Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The New Plan

My wheels began to turn the minute BJ said he wanted to move forward with DE. The main thing stopping us has been money. We were going to get a pool this year (it’s been on hold for 2 years) for the family to enjoy. It was a guaranteed expense with a guaranteed outcome and years of enjoyment. The whole reason we needed a house with a big back yard was for the pool. The LG wants one like no tomorrow. He talks about it often, as do the rest of us. So when BJ said that we would scrap the pool it was a very big deal in our house. Of course the LG is not yet aware that he will not be getting a pool. On the off chance that we do not get a baby out of this, we get our money back and will put it towards a pool.


The decision was made to move forward with the shared risk program at our clinic. We pay a fee and we get 6 fresh and any frozen cycles until we take home a baby. If we do not take a baby home (not even going there) then we get our money back. Now, to come up with a plan to get the money.

The majority of the money will come from my 401k. In order to be able to pay the loan back (because I only get 5 years to do so) I will have to stop contributing. Not the wisest financial move but like my husband said, a baby is more important than my 401k right now. We will take a small amount from our savings account, a small amount from my credit union account (ok it will wipe that account out) and hopefully the rest will come from our tax refund. If it ends up not being enough then I will have to humble myself and ask my dad for any remaining funds that are needed.

I called the clinic the very next morning to tell them our plan. We can’t move forward until we have a meeting with Dr. M. That meeting will take place on January 31. I also put myself on the waiting list in case he has a cancellation. They gave me a temporary password to look through the data pool of potential donors. I found one I loved. I wrote her file number down so I could show BJ that evening. Wouldn’t you know she was already taken by the time I got home? Wow. And can I tell you how strange it was to be looking at these baby pictures and reading all of these traits about these women? More on that another time.

That is where we stand right now. I’m waiting, not so patiently, for the 31st. I’m also freaking out that they will find some way of telling us that we don’t qualify for the shared risk program. The ONLY way we can do this and the ONE stipulation that BJ gave was that we had to have a guarantee this time. I don’t blame him. I can’t throw more money away on hope anymore.

9 comments:

someday-soon said...

I am keeping everything crossed that your appointment on the 31st goes fantastically. Money is money...it will come and go. There will be time for a pool later. The time for a baby is now =)

This crazy life of mine... said...

I am SO excited about your new plan. You are taking that next step that we would never be able to do, financially. I am so happy for you and think you are so very deserving of this. I will anxiously await your updates and will be cheering you on every step of the way.

Jem said...

Having a solid plan is such a great first step. Oh, and a baby is WAY better than a pool.

Pie said...

WOW TeeJay!! This is so exciting! I think it sounds like a great plan, and I cant wait til the 31st either!!!

mommyodyssey said...

I know it's not ideal, but this is absolutely fantastic. I'm so excited for you! Yaaaaay!!!

Rebecca said...

I'm really hoping that this will work for you. We've thought about doing this as our next step since I'm not getting any younger. Good luck! I'm excited at the possibilities for you.

Infertile Days said...

have to agree with everyone else - baby is way better than a pool!
good luck with your appt. i hope they let you do the shared risk.

suchagoodegg said...

A plan is soooooooooooooooo wonderful. I am exploding with joy for you with this new development!!!!!!!!!! Cannot WAIT to hear the next steps after your appt on the 31st. xoxoxoxo

newbie said...

Hi, I just found your blog and I was very moved by your story. I am also so excited that you have found a way to do Donor Eggs - hopefully this will be your path to bringing home a baby of your own! I will be following you and cheering you on!