Friday, January 14, 2011

Rolling Right Along

In keeping with my new outlook and my new (continued) desperation on expanding our family, I thought I'd tell you all what I did yesterday.

I called my clinic.  I asked about their Shared Risk IVF program, their Shared Risk Donor Egg program and their normal Donor Egg Program.  I even went as far as leaving a message for my RE's nurse.  The nurse I had been assigned to is no longer there.  Here's what I found out.

The shared risk IVF  is around $20,000.  This includes 6 fresh IVF cycles and any subsequent FETs.  If I do not take a baby home I get my money back.  We have already given them about $13,000 and that was for 2 IUI's and an IVF.  If I were not so sure that the treatments would have worked I would have scraped together another $7,000.  Hind sight and blind hope gets me nothing but a much smaller wallet.

The shared risk donor egg program varies in price.  They have this new program that lets people share their donor with as many as 2 other recipients.  I've never heard of that but thought it was a good idea.  The price scale for this is as follows:

1:1 (one donor, one recipient) $52,500
1:2 $37,000
1:3 $29,000

If there is no "take home" baby, they refund the money.  This also includes 6 fresh cycles and if you are lucky enough to have any embies left over (after sharing), FETs are included as well.

The regular donor program lets you share your donor as well.  Those prices are listed below:

1:1 $27,000
1:2 $16,000
1:3 $14,600

Any FETs would cost around $4,000.

Pretty steep on any level.  When talking to the receptionist I asked her if we would have to go through all the initial testing again or if we could jump right in.  She said that since it's been over 12 months that we would have to repeat all of our blood work and such as if we were new patients.  That stinks but I understand why they do it that way.  Things can change very suddenly sometimes.

I didn't tell BJ any of this yet.  I'm trying to get a clearer picture of my own feelings before I approach him with this.  He's going to want to know where the money is going to come from.  I was thinking that if we go for the shared risk IVF that we would charge half and take the other half out of my 401k.  Not exactly the wisest financial decision but what part of TTC with ART is?  The money has to come from somewhere and since I don't have a money tree in my backyard I have to get creative.  Also, we can't take out a home equity loan because the market is still not that great in our area and I doubt we have gained that much equity (if any at all) in the short amount of time we have lived in our house.  I will probably let my dad know of our plans (if any plans get made) and maybe he will offer to help.  I won't ask him to help because I just can't do that.

I'm not sure what direction we are going to go but I think BJ is starting to realize that me "just hoping for the best" (his words) isn't working for me.  I feel like I need a clear direction to go in.  I'm sort of wandering right now.  I can feel myself being tugged into action.  Not sure which action just yet, but action nonetheless.

Let's get this ball rolling...I want to be a mom.


someday-soon said...

Just as a comparison point the prices at your clinic are a little cheaper than the averages in my area. We paid for the shared risk program and while you're right that it's not the best thing to take money from a 401k I don't think you'll regret it. Good luck with your talk with BJ!

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Wow! I'm sorry I've been so horrible at commenting lately, but I couldn't resist on this one. It's such a change of heart and, like Caryn, I don't think you'll regret it for a second. Those prices, unbelievably, are actually decent for 6 cycles. As for using your 401k -- I took a loan out of mine 10 years ago to help my mom buy a house, her first house ever, after struggling to support my 2 sisters and I for 25 years with barely any help. Yes, probably not the wisest financial decision ever, but I do not regret it for a second. And neither will you.

I'm excited to follow wherever this change of heart will bring you!

callmemama said...

I think it's great to have a plan of action...and more than one plan is even better. Lots of choices is a good thing :).

Alex said...

I'm so proud of you for researching your options. A loan out of your 401K isn't too bad, in my opinion. At least for that, you're paying yourself the interest, as opposed to a charge card. Good luck in your conversation with BJ!

gracieinbrooklyn said...

That is a lot to think about! I've found that sometimes just doing the research can feel like progress forward. Very big decision though (financially) but risks are part of achieving dreams right? I realize that my financial brain is out of whack after 8 years in New York, but those prices are actually pretty "reasonable" To put it in perspective, one (non-shared risk) cycle at our current clinic is around $17,000 (all in, drugs and all). We've got one more insurance-covered cycle, thankfully, and lots of money tied up in flex spending to cover stuff. Thinking about you -

Pie said...

Wow TeeJay, this is big! Especially coming from you, because I know you set your deadline, and I know you've thought about stopping going down the IVF road. I have to say it makes me happy to know you still have this hope in you - that is what I see it as - hope. You are doing the smart thing, weighing all of your options. The shared risk and donor sharing sound very interesting. Good luck talking to BJ about all of this!