I'm going nuts here. I'm getting giddy'er and giddy'er (and I know that's not even a word) every time I go to the bathroom and see NOTHING on the tp.
I have an angel on my right shoulder telling me to stay calm and not get my hopes up. She is also telling me that it's only CD29 and that I have had cycles in the not so distant past that were 30 or 31 days. She told me that even though my temp was high this morning that it was probably caused by the fact that I woke up very early and then had a hard time going back to sleep. She is trying to protect me.
On my left shoulder is the troll. He's telling me to look at my chart and get my hopes way up. He's telling me that I'm not as bloated as usual. My boobs are still hurting. He's reminding me that there could be a chance. He's telling me to go out at lunch and buy a test for tomorrow morning. He wants to crush me and watch me suffer.
He's just mean. And I know that I should be listening to the Angel. She's right...right? But that damn troll keeps piping up and over riding her. Because I know as soon as I spend the money on the test AF will show up. Or as soon as I open the test and sit to pee, she'll be there in my underwear...mocking me. Or better yet, she'll wait until I wipe after I pee on the stupid stick.
Deep breaths...deep breaths. What will be will be. That's so corny, but it's the truth. No matter what I do, I will have an answer very soon. And I think I'd rather wait for a dropped temp or some spotting than torture myself with POAS. So I will save my money and just wait. I will test Friday if I still have high temps and no spotting. That should give everything enough time to happen.
Can someone please swat the troll off my shoulder? I need to let the protective Angel have the final say. And I need to calm down. I literally don't know what to do with myself. I don't know why I'm getting all worked up over this. I'm only on CD29. It's not like I'm on day 35 of a cycle.