Thursday, August 12, 2010

Appointment Tonight

Thank you all for your kind words, regarding my busted cycle and my poor kitty. To answer a few questions...I thought she had a hairball stuck but I figure that the radio graphs (x-rays) would have shown that. Plus, the doctor never mentioned that she thought it might be a hairball. I bought her some Pepcid and forced it down her throat. I'm a mean momma, for sure. I bought her a small can of fancy feast and she ate almost the whole thing. I was sneaky and put one of her pills in the food and she ate it. She is still hiding. She is not drinking. I called and made her an appointment for 6:00 tonight. She is still doing the "chicken neck" movement and that is the only thing making me believe that something is wrong with her. I mean, Gizmo has been around for a month and it's a little late for a behavioral issue, don't you think? I hope I get some answers. She actually growled at me this morning when I had to give her the medicine because she wouldn't finish the food I put on the plate for her. Oh yeah, and her eyes were leaking some gunk. Lovely.

Another question was whether or not I will pursue more testing. If we had the money for more treatments, I would be going after the testing like crazy. My insurance will only cover diagnostics, not treatment. And since we don't have the money I have just resolved myself to being bitter about the whole thing. I have given myself until my 35th birthday to conceive a child. If I don't, then I have to pack it in. BJ is 4 years older than me and he has already expressed his intentions to be done "soon". I would like to call off the trying in my own way and on my own terms...especially since nothing along this journey has really been my way or my terms. If it had, I would have a baby (or more) by now. I do not judge others for seeking motherhood well into their 40's. It's just not something I'm prepared to do. The Little Guy will be 10 next year and it just seems like the playmate years are gone. For me, there has to be a stopping point. It has to be realistic and I am nothing if not realistic. I know what this means for me, setting this date, and I'm slowly getting closer to accepting it. It won't be easy, but I've been through some really tough shit in my life so I know I can handle it. However, this is something I see coming, most of the other stuff was a surprise. We'll see how I do when the time comes.

Thank you all again for your kind words and support. You are great and I love reading each and every one of your comments.

5 comments:

Mel. said...

I hope you figure out what's going on with your poor sweet kitty!!

Alex said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about when to stop trying. I think it's very healthy to have an end game in mind.

Good luck with your kitty tonight!

someday-soon said...

Hope your poor kitty is feeling much better!

Fran said...

I must have missed your other post but I meant to say that Patches used to do the same with his neck when his viral infection flared up! He had nothing stuck in his throat but it was a swelling of the windpipes which made him unwell. In his case anti-inflammatory worked like a treat!

On setting a date I was never able. I needed a fall back plan for sure but just couldn't think of say "I'll do this just once". I admire you for being so grounded. You are in my thoughts, Fran

gracieinbrooklyn said...

Just catching up on some blog reading & thought I'd stop by to say hello. I'm so sorry that you've had so much stress of late. I don't know what we'd do without the unconditional love of our pets, so here's hoping that all four-legged creatures are on the mend. I'm really hoping that the universe took note of your other doctor's prediction (prayer?) and that your deadline is moot. Seriously.