Monday, February 27, 2012

Holy Completed Match, Batman!

I posted on Friday morning that we had chosen our donor Thursday afternoon. I ran to a couple of meetings and was having a pretty busy day overall. When I checked my e-mail at around Noon, I had a message from my coordinator that our match was COMPLETE! Wow! I hadn’t even had time to call my financial coordinator to put our deposit down. I called BJ immediately and told him the news. I was in shock at how fast another person snatched up our donor. I’m so glad we pulled the trigger when we did. I was on the phone as soon as I hung up with BJ to get the financial side straight and to figure out our next steps.


I read the e-mail a couple of times before I noticed a very important piece of information. We are the primary recipients for this donor!! Do you know what that means? That means that I am not 2nd in line as I thought since we picked her 2nd. It also means that we are not 3rd in line with a much higher risk of getting cancelled off the cycle due to an unexpectedly low amount of good quality embryos. When I had my initial financial consult I asked how it worked if there weren’t enough to go around and was told that people are put in line and that there is a 20-22% chance that the 3rd person in line could end up with nothing to transfer. I was told that your place in line was determined by what procedures you had already been though. Basically, if you have tried everything you would be placed higher than someone that has maybe only failed one IVF. This didn’t really click with me until I read it in the confirmation e-mail on Friday. I guess there has to be a way to determine this but it all seems so strange...to determine who is more worthy by what they have suffered through...glad I don’t have to make those choices. I was so worried that I would be third in line...it’s how things usually go with me. Not this time!!

I was advised to call my nurse when my period started. Wouldn’t you know that I was already taking my “reminder” pills in my pack? My period showed up yesterday! I called my nurse this morning and she is going to touch base with the other recipients and the donor this week to figure out where everyone is in their cycles and she said she’d get back to me by the end of the week. She was just as surprised at how fast this all came together as I am.

On a side note...this is a conversation that BJ and I had Saturday morning:

BJ – I forgot to tell you that “LG” saw your vitamins. (My prenatals are in the pantry because they came in a huge box and I have nowhere else to put them. I had them hidden behind a can of soup but I guess it got moved.)
Me – eyes bulge out of head
BJ – he asked me what these pregnancy things were for...Is TeeJay pregnant? I told him no but that he knows that we’re still trying.
Me – jaw hits the floor
BJ – then he says to me, “You know, I like being the only kid”.
Me – heart sinking
BJ – I told him that it probably won’t be like that and he shrugged and said “yeah, I know”.

Ouch. I’ve always wondered how he would feel about me having a baby. He’s very good with little kids but he’s never had to share any of his parents with another child. He’s a really good boy, but he’s also pretty self-centered and spoiled. It’s not his fault...he’s the only child and he’s the step-child of an IF. Of course he gets doted on and spoiled and gets all the attention. I just hope that if we get to bring a baby home that he won’t resent it in any way. He will have to be informed that we are not getting the pool he wants so badly because of (hopefully) a baby on the way. I’m sure that won’t go over very well, either. I know he will love the baby but I still have the fear of the resentment factor. I’m sure all parents think about that when they are trying to have another child. I’m hoping that the huge age gap will not make things worse. I think toddlers and younger children adapt better to babies than older kids. I don’t know, maybe that’s not the case at all. I sure hope we get to find out, though. I can’t wait to take pictures of the two of them together and hear the LG talk about his brother or sister to other people. I hope we get to live that life. Fingers crossed.

8 comments:

Mo and Will said...

This is GREAT news!!! BJ will be ok - there are so many benefits to having a sib. He'll find that out hopefully soon enough!!

Mo

someday-soon said...

WOW, what wonderful news! It's all coming together like it was meant to be =)

LG will have an adjustment period, that's for sure. But with a sibling comes a lot of perks too. He'll learn to be a little more patient, giving, etc. during his childhood and that will pay off in relationships, the workplace and pretty much everything as an adult. Plus a sibling is someone who can be family long after all his parents are gone. So don't feel like it's a selfish thing to do. It really will be great for him.

newbie said...

Congrats on getting matched with a donor!! I'm thrilled for you that this was so quick...

Rebecca said...

I think he'll come around when he finds out he has someone to boss around.

I'm so excited for you. Um, scary thought...what if you end up with twins? There is another blogger that I follow that used donor eggs and is due to deliver her twins boys in 7 days!

Alex said...

Congratulations! I'm so excited for you! And LG will be just fine, I'm sure. Every older sibling goes through an adjustment period, but I think it will be good for him!

Pie said...

Wow, this is awesome! So fast - I've been MIA for a few days and whooosh! I'm so happy for you TeeJay!

And the LG will be fine - it might be a good thing for him overall to have a sibling - although he may not agree at first!! I bet he'll be a great big brother.

Leslie said...

I am so excited to your news that you are matched!! I think LG will do just great as a big brother. There will always be an adjustment period but then it will be great!!! I can not wait to hear more!

Fran said...

This is sooooooooo meant to be!! And LG will adjust no problem I'm sure!
Love, Fran