Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Big Baby Store, Maternity Shopping and...Belly Touching?

My husband was very anxious to start looking at baby furniture and gear after our 6 week appointment went well.  Once I graduated to a regular OB it was really hard to hold him back but he even said that he didn’t want to jinx anything.  Well, a few days before our first OB appointment we took the plunge and drove up to Babies R Us.  I had some anxiety, I won’t lie.  It has been about 8 or so years since I stepped foot in that store.   On this day however, it was different.  When we walked in I sort of slowed down and just took a deep breath and scanned the entire store.  It was a bit overwhelming.  I sort of felt like I didn’t belong there, especially when I saw other women with babies and big bellies and such.  We walked over to the stroller section and it felt like I was watching someone else search around.  BJ pulled a couple of strollers down for us to try out and as I was pushing one down the aisle, BJ said, “I know you can’t wait until there’s an actual baby in there.”  We tried several strollers and car seat systems and found 2 that we really liked.  Then we tried to collapse them and open them and figure out all the little handles and knobs.  What amateurs we were.  It would have been obvious to anyone walking by that we are newbies.  It’s been 11 years since BJ worried about strollers and they have changed so much since then.  I haven’t operated a stroller for about 10 years so it was basically all new to me, too.  Then we looked at pack and plays and swings and high chairs and found some that we liked so BJ took some pictures of the tags so we could remember them and do some research.  The furniture section was next.  Man…cribs are so much nicer now!  They are real furniture that you can use for years to come.  The prices reflect that, too.  We walked around and around and around.  We narrowed our search to 2 different sets.  I’m really hoping my parents send us some money or offer to buy at least the crib because we are looking at close to $800 for a crib and dresser.  Ouch.  We browsed some of the other sections and then we headed out.  It felt really good to look at all the stuff but it was still very hard to imagine that we are going to actually need some of that stuff.  I told BJ that I hope we weren’t too cocky and confident doing all of that before our first OB appointment.  As it turns out, we weren’t.  You can’t actually jinx your pregnancy by looking at baby stuff.  Who knew?

I went maternity shopping this past weekend.  Much to my delight, BJ and the Little Guy came with me.  I had mentioned to BJ how I was a bit sad that I was going alone and didn’t have my mom or my step-mom or a grandmother to go with me so I think he felt bad for me.  The first department store’s selection sucked.  I really had to root through their stuff to find 2 pairs of pants and a pair of capri jeans that would fit me.  When I put the first pair on…oh my goodness…I was overcome with pure comfort.  I think everyone should be wearing maternity pants.  I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed that my belly was just hanging out in all its glory and it felt so good to let it do that.  I hadn’t realized how tight my other pants had gotten.  I don’t have a very big bump yet and most people would probably assume I am just a bit chunky in the mid-section.  Let them assume what they want.  My belly is out and happy!  The next department store had an even worse selection so I told BJ that I had to hit the maternity store.  It was like walking into pregnant lady heaven.  The thing that got me so excited?  They had petites!  I’m only 5’2’’ so I need pants with shorter legs so that I don’t have to take everything to get hemmed (I don’t sew) and so that the pants actually fit the way they should.  The Little Guy found it amusing at how happy I was in this store.  I ended up with 2 pairs of pants, a pair of jeans and 2 shirts (one picked out by BJ that I would NEVER have picked for myself but he liked it so I figured what the hell?)  I want to wear these pants all.the.time.  Seriously, they are so damn comfortable.  Although, I’m folding the panel over right now because I don’t really need it to come all the way up to the bottom of the girls, you know?  I’ll get more shirts later as the ones I have now will hopefully last me another month or so until the Fall lines come out.  I don’t want to buy Summer and Fall shirts if I don’t have to.  I’m hoping the Fall selection will include things I can wear during the Winter, too.

After that wonderful shopping spree we had to attend our niece’s 5th birthday party.  I wrote a little about the party in my last post.  I did not mention this part because it needed its own bit of a post.  My SIL’s mother in law is a wonderfully sweet woman.  We’ve had them over to our house a couple of times and even had them over for Thanksgiving.  We really like them.  I’m going to call the MIL Bonnie.  This is the first time I have seen her since she found out about our little one.  My SIL asked if I could add Bonnie to the e-mail updates that I send out so I did.  She loved the pictures, of course.  As soon as she saw me at the party she came over and gave me a big hug.  It was very sweet.  And then she did what I was not prepared for…she reached down and patted my stomach.  My pudgy-but-starting-to-show stomach.  As she was doing so, she said, “Oh, I know I’m not supposed to do this but I just can’t help it, I’m just so happy for you.”  Yikes.  I just smiled because what else could I do?  She didn’t actually touch where the baby is, she touched up under my breasts but still…talk about awkward.  I know it’s to be expected later in pregnancy, but this early?  Sheesh.  And then later, as I was holding the baby of another IF lady (they tried for 8 years and then had some sort of medical help to get pg) she came by and said, “wow, married 5 years and finally going to have a baby…it’s so wonderful.”  And then then I said, “well, if you count the time I tried with my first husband, we’re looking at about 10 years!”  And the other IF lady said, “we tried for 8 years for this one.”  And then Bonnie said, “well, sometimes when you try too hard…blah, blah, blah.”  I just smiled and nodded.  What I wanted to say was “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS TRYING TOO HARD.  IF YOUR BODY IS MESSED UP IT’S MESSE UP.  SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GET MEDICAL HELP BECAUSE “RELAXING” JUST DOESN’T GET THE JOB DONE.”  But I didn’t say any of those things because she has no idea what we’ve been through and it was not worth trying to explain that relaxing does not work for everyone.  And she meant well so I just let it go with a smile and a nod.

So there you have it…my trip to the baby store, my first experience with maternity shopping and my frightful belly touching incident.  I survived them all and came out the other side just fine!


Rebecca said...

Sounds like it was actually pretty fun shopping. Furniture is frightfully expensive and I just have no clue why they need to gouge us so with their prices.

EndoJourney said...

It makes me so happy to hear about how gracefully you're embracing this pregnancy! I love this for you! :) The belly touching is my biggest pet peeve. Who cares if there's a baby in there it's still the mother's stomach! Gah! Way to go on holding your tongue with her. I don't think I could have done the same. :)

Anonymous said...

How exciting!! As for the MIL 'trying too hard' what a load of crap! How can you possibly have too much sex, so much it can hinder a pregnancy!? poor clueless ones!!

Augusta said...

the trip to the baby store sounds surreal. I'm looking forward to reading about your experience of going back later on in your pregnancy.
Glad you found some nice, comfortable maternity clothes, and that the experience turned out to be fun.
And what can I say about the Bonnie encounter. She sounds like many of the older women in my life that I love but that are so ignorant about IF. They mean well, but they would do better to keep their words (and hands!!!) to themselves. Sounds like you handled it really well.

Liddy said...

I am only on my 1st 2WW, yet E (the hubby) and I have talked about belly touching. I am so adamantly against it (I hate being touched), while E believes it is okay. In fact, once he told me that it is way for people to feel the next generation. By far the DUMBEST comment I ever heard. If this 2WW is successful, I am going to get a shirt that says, "No you can not touch my belly."

And people know that belly touching is not okay. WHY DO THEY STILL DO IT?

An ICLW Visit from #63
liddy @ the unfair struggle (mfi, speedskating, 1st 2ww)

EC said...

I can only imagine how surreal it all feels! I agree that the belly touching is strange - especially at this point. I can see why people might feel the urge down the road, when you're REALLY showing, but now? It's so annoying that people think they're such a thing as trying too hard - how is that even possible???

Anonymous said...

Wow I haven't visited your blog in a loooong time. And what great news to hear - 13 weeks preggers! That is really fantastic news.

The first time I went intoa baby store to shop for our babies I actually just turned around and walked out, I was just too overwhelmed by it all.

And let me tell you that now a Mom to gorgeous 8 month old twins, it just keeps getting better. Enjoy your pregnancy and all the planning and buying ahead.

Anonymous said...

Wow I haven't visited your blog in a loooong time. And what great news to hear - 13 weeks preggers! That is really fantastic news.

The first time I went intoa baby store to shop for our babies I actually just turned around and walked out, I was just too overwhelmed by it all.

And let me tell you that now a Mom to gorgeous 8 month old twins, it just keeps getting better. Enjoy your pregnancy and all the planning and buying ahead.

someday-soon said...

Big baby stores were tough for me too...I don't think I went in one until my 3rd trimester =) I used Amazon for a registry and it worked well but there's something to be said for seeing the 1 million baby items in person *LOL* Happy you got some comfy clothes...they rock in my opinion =) One piece of advice is to plan on having 2T clothes and 3T clothes - you will need to do another round of shopping. I had no idea. The touching is odd for sure, luckily it didn't happen often to me. Hopefully this will be one of the only times you have to endure it too. Fertiles think that the moment we're knocked up IF ceases to exists - it's SO frustrating.

Kelly said...

I always felt like a fraud in baby stores! Matenity clothes rock though! Congratulations!!

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