Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Road Ahead

I’m on CD25 right now. My last cycle was 25 days, a little short for me but not too strange. I continuously have 25-27 day cycles and a 15-16 day luteal phase. According to my FF chart and my ovulation pain, I’m 13DPO today. Most likely, AF will be here Saturday or Sunday. Our appointment is Tuesday. That would probably be CD 3 or 4. How cool would it be if I could get on suppression drugs right now and jump right in instead of having to wait? We don’t have to give them any money until we reserve a donor and pulling a check from my 401k only takes a few days...I could have it ready and waiting. I know it will probably not work like that but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

My lovely bloggy buddy, Mo, over at Mommy Odyssey shared a link with me today to another blog that brought tears to my eyes. It doesn’t take much these days since I’m hormonal due to the impending arrival of AF, but still, it was very moving. If you or anyone you know is struggling with how to share the news of donor egg conception with their child, this is a great way.

I’m hoping right along with all of you that this really will work for us. There are still so many variables that are unknown. Look how long it took us to find out that my eggs are crap. I feel pretty confident that this road will lead to a child but I’m trying not to count my chickens before they are hatched. Ha ha, pun intended...even though that’s pretty corny.

I’ve been thinking about what (if anything) to tell our families. Well, really just BJ’s family. I might have to bring my dad into this because we may need to borrow a tiny bit of the fee from him. I also just want to be up front with him about what we are going through. I will admit that I’m a little scared at his and my step-mom’s reaction. They don’t fully understand the science of donor conception (or IVF for that matter) and I hope they won’t have an issue with a child not being biologically related to them. I think they are pretty open minded and they definitely understand my desires so hopefully it will go over well. As far as BJ’s family goes, I’m thinking that we will only tell them that we did IVF again (if it works). I don’t think it will be a big deal but I don’t want anyone from his sister’s husband’s family to know. I would like to keep some things private and I think that’s ok. Plus, the child will be biologically related to BJ so it will still be a link in that family chain. My SIL is very sweet but she can be very insensitive (unknowingly) sometimes when it has come to my infertility. The last thing I want is for her to cringe at the idea of “another woman’s baby” being inside me or making some remark to that effect, you know? Not that she would, but you just never know. I have no idea what to tell the LG. I mean, he’s almost 11 so they will be learning all about eggs and sperm in school either this year or next year. And again, the child will be biologically related to him so it should be fine, right? I feel that he has a right to know as much as the child does...right?

As for the 3 non-family people (my old boss and 2 co-workers) that know of our loss from before I think I will tell them that we did IVF again, too. No harm in that.

I registered on a DE forum so that I could post some of my questions but then I chickened out and decided not to post anything. I need to make a list of questions to ask Dr. M next week because I know my mind will go blank when we get in there. One major question I have is about the medications I will be taking. Is the Lupron the same as in an IVF cycle? I know the dosage would be different and it wouldn’t be mixed with stimulants but I need to know if my insurance will cover it. They covered the Lupron for my IVFs so I’m hoping it’s the same medication...although I’ve hear people call it depot Lupron so I’m worried that it’s not the same. Do any of you know?

The road ahead is full of questions and unknowns, isn’t it? This process will be a whole new education for us, that is for sure. My husband actually asked me the craziest question the other night, and no, I’m not making this up...we were talking about his swimmers mixing with another woman’s eggs and I told him that he was cheating on me. Just joking around of course. And then he says, “That doesn’t happen internally, does it?” Oh my. I had to chuckle at that. I then explained that it happens in a dish, just like it did with our IVFs and that no, they do not put his sperm in another woman and then take out the fertilized egg. He trips me out sometimes. Hopefully you got a kick out of that, too.

Less than a week, people!!!


Rebecca said...

I read that story on Keiko's page a while back and it got me thinking back then about donor eggs. Now it looks like it will be our only option after this IVF to expand our family. I'm all for it.

Hope you are soon "knocked up".

Pie said...

Lupron and depot lupron are 2 totally different drugs. Well, they are sort of the same, but for your cycling purposes - they are totally different. You will most likely be on regular lupron, which is a sub-cutaneous injection in your belly fat. You'll likely be on a once/day or maybe 2/day for a few weeks. It suppresses ovulation. It tends to be covered by insurances, and is not too expensive out of pocket.

DL is a once/month intramuscular injection (read:in the ass ouch) that is generally used to treat a specific uterine lining defect. DL basically puts you into menopause (no estrogen and no fun). Tends not to be covered by insurance, and is pricey.

And LOL at your hubby! Gotta love it! :)

someday-soon said...

I don't think you need to tell anyone about DE that you don't feel like telling. You will be carrying your baby, end of story. Of course I don't think there's anything wrong with telling everyone either if you feel ok with that. In other words, totally your call =) Don't feel one iota of guilt either way! Love your funny =)