Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Hi everyone.  We went to the pumpkin patch on Saturday afternoon.  It was further from our house than we realized but not a bad drive at all.  It was a really nice place.  It was decorated and laid out well.  My only complaint is that the petting zoo was pretty lame because they had all the animals fenced.  If the animal didn't come to you, you didn't get to pet it.  Needless to say I didn't pet anything.  The place we went last year had a big open area where you could feed and pet the animals in a more natural environment.  We survived the corn maze, too!  It was fun to walk around semi-lost with 4 kids on a beautiful day.  We did the easier of the 2 mazes and it worked out fine.  The boys had a blast rolling and jumping around in the hay boxes.  As happy and as grateful as I am to have the Little Guy in my life, I so yearn for a little one of my own.  It's events like these that reinforce my childlessness.  Yes, I'm a step-mother and yes I get to do things that other Infertiles do not because of that fact.  However, I still want my own child to yell out...."Mommy!  I found the perfect pumpkin!"  Or "Mommy, can I get my face painted...pleeeaaase?".  Instead, I have a child that calls me by my first name.  That in and of itself stings.  No, I don't ever expect him to call me "mom" but having a child that I love like my own address me by my name....well it sucks.  I hope I get to be called the royal name of Mommy someday.  Until then, I will continue to thank God for bringing BJ and the Little Guy into my life.  I really did have a good time at the farm, but infertility always has a way of sneaking into everything.

I'm 9DPO today.  I had another temp spike (98.7!!) on Saturday (6DPO) but things have settled back down to a more regular 98.2 the last few days.  I feel a little weepy and I'm not sure why.  I heard a song on the radio and it almost made me cry.  That doesn't usually happen.  Maybe that's a good sign?  I'm going to go with it for now.  I sent an e-mail to a place that will do a saliva test to test my hormones (thanks Sarah!) throughout my cycle.  I'm waiting to hear back from them.  I'm willing to try different things to figure out why I'm not getting pregnant.  I figured this is a good place to start.

I got my hair cut at lunch today.  It really needs color, too, but I passed on that for now.  I told BJ that I feel pretty now that my hair has been cut.  I used a gift certificate that I received at Christmas and it's a good thing.  This place charges $85 for a shampoo, cut and blow dry.  Unreal.  Yes, my hair looks good, but it used to look good when I paid $20 for a cut.  I so wish my stylist hadn't moved away.  I went to her for about 7 years for cut and color.  I've never been 100% satisfied with anyone else.  It's been about a year since I've seen her and I think I've only gotten my hair cut three times and colored twice.  Ugh.  No wonder it felt so good to get it done today.  My mission is to find someone I like that doesn't charge an arm and a leg.  Good luck to me.


Alex said...

Oh I hope this cycle is the one for you!!!

And that you'll have someone to call you Mommy - it's the little things, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Whew, that is expensive for a cut! I go to a trendy salon in a trendy part of B-more, but still only pay $50 (not including tips of course). A good hair cut can make you feel like a million bucks, though!

Hmm, temp spikes? Weepiness? I would say, yes that's a good sign :). I'm hoping for you! As I say a lot, you just never know!

Esperanza said...

I think the way you feel about the Little Guy and being called Mommy are totally understandable. I think anyone would feel that way. And while I'm sure some days having him around makes things a little easier, I'm sure just as much of time it makes it harder.

I hope that temp spike means something awesome!

someday-soon said...

Happy you had a good time at the pumpkin patch. You're so strong for going to all these fun activities with the little guy and being there for him. I know it has to be really hard. Hooray for a nice haircut, it can always make a girl feel fantastic! I'm thinking good thoughts for you, hopefully that temp spike is a great sign =)

Krissi said...

Good luck with this cycle! And way to go on the hair cut! And don't worry about the money! You're worth it! Happy ICLW! #72 & 106