I posted on Friday morning that we had chosen our donor Thursday afternoon. I ran to a couple of meetings and was having a pretty busy day overall. When I checked my e-mail at around Noon, I had a message from my coordinator that our match was COMPLETE! Wow! I hadn’t even had time to call my financial coordinator to put our deposit down. I called BJ immediately and told him the news. I was in shock at how fast another person snatched up our donor. I’m so glad we pulled the trigger when we did. I was on the phone as soon as I hung up with BJ to get the financial side straight and to figure out our next steps.
I read the e-mail a couple of times before I noticed a very important piece of information. We are the primary recipients for this donor!! Do you know what that means? That means that I am not 2nd in line as I thought since we picked her 2nd. It also means that we are not 3rd in line with a much higher risk of getting cancelled off the cycle due to an unexpectedly low amount of good quality embryos. When I had my initial financial consult I asked how it worked if there weren’t enough to go around and was told that people are put in line and that there is a 20-22% chance that the 3rd person in line could end up with nothing to transfer. I was told that your place in line was determined by what procedures you had already been though. Basically, if you have tried everything you would be placed higher than someone that has maybe only failed one IVF. This didn’t really click with me until I read it in the confirmation e-mail on Friday. I guess there has to be a way to determine this but it all seems so strange...to determine who is more worthy by what they have suffered through...glad I don’t have to make those choices. I was so worried that I would be third in line...it’s how things usually go with me. Not this time!!
I was advised to call my nurse when my period started. Wouldn’t you know that I was already taking my “reminder” pills in my pack? My period showed up yesterday! I called my nurse this morning and she is going to touch base with the other recipients and the donor this week to figure out where everyone is in their cycles and she said she’d get back to me by the end of the week. She was just as surprised at how fast this all came together as I am.
On a side note...this is a conversation that BJ and I had Saturday morning:
BJ – I forgot to tell you that “LG” saw your vitamins. (My prenatals are in the pantry because they came in a huge box and I have nowhere else to put them. I had them hidden behind a can of soup but I guess it got moved.)
Me – eyes bulge out of head
BJ – he asked me what these pregnancy things were for...Is TeeJay pregnant? I told him no but that he knows that we’re still trying.
Me – jaw hits the floor
BJ – then he says to me, “You know, I like being the only kid”.
Me – heart sinking
BJ – I told him that it probably won’t be like that and he shrugged and said “yeah, I know”.
Ouch. I’ve always wondered how he would feel about me having a baby. He’s very good with little kids but he’s never had to share any of his parents with another child. He’s a really good boy, but he’s also pretty self-centered and spoiled. It’s not his fault...he’s the only child and he’s the step-child of an IF. Of course he gets doted on and spoiled and gets all the attention. I just hope that if we get to bring a baby home that he won’t resent it in any way. He will have to be informed that we are not getting the pool he wants so badly because of (hopefully) a baby on the way. I’m sure that won’t go over very well, either. I know he will love the baby but I still have the fear of the resentment factor. I’m sure all parents think about that when they are trying to have another child. I’m hoping that the huge age gap will not make things worse. I think toddlers and younger children adapt better to babies than older kids. I don’t know, maybe that’s not the case at all. I sure hope we get to find out, though. I can’t wait to take pictures of the two of them together and hear the LG talk about his brother or sister to other people. I hope we get to live that life. Fingers crossed.