6DPO - Barely 1/2 Way There

I am all of 6dpo today. Today is only Tuesday. It feels like today should be at least 10dpo. *sigh*

I'm a little down in the dumps and I have no real reason to be. I think this is one of my depression times. Although, this doesn't usually happen until I'm much closer to AF. I'm trying to be more upbeat but all I want to do is just sleep and sloth around. I think some of this has to do with the fact that we went almost a week without seeing the sun. And it rained...a lot. Plus, the time changed. Add that to the fact that the trees are all dying and it just sucks the goodness out of my mood.

Halloween was good. We took the Little Guy to a neighborhood we like and met up with my SIL and her family. The niece was adorable as a puppy. She didn't feel good and was running a fever (we now know she has the flu) but she couldn't have been more content. The rain held off until about 8:00 so we got a good hour and a half in before we had to pack up. Next year I think the Little Guy's mother is going to want him so we have come up with a plan. Since we will be at our new house, we are going to decorate like crazy, dress up, scare kids and hand out candy. There should be plenty of houses built in there by that time with lots of kids to come by. It will be very hard NOT to be with the Little Guy because we have gone with him every year...oh well, we have to share.

I don't know if I've mentioned this to anyone on here, but I love to scrapbook. I've been doing it for just over a year and I love it. I go to crops (scrapbooking events with tables and door prizes and other scrappers that are usually all day events) when I can. I haven't done many since the Spring because we had to get the old house on the market and then once it sold it has become a saving money time. I went to one on 10/18 and now I'm jonesing for another one. I signed up for a retreat in January. Three full days of nothing but working on albums/pages. I can't wait. I even took a vacation day to participate. Normally, girls stay over at whatever hotel it is being held at, however, since it is only 5 minutes from where I will be living, I will just drive up there each day. It saves money and this way I can have dinner with BJ and the Little Guy each evening. Also, my dad offered to buy me the Cricut for my b-day in May. I didn't have a place for it at the old house so I took a rain check. I couldn't stand it anymore so I bought it from e-bay and it was delivered last week. I love it! I need to get better at using it because I can't seem to figure out a good way to get the little letters off the mat without tearing them. I still have no place for it at the rental, but I just had to have it in my possession. I will post pictures of my work eventually. It was my SIL that got me hooked on this....so I blame her. :-)

Looking at the calendar and going by my past, I figure I will know for sure whether or not we were successful this month by next Tuesday or Wednesday. AF is scheduled to arrive Thursday. I hate this part of the 2ww...it's the part where I start to think about what IF's?

What if...it worked?
What if...I get to tell BJ that we are pregnant?
What if...I get to tell my family (who would be on cloud 9) that they are going to have a grandchild?
What if...I get to start putting a nursery together in bedroom #4?
What if...I can finally buy all the cute little baby scrapbooking items that as of right now I just avert my eyes from?

Then I get mad at myself for even thinking such foolish thoughts. Why would this month be any different than any other month? I'll tell you why...because we timed things right and we actually have a SHOT this time. Aside from whatever has kept me from getting pregnant in the past when things were timed just right. I hate getting my hopes up and then kicking myself for getting my hopes up and then getting disappointed anyway when my period starts.

Why is this so damn hard? Sorry, I'm a bit all over the place today. I think I might be coming down with something because my temp was 98.9 this morning...and that's very high for me. I feel a bit warm right now but I also have leggins on under my pants. Not sure if I have a fever or just too many layers of clothes on. Hopefully I'm not getting sick...

6DPO - It's the Little Things

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. Been busy at work and the last thing I want to do is sit behind a computer at home these days.

I have to tell a story about how happy I was Friday.

We met up with BJ's sister and her family (2 boys aged 8 and 6 and a girl aged 15 months) to go to the fair. We went back to her house to hang out for a while. The niece and I sat on the couch for about 30 minutes playing with a set of cookie toys. One side of the cookie had a shape and it snapped together with the other side with the matching shape. We went through them 3 times. Every time she got it right, I cheered and we high fived. She would ask for help when she couldn't get the pieces together...although she picked the right ones 99% of the time. After that, I could tell she was sleepy and it was just about her nap time. I asked her if she was ready to take a nap and she said yes. She picked up her blanket and asked for her "pass" (pacifier) and I picked her up. I asked my SIL if it was ok if I put her down and she said that it was and that they usually read her 2 books before she goes down for a nap. I carried her to her room and I picked 2 books and we sat in the rocker/glider in her room. She made me put my feet up on the glider part, just like mommy does. I read her the 2 books and laid her down in her crib. She curled up and went to sleep. I found out that she doesn't let her dad put her to bed and I kind of felt bad. I'm guessing that it's a "girl" thing. We don't spend a lot of time together and she's usually pretty shy at first until she warms up to us. She had NO problems letting me put her to bed and that made me feel really good. It also made me wish she was mine...but I usually wish that all the little toddlers and babies are mine.

When she woke up, I asked my SIL if I could get her and she agreed. I really expected her to be a crying mess and not want me after she woke up. Most babies in my experience want their parent when they first wake up. However, I went in and I picked her up and she laid her head on my shoulder and quieted right down. It was such a nice and peaceful moment...one that I will cherish for a very long time.

THEN...later we decided to try and get her to dance as she likes to do. The radio was turned on and it was a song I know pretty well so I started singing and bee bopping. She copied everything I did. She even tried to move her mouth like I was doing when I was singing. I asked her if she could snap her fingers and of course she had to try. It was amazing. We have never connected so well before. She was studying me so closely. The BIL even pointed out how she was copying everything I was doing.

Man I wish I could get pregnant and have a baby. I can't even begin to tell you how great I felt that day. I'm lucky to have her in my life to keep my eye on the prize.

I'm 6DPO and my temps are as crazy as this whole cycle has been. I'm going to post a link to my chart eventually. I really need to try to stop analyzing the data but it's kind of fun because I never know what I'm going to get from day to day. I'm not feeling any different than I do any other cycle, so we probably missed the boat. But I guess you never know.