From this morning, with the brand name test that states it can give you a positive up to 6 days before your missed period.
Me - what do you see?
Him - a blue line
Me - what do you see in the other window?
Him - a light blue line...what does that mean?
Me - I don't know
So I had to explain that 2 lines is positive and only 1 line is negative. I also told him that it was a cheap test and he said that he would be like me and not believe it until I took a good test. He asked me how dark the line should be and I said that it doesn't really matter, as long as it's there. He wasn't convinced and neither was I.
I had 2 dreams last night about getting 2 lines. Each time I woke up I was more and more convinced that as soon as I peed, the window would be blank and it would all be over. I woke up at 5:30 unable to sleep any longer. I got out of bed at 6:15 because I had to pee and I knew that I had to get this over with. So I peed and was scared to turn the test over. Then I saw the line and I started to lightly cry. I want this to be real but I don't know how to accept it. I see how light the line is and I panic that it's not real. I know too much. I know words like "chemical pregnancy", "blighted ovum", "miscarriage". I'm scared but happy...confused and afraid to take this for what it might actually be. I can't even type or say the P word when referring to myself.
BJ woke up after I got back in bed and asked me if I peed.
Me - yes
Him - and?
I reached over to the nightstand and showed him the test. Keep in mind, he's blind without his contacts. He squinted to see it.
Him - that 2nd line wasn't there before you peed?
Me - no, it was blank...and this is the good test. but I still don't believe it.
Him - what is it supposed to look like?
I put the test really close to his face so he could see the gray writing that explains what the results should look like.
Him - well, that's good.
Me - yeah, I'm not scheduled for blood work until Wednesday...I'm going to go insane before then.
So that's pretty much it. I now have a 2nd pink line. I'm still not sure what to make of it. I'm too scared to admit that it's real for fear it won't be there tomorrow morning.