Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Quick Update and Random Thoughts

There’s too much to write about so I’m just going to give a quick bulleted update. I will try to keep it short. :-)

• My shots are going well. Of course, the first one I administered hit a blood vessel and left me with a dime sized bruise on my belly. It’s actually almost gone, though, so all is well. No major side effects that I have noticed as of yet and that is always good.

• The weekend was good. I was off Friday and didn’t really have any plans but to get the stuff for the Easter baskets and then work on my scrapping. I actually did a lot of laundry, too. It was a good relaxed day. We went to the Bass Pro Shop on Saturday and the husband has decided that he wants a bass boat. That is another post all to itself and will need to be tackled another day. Since the LG was with his mother on Sunday, BJ and I cleaned out the garage. The weather was beautiful and we were able to clean and mostly organize the space. During the winter months the garage really suffers so cleaning it up felt really good.

• Work is busy and I’m not enjoying any of it. I’m not happy with my job right now or my current boss or some of my co-workers. If you’ve been following me for a year or more you know that I have a new boss. I don’t like him. He’s so different from anyone I’ve ever known so it’s really difficult to find our stride. He won’t ever change so I know I just have to deal with it but the situation is stressing me out.

• I’m coming up on some important dates and it’s starting to bring me down. My first ever BFP anniversary is only a few weeks away...as is the anniversary of my first (and hopefully only) loss. I should be on maternity leave right now and I think that might be part of the reason I dislike my job and boss right now.

• The blogosphere has been filled with some really high highs and some really low lows lately. As I read through the happy mom posts I get excited and start to think about what it would be like to be writing posts like that. When I read the pregnancy blogs I also hope to be writing my own posts regarding morning sickness and beta numbers. And then I read the sad blogs. The one where a mother had to say good-bye to her child before it was born. And the one where the mother just went in for her 12 week scan only to find out that her little one’s heart had stopped beating just a couple of days ago. It breaks my heart and makes me worry about something like that happening to us. I mean, just because we have struggled for so long does not mean that we will be successful with our DE cycle(s). It’s scary.

• The weather has been so warm and then we had a cold snap and now I’m afraid my roses may not bloom. They have buds all over them but they haven’t begun to open yet. I have 5 beautiful rose bushes and judging by the size and the number of buds, once they open, our yard will be the prettiest on the cul de sac. I just hope the cold nights have not damaged them. We haven’t gotten frost, but it’s been in the 30’s a few times. I’ve noticed that the warm weather caused the Tulips to bloom early and they are already losing their petals. Crazy weather, I tell ya.

• I got an Easter card from my mom. She called me a while back and I told her that I’d send her a calling card with cell minutes on it so that she could keep in contact with her kids. So far, so good. I’ve gotten a couple of text messages and a phone call and now the card. She’s working at a motel as the cleaner in exchange for a room. I’m ok with that. As long as her deadbeat significant other does not mess it up for her like he did last time everything will be ok. I don’t know if she has contacted my other siblings or not but that’s not my problem. As much as they try to make it my problem.

• I have been looking at my cycle calendar at least once a day if not more. And judging by the dates they gave me, my donor will be starting her injections on 4/21. I always started my stims on CD3. If that holds true for her then her CD1 will be 4/19...my mother’s birthday. Odd timing to say the least. That means that the donor will be starting stims NEXT weekend! Yay!! All of this assuming she passes her second and final FDA blood panel on 4/16.

• I’m going in for my Lupron evaluation on Friday morning. I’m hoping for nice quiet ovaries which shouldn’t be a problem given my history. And I’m hoping for normal blood work. I’m also hoping that the other recipients are still on track with everything. That’s one of the biggest worries I have. I worry that one of them will have something go wrong and we’ll have to scrap the whole thing. IF has jaded me, that’s for sure. I’m always certain that something bad will happen. I’ve read and seen too much to think otherwise. I’ve always been on the wrong side of the fertility statistics so why should now be any different? I’m hoping that it’s very different...very different indeed.

So that’s a quick rundown of what’s in my head and what’s been going on recently. There’s much more but I don’t seem to have the time right now to write about it. My boss will be on vacation next week so I’m hoping to have more time to get some good posts up. I have some things I need to get off my chest and you guys get to be my sounding board. Lucky you!


Alex said...

So glad to hear your shots are going well and you have no side effects! I'm so excited for this cycle for you, and I have everything crossed that you'll be filling up this blog with tons of happy prego and later mom posts!

Augusta said...

I'm glad that your injections are going well (asside from that first one). Everything seems to be on track and I hope they stay that way. I'm sorry that there are such sad anniversaries coming up for you. It's hard to hold both the sadness of grief and the excitement of the upcoming DE cycle at the same time. I think though, that you will find a way to honour all of your experiences and feelings.

p.s. april 19 is also my birthday. I'll be sending good thoughts to you and your lovely donor.

Leslie said...

I am so glad to hear everything is going well! I have done that too where I have hit a blood vessel & had a bruise. No fun but I am glad it is almost gone!! I am glad you had a nice weekend. I am right there with you about not enjoying my job! I am so sorry! I hope things continue well and am looking forward to more updates & hopefully the best news at the end of the cycle!! Thinking of you!

Rebecca said...

Hoping everything goes well on your next scan and the donor's next blood panel. Good luck!

someday-soon said...

Happy everything is going well so far. Hope your ovaries are nice and quiet on Friday. Sorry work is not enjoyable right now...is your boss crappy or just not as good as the one that left (and that you loved)? Also sorry about the upcoming anniversaries...so hard to take {{{HUGS}}} Maybe you could plan something fun for those days so that you will be celebrating instead of reflecting?

EC said...

Glad things are going well!!! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!