Thursday, December 17, 2009

Singing the Blues

After yesterday's sighting of some (very hard to come by these days) EWCM, I tested twice with an opk. Both were negative. They were so negative in fact that the second line was barely visible. That led me to believe that I had at least another day. And since I figured that I had another day, I didn't do any seducing. Not to mention the fact that BJ decided to stop off at the dealership after work to look around and ended up trading his truck in so he didn't even get home until after 8:00, and then we made dinner, and then we had to eat dinner and then we had to shower (no bubble bath for me again)...we were so wiped out after all of that that there was no way either of us was in the mood for any hanky panky.

I tested again this morning and wouldn't you know that the stupid thing was positive? There won't be any hanky'ing around tonight either as we have the Little Guy with us and we have basketball clinic until just after 8:00. I guess I should hang this TTC thing up until January when hopefully things will settle back down into some sort of normal. Whatever that is.

I'm bummed out about this for a couple reasons. The first of which is that I'm getting ready to ovulate (probably today or tonight) and I KNOW that we won't be doing what we need to be doing. The second problem is that I will be ovulating EXTREMELY early again. Today is only CD8 for crying out loud. If it holds off until tomorrow that will still only be CD9. There is no way that the egg would be mature. What is going on with my body? Did my IVF screw it up that badly? Have I lowered my chances of conceiving even more (as if that's possible)? I really don't know what to do about this. And of course, I'm not temping this cycle so I don't have that t0 go on either. ACK! I want to cough up this hairball known as infertility already! But it just sits in my throat, choking me...letting me breath and hope just enough to get by without fully suffocating. I'm sorry, I'm just really frustrated right now. I used to have a great cycle and now I have a crap cycle that makes no sense and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.

And to top things off, our phone line is messed up. Found out about it after work when I tried to call home and it went straight to voicemail. My handsets all say "line in use". WTF? Called the phone company (for about the 8th time) so they could test the line and they say it's fine. Well, it was fine Tuesday but not so much on Wednesday. They say they don't know what the problem is. Thanks for nothing Ver.izon.

One good thing is that the satellite guy is at our house right now so at least we will be able to watch a little TV tonight. There is something to be thankful for on this day.


Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Argh, sorry your cycle is not cooperating! It's definitely possible you'll get the high reading on the fertility monitor for a few more days. Any chance to get a quickie in after Little Guy goes to bed tomorrow?

As for your early O, I have a feeling that you're actually at baseline a few days before AF starts. I have the opposite problem where I'm usually at baseline a few days after AF starts. Even though doctors use AF as the easy CD1, it's not always the case. I can't remember, but I think maybe your insurance covers bloodwork? If so, I might ask your RE or OBGYN if you could do several checks of b/w next cycle to see if you're actually O'ing when you think you are. And, of course, as you mention, there's always the trusty BBT.

Hope you enjoyed some shows tonight! We were too tired after going out for margaritas (my between ER and ET treat) so we DVRed CSI to watch tomorrow night. Yay - a show for Friday night! ;)

Anonymous said...

Lara had some great points about the b/w! It might be worth it to find out what's going on.

Glad you were able to get a little TV watching in :).

TeeJay said...

Thank you ladies. Doing the b/w sounds like a good idea. I will need to check into that. I never thought of having an early baseline since I'm an early o'er.

Unfortunately, the schedule did not allow for any quickies and of course I started feeling O pains early this morning. Another miss.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, such a bummer. Having never experienced EGCM I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to get it and be able to do nothing about it!