Thursday, June 7, 2012

Telling the News

There are many differing opinions regarding when and to whom to share the news of a pregnancy. In the normal, fertile world I don’t know that keeping a pregnancy a secret until you hit 12 weeks is the norm or not. I know many people that have spilled the beans a lot sooner without a second thought. That is all fine and good in their world. My world, the Infertile world, is a little different…at least in my opinion.

I was sure that as soon as I saw a heartbeat I would want to share the news with the people closest to us. Then I had the bleeding scare. And then I thought about all the blogs I have read over the years where women have lost babies at 7, 8, 9 and as late as 12 weeks. That does not count the other losses even later than that due to other complications. It’s very scary. I know that if I lose this baby (please don’t let that happen) I will be devastated. I really did not want to inflict any pain on anyone else that might love this baby, too. Given all of that, I decided that I wanted to wait until I was at least 10 weeks before telling those people closest to us. People like the Little Guy, BJ’s sister, my parents. My husband had a different plan.

He cannot keep a secret to save his life. As soon as he knows something he has to call me or text me or come running in the house to tell me. It’s crazy. So he decided to tell the Little Guy about the baby as long as everything went well at our u/s. I told him that I wasn’t sure about this but was over ruled so I had to think fast and think of a way to make it memorable. After a 2 ½ hour commute home and a terrible experience at KFC picking up dinner, I finally made it home. I was exhausted to say the least. So we ate dinner and the LG went to clean up. I asked BJ if we were still telling him and he confirmed that we were. I asked him if he had thought about a cool way to tell him but he had just planned on blurting it out. I said, “No way. I’ve waited way too long for this moment to just blurt it out. Let me tell him.” So the LG came back to the kitchen and we were standing around the table. BJ told him we had something to talk to him about. Then I started…

Me – In January…you are…going to be…a big brother

LG – Really?

Me – Yep

LG – Cool

BJ – She’s trying to tell you that she’s pregnant

LG – I figured….cool. When did you find out?

Me – On my birthday

LG – That’s cool

BJ – It’s still pretty early, and sometimes miscarriages happen but we’re really hoping that it won’t.

Me – We saw the heartbeat today…here’s the picture

LG – That’s it? (pointing at the spec on the u/s picture) Cool.

BJ – You can tell your mom if you want. We haven’t told anyone else but you yet.

LG – Cool

And then he was off to play video games. Not the cute, creative way I would have liked, but he seemed good with it. There’s more to this story and I’ll get there in a minute.

The next day was his baseball game and his mom came with her new boyfriend (which I really need to write about), her dad and her boyfriend’s daughter. We didn’t sit together this time, thank goodness so I didn’t really talk to her at all. We learned that they had plans to go to the amusement park the next day and so we figured that the LG might be too preoccupied to say anything to his mom. We also weren’t sure if he’d say anything in front of the new boyfriend. After the game we were driving home and BJ’s text alert played. It was her. She was congratulating him. She thinks it’s awesome that the LG will have a half brother or sister. I then told BJ that we could not wait to tell his sister until we saw her in person because she and the LG’s mother are FB friends. We called my SIL the next day and put her on speaker phone. She was playing video games with her kids. I shouted out that we are having a baby. She freaked out. It was such a great reaction. She told the kids to play for her because she had to go. She kept saying things like “are you kidding?” “you’re joking, right?” She was so happy for us. Then she asked if it was “natural”. I told her that we had help but that everything looked good so far. We talked for a while and I promised to keep her updated on everything.

That Monday, the LG’s mom sent me an e-mail to congratulate me and tell me how excited he was to tell her. She said that his butt had hardly hit the seat of the truck before the news came flying out of his mouth. I was so touched. He has made a couple of comments over the years about how he likes being the only kid so I was worried that he’d be upset. I think he’s old enough now to where we won’t have any jealousy issues. He’ll make a great big brother, I’m sure of it.

So that’s how the telling went so far. I’m probably going to wait until after Tuesday to tell my parents. If everything still looks really good then I may go ahead and spill the beans to them. I’m not 100% sure yet. Of course, BJ can’t wait until I give him the all clear to make his FB announcement. I will not be doing that but he wants to so I guess he will. That kind of announcement will just have to wait a few more weeks.

In other news…I received a folder in the mail from the clinic. They congratulated me on my pregnancy and provided a slew of helpful information regarding how to stave off nausea and some things that are ok for pregnancy and some things that are not. They also gave me a form to give my OB and a form to fill out and send back to them after delivery. After delivery? I’m only 7 weeks and they sent me a form for after delivery? Wow…It’s almost like I’m a regular pregnant lady. I like it. It scares me, but I like it. They also want me to stop my PIO shots tomorrow and switch over to Endometrin. I’m to continue my Delestrogen until 6/27 and at that point I can stop all medications. Double wow.

I will admit, I’m a bit nervous. I was doing ok because I was starting to feel a little nausea here and there so I was comfortable knowing that everything was going ok. However, I haven’t had any nausea today and there haven’t been any smells that have made me gag today. I’m sure it’s just one of those things that just comes and goes, but it still makes me nervous. I have to wait until Tuesday to see my little bean again and it’s going to be a long wait. Fingers crossed and prayers said that everything is still going good in there.


Alex said...

"It's almost like I'm a regular pregnant lady." Well sweetie, you are. YOU'RE PREGNANT!!! Woohoo - I'm so excited for you guys, and that you're getting to do all these things - just like a regular pregnant lady... :)

I love that you are telling people that are close to you. Yes, there are people who don't do this, but I think it's great that you are having these wonderful celebratory moments with the people who care for you - and this little baby. And God forbid, if anything were to happen, it's also good to have support from the people who love you. When I had a miscarriage, it really helped to have the close people in my life support and love me throughout it, I can't imagine not having told them.

I'm so happy for you, and I look forward to lots of updates of this fabulous pregnancy. My nausea came and went throughout my first trimester, even with the pregnancy that gave me my little girl. Doesn't mean a thing - just means you're a lucky girl to not be sick every day! :)

someday-soon said...

SO fun!!! You are a regular pregnant lady, get use to it =) My symptoms came and went too...frustrating but "normal" for whatever that means *LOL* Look forward to your update Tuesday...

Samantha said...

I'm another one who had pregnancy symptoms come and go.

Augusta said...

It is indeed really scary to tell. You almost feel like it's going to be the trigger to a m/c, as the Universe giggles in its corner. Except, that's not really how it works. Fact is, you are pregnant. And fact is, you have no control over whether or not the pregnancy will result in a live baby. At this point, it most likely will.

Congrats for being able to tell LG and others. His reaction was really wonderful.

I'm sure you are looking forward to your u/s on Tuesday. It will be good to see your little bean again.

Rebecca said...

I'm really hoping that this one sticks well. Good luck on how you plan on announcing it to the rest of the family and friends out there.

A said...

so excited for you, and i'm glad that you're getting so much support and excitement from people you have told!! praying everything continues happy and healthy for you and baby!!

EndoJourney said...

What a wonderful story! I'm so glad you got to share the news with a few people. I'm sure as you feel more and more comfortable with the pregnancy it will be so excited to share with more people! Congrats again!