this rental house as our bedroom shares a wall with his. If we wait until we are sure he's asleep we are too tired to muster the energy. Why does baby making have to be so complicated?
Don't use FMU
Don't drink for 2 hours
Don't pee for 2-3 hours
Test between 10:00 and 3:00
Don't pee on your hand
Don't overflow the cup
Don't knock the cup off the counter after dipping your opk strip
Ok, well I made the last 3 up but still. I'm going to attempt to test at work tomorrow. I usually drink a bottle of water between 8:30 and 9:30. I'm hoping that I can hold everything until 10:30. But I'm usually in the bathroom by 9:45 going like a race horse. It should be interesting, too since I need to carry the cup with me down the hall to the bathroom. I hope I don't miss the cup. The cups are so small and my stream (tmi) goes every which way sometimes. Ugh...not a fun prospect. But I'm up for the battle! I'm going to pinpoint ovulation this month if it's the last thing I do! See, I'm a trooper.
Our weekend was nice. We went to a HUGE furniture warehouse liquidation sale and of course found a wonderful kitchen table. We can't buy anything now because every dime we have that is extra goes into the savings account for our down payment and our washer and dryer. This table will be perfect and I hope they still have it in a couple of months. I'm so picky when it comes to furniture that I can't believe we found a piece that we BOTH liked. It's shaped like a triangle but the sides have a slight arch to them. It comes with 4 chairs and it's the high kind of table. Not as high as a cocktail table but high enough to be higher than your average kitchen table. Our eat in area isn't huge in the new house and this table would fit perfectly. I'm holding out hope that they still have it when we want it.
Yesterday we went by the house since no workers would be there. We had a blast walking around and seeing all the rooms and trying to figure out where the furniture would go. Looking out our windows at our back yard and dreaming of a pool and grass to play in. When we were upstairs, we went to bedroom #4 and I told the Little Guy that it is a spare bedroom for now and BJ said, "well, if we have a baby it will be in this room". And I said, "yeah, stupid nursery" under my breath. Then the Little Guy wanted to know why he only had 1 window and the baby gets 2 windows. How cute is that? Sibling rivalry when there isn't even a sibling. We explained that his room is about 10 inches bigger and he seemed fine with that. Whew, crisis averted. Although, BJ did tell him that he could choose once everything is done. He still said he wanted the other room. Then BJ said that he'd rather the baby's room be the playroom (closer to the master) until I reminded him how small the playroom is and that I would have a monitor anyway so it didn't matter how far away the nursery was. It's wishful thinking but we just can't help it. We want it so bad. That room is going to haunt me every time I go in it. It SHOULD be the nursery as soon as we move in. My IVF SHOULD have worked. I know I harp on it a lot but it's on my mind a lot and I'm allowed because it's my blog and my rules. (Ok, temper tantrum over). BJ even asked me if his Lyme Disease medicine would mess up his swimmers and make them not good for getting me pregnant. Just the fact that he even thought of that lets me know that it's on his mind, too. Sometimes I wonder because he never really talks about it and just sort of seems non-chalant (I know that is spelled wrong) when my period starts. But he's a guy so I guess that's to be expected.
I'm still going to temp and I'm starting my opk's tomorrow. I'm hoping to get some BD'ing in tonight and then again (at least once) Thursday through Saturday. We have the Little Guy again this weekend. It's more difficult to do stuff after he goes to bed in this rental house as our bedroom shares a wall with his. If we wait until we are sure he's asleep we are too tired to muster the energy. Why does baby making have to be so complicated?
Monday, August 31, 2009
Ho Hum
I'm feeling a bit ho hum today. Not sure why...maybe it's the Monday Blues. I've been a long time sufferer of the Monday Blues. Mondays have always been a bone of contention with me. I have a really hard time sleeping Sunday night because of Monday anxiety. I've been this way since I was a kid. No real reason, just hate the "going back" feeling I guess.
I didn't order my test strips and pre.seed until this morning. I picked free shipping so it might not all get here in time for this cycle, but since I'm temping I'll at least know if/when I ovulate. I wake up so many times during the night that I don't know if my temps are accurate, but it's all I have to go on since I'm not being invaded by the camera wand anymore.
BJ and I had a nice time when we went out this weekend. We went Saturday instead of Friday. His old hang out was not the same and we stayed for just one drink and a game of pool. A game at which I really suck at but enjoy playing anyway...most of the time. We then went to a restaurant/bar closer to home and had a good time because it was Karaoke night! Yay! I love listening to other people sing, even if they aren't any good. They usually pick songs that I know and sometimes even like. So I get to sit on my bar stool and sing along and feel pretty good about myself. I'm pretty sure I'm tone deaf but I LOVE singing anyway. BJ actually ran into the son of the owner of his old hangout. It was a nice evening. We then proceeded to go home and partake in some buzzed up physical fun. Well, he didn't really have a buzz because he was the driver, but I was pretty lit up. :-) Why does alcohol make things so much more fun?
One bit of good news is that when I went to see my doctor for my follow-up to the famed ER visit I was weighed. Yes, I said "good" news. I am only about 1 or 2 pounds heavier than when I was weighed last which was in early April. Hot damn! I was certain I had gained almost 10 pounds with the whole IVF thing. Not so. I'm still going to try and take off a few pounds and tone up my troubled flabby areas. That in itself will take me months. I'd like to lose 8 pounds but I know that is not possible while still eating meals with BJ and the Little Guy on the weekend. I do good during the week but the weekend kills all my efforts. I hate having to think so much about what I eat and how much. But I was not born to be one of those kind of gals that just gets to eat whatever and never worry about where the pounds and flab are packing on.
I'm on CD 8 today which means, according to history, that I will most likely ovulate Friday or Saturday of this week. Hope I get my pee stick opk's by then. And of course, the Little Guy is with us this weekend so the BD'ing won't be as easy to plan or execute. I will make the best of it somehow. I want to at least feel like I have a shot this cycle. Although, the more I think about it and ponder it, the more I think I have bad eggs and who is to say that I will ovulate a good egg or even an egg at all? I hate this back and forth I play with myself over whether or not I even want to keep trying knowing that out of 5 follicles I only had 2 (supposedly) good eggs that fertilized correctly. Makes me want to ask my OB/GYN for a prescription of Clomid. At least I know that I respond well and will have a good chance at a mature egg. I'm not scheduled to see her again until February. Maybe I'll give her a call. Probably not. I'm just so ho hum about the whole thing sometimes. I go from being really excited to be really hopeless about it. I'm moving forward and that is a good thing.
I didn't order my test strips and pre.seed until this morning. I picked free shipping so it might not all get here in time for this cycle, but since I'm temping I'll at least know if/when I ovulate. I wake up so many times during the night that I don't know if my temps are accurate, but it's all I have to go on since I'm not being invaded by the camera wand anymore.
BJ and I had a nice time when we went out this weekend. We went Saturday instead of Friday. His old hang out was not the same and we stayed for just one drink and a game of pool. A game at which I really suck at but enjoy playing anyway...most of the time. We then went to a restaurant/bar closer to home and had a good time because it was Karaoke night! Yay! I love listening to other people sing, even if they aren't any good. They usually pick songs that I know and sometimes even like. So I get to sit on my bar stool and sing along and feel pretty good about myself. I'm pretty sure I'm tone deaf but I LOVE singing anyway. BJ actually ran into the son of the owner of his old hangout. It was a nice evening. We then proceeded to go home and partake in some buzzed up physical fun. Well, he didn't really have a buzz because he was the driver, but I was pretty lit up. :-) Why does alcohol make things so much more fun?
One bit of good news is that when I went to see my doctor for my follow-up to the famed ER visit I was weighed. Yes, I said "good" news. I am only about 1 or 2 pounds heavier than when I was weighed last which was in early April. Hot damn! I was certain I had gained almost 10 pounds with the whole IVF thing. Not so. I'm still going to try and take off a few pounds and tone up my troubled flabby areas. That in itself will take me months. I'd like to lose 8 pounds but I know that is not possible while still eating meals with BJ and the Little Guy on the weekend. I do good during the week but the weekend kills all my efforts. I hate having to think so much about what I eat and how much. But I was not born to be one of those kind of gals that just gets to eat whatever and never worry about where the pounds and flab are packing on.
I'm on CD 8 today which means, according to history, that I will most likely ovulate Friday or Saturday of this week. Hope I get my pee stick opk's by then. And of course, the Little Guy is with us this weekend so the BD'ing won't be as easy to plan or execute. I will make the best of it somehow. I want to at least feel like I have a shot this cycle. Although, the more I think about it and ponder it, the more I think I have bad eggs and who is to say that I will ovulate a good egg or even an egg at all? I hate this back and forth I play with myself over whether or not I even want to keep trying knowing that out of 5 follicles I only had 2 (supposedly) good eggs that fertilized correctly. Makes me want to ask my OB/GYN for a prescription of Clomid. At least I know that I respond well and will have a good chance at a mature egg. I'm not scheduled to see her again until February. Maybe I'll give her a call. Probably not. I'm just so ho hum about the whole thing sometimes. I go from being really excited to be really hopeless about it. I'm moving forward and that is a good thing.
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