It really is unbelievable how much loss some people are expected to endure. I’m not even sure who expects the endurance but someone/something really lays a lot on some folks.
I’m sure everyone has read about the tragedy that is happening to Mo of Mommy Odyssey right now. If you have a moment, please pop on over to her blog and offer whatever support you can to her and her family right now. What they are going through really is unbelievable. When I first read about it I was dumfounded. I had to re-read it over and over to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.
Mo and I have found comfort in each other. I’ve sent her numerous “crazy lady” e-mails and she has always managed to bring me back to sanity and helped level my emotions. We send words of encouragement to each other through our Words with Friends game that we play. She’s a very lovely woman. She’s suffered great losses over the last 2 years or so. She is now in the throes of yet another tragedy. Something I don’t think anyone saw coming or could have predicted. Her pregnancy has not been an easy one, however, it was progressing fairly well and that to even contemplate a problem of this nature was unthinkable, at least to me.
I’m so pissed off. I’m so fucking mad that this has happened to her. I hate the bad things that can come in and take over. IF sucks enough on its own and ruins enough lives...why make it worse? Why let a mother see her child on an ultrasound and feel him kicking and wriggling around and then pull the rug out from under her and take him away? It makes no fucking sense and I’m still having a hard time believing it. I know it’s true, I read it with my own eyes...several times. I just don’t GET it. I know none of us do. There’s no explanation. There’s no reason. We have to sit idly by and watch this woman suffer an unimaginable loss. My heart is broken for her. I don’t know how she will go on. I don’t know how she could be expected to go on. The thing is, she will be expected to go on. She will be expected to endure this loss and carry on with her life. I know that life goes on. I’ve moved on from some of my own tough losses when I thought I couldn’t. Nothing compares to what Mo is going through right now but I know a little about life changing loss. Most people don’t understand. Most people just pat you on the back and say things like “well, everything happens for a reason.” I say fuck that. Sometimes things just happen and there is no damned reason behind it. Sorry, can you tell I’m very angry right now?
I’m also so very sad for my friend. She didn’t deserve this. She deserves to bring her baby boy home alive and well. She deserves to put her anxiety to rest when she holds her baby and kisses his forehead and his little fingers and toes. My heart breaks because all of that was taken from her. And to make it worse, I’ve been telling her to try and relax and enjoy her pregnancy and not let the fear take over the joy. What a fail that was on my part. I guess no one is ever really safe in their pregnancy until that baby comes out healthy. I wish I could hold her hand and hug her and rock her while she cries. I wish I could give her strength to get through this. She needs help. She needs support. She’s half a world away from me and all I can do is send her an e-mail. I feel so helpless.
Please pray (or whatever your preference may be) for Mo and her husband. Please send them strength and courage to get through this. They are probably feeling hopeless, helpless and full of despair...all things that are perfectly normal right now. They need to know that we are all here for them in their time of need and that we really, truly care for them.
Thanks for letting me rant and vent.