Thursday, January 17, 2013

39 Weeks!

Again, I need to apologize for being so absent.  I feel a little overwhelmed with all I want to write and I think that has kept me away.  Not really a good excuse, but that's what I'm going with.  Thank you to those that have prodded me with's nice to know that you are still out there and still interested in reading my updates.  There's so much going on but for now I will just write a pregnancy update and then see where that takes me.  Here's where we stand:

As of my 38 week appointment there had been no progress.  I had been having some braxton hicks contractions on and off and some extra pressure in my abdomen.  I was hopeful for at least a cm or 2.  No such luck.  Plus, at my 37 week appointment I was measuring 36 weeks, no big deal...then at my 38 week appointment I had jumped up to 39 weeks!  No wonder I was feeling more pressure.  Baby Girl had gone through quite a growth spurt.  I told my doctor that I could not physically do my commute anymore.  I told her that I commute to DC (almost 2 hours each way) and that the bus was killing me.  She wrote me a note to get me out of work and I was so relieved.  She told me to walk, walk, walk and walk some more to get things going.  So of course the weather turns cold and rainy as soon as I'm home to take those walks.  Figures.  I walk around the house and I rock on my big exercise ball that I got for Christmas (which I need to write about, too) and I try to stay mobile and busy.  I have started feeling stronger contractions.  I knew these were different because they started in my lower abdomen like menstrual cramps and then my belly would get hard.  One morning I almost started timing them because they were coming fast and furious.  Then they stopped.  I figured it was the start of something good and that at the next appointment things would be moving along.  Not so much.  I hadn't seen any signs of a mucous plug and the contractions were few and far between.  I'm big, uncomfortable and having arguments with myself.  Things like:

me - I just want to go into labor and have this baby and meet her and love her
me2 - don't wish your pregnancy's the only one you are every going to get to experience
me - you are right, but I can't sleep and I ache and I'm ready for her to be here
me2 - yes, but once she's here, you won't feel her moving around in your belly anymore...and you'll be even more tired
me - you're right again...I love having her with me all the time and feeling her move and rubbing my belly.

It's a hard problem to have, right?  I must sound so shallow.  But really, I am not wishing the pregnancy away, I just want to feel better.  I've had it really easy but these last few weeks have been pretty hard on me.  I wasn't expecting to be so uncomfortable.  I do not look forward to getting into bed at night.  Yes, I look forward to sleeping but my bed is my enemy right now.  I have pillows everywhere and can't really find a comfortable way to sleep.  Cry me a river.  Can I just tell you how cool it is to "complain" about the last weeks of pregnancy?  Especially since I have no real complaints other than mobility and sleep.

Backing up a little, we were sent for a sonogram on 12/31 to check Baby Girl's weight.  I didn't expect to see her again until I saw her in person so I was really excited.  BJ came with me and we were just amazed at how big she has gotten since our 20 week scan.  She looks like the Little Guy to me but BJ said he doesn't see it.  She has hair and chubby little cheeks and weighed in around 5lbs, 13oz.  We got a few good pictures of her and it's unbelievable how seeing those pictures made it even more real for me.  I have the huge belly, she moves all the time and our house is ready to bring a baby home any day now but I still have trouble believing that we are having a BABY.  I know it must sound crazy at this point but it's true.  Seeing her on that screen really brought it into perspective...there's a human baby, our baby, that will be joining us on the outside very soon.  It blows my mind that we are here.  Anyway...

I was really hoping for a little progress yesterday at my 39 week appointment but that was not to be.  My cervix is holding onto this baby like fort knox.  BJ said I shouldn't be surprised because I couldn't get pregnant on my own why would I think my body would cooperate come delivery time?  He's right and I told him that I was thinking the same thing.  My body didn't get this way on its own and it appears that it doesn't know how to let go of the pregnancy, either.  I keep telling myself that first babies are often late and many need help coming out.  I wasn't surprised that nothing was happening but I was a little disappointed.

My doctor wants another weight scan (yay!) on Tuesday and then to come see her Wednesday morning at 11:30.  If nothing is happening then I'm off to labor and delivery for some good old cervix ripening gel.  They will monitor me for 2 hours and if things start happening then we stay and have a baby.  If things don't happen after 2 hours then we go home and proceed with an induction the following week...I've already been placed on the waiting list.  Things felt extremely real after my appointment yesterday.  I'm now anxious and nervous and excited all at once.  I'm scared of labor, I'm scared of a c-section and I'm still scared that something could go really wrong.  It's a lot of emotions to experience at once.  Our due date is Thursday so the thought of having her the day before or exactly on that date is pretty awesome.  In the mean time I'm going to continue to walk around the house (because we are having lousy weather) and rocking on my exercise ball in the hopes that we won't need any intervention (yeah, right).

Oh, and we have a name but are not revealing it until she's born.  I learned early on that people are not afraid to express opinions when you throw out some names that you are considering.  And on the flip side, they get a bit offended if you don't love and pick the names they are giving you.  So we decided that once we picked a name it would be a secret.  It was the simplest solution to an issue that was becoming a stressful topic with people around us.  I bought wooden letters yesterday that we will be hanging on the wall in her room.

That's about all for now, I guess.  My wrist is tired of typing and I need to get up and get moving.  I will try to write more about the other things running around in my head very soon because once she's here I have a feeling I'll be even worse with if that is possible.  Thanks for sticking around and checking on me.  It really is nice to have all of you out there rooting for us and caring.


Jenny said...

You're almost there! So exciting!

I hear you on the name issue. We stupidly started telling people our name picks. Big mistake! The brutal honesty of their thoughts was a bit hard to take.

Anyway...good luck! I'm hoping that your next post is to tell us about your birth story. :)

someday-soon said...

Don't feel one big guilty about being done with pregnancy. I had a very easy first pregnancy but those last few weeks are tough. Sleeping is SO hard and everyone is busy telling you to get your rest now and all you can think is "yeah right". Give your body some credit, it sucked at getting pregnant but it's done great at growing your little girl. If it needs some help at the end it's ok, it's done the most important job well. And if you end up needing a c-section or something remember all that matters is a healthy mom and a healthy baby. Whatever gets you there is great. Sending lots of labor vibes and can't wait to hear about your little lady!!!

Rebecca said...

I've been wondering how you are doing. Can't wait to see baby photos next time you blog.

Esperanza said...

I was just wondering about you recently, wondering if you hadn't written in so long because baby girl came early. I'm glad everything is still going well, despite the discomfort. I hope she makes her way into the world soon. Thinking of you.

HopeBPatient said...

So exciting to hear that you are so close!!! Please don't worry over the possibility of a c-section. I had the most emergent c-section my OB said she had done in 5 years and I never have regret for my doc having got my baby girl out and for her to be so ridiculously healthy. And don't worry about complaining about the last weeks of pregnancy! It's hard! No matter what you went through to get there.

I'm so excited for you and can't wait to hear about the birth of your baby girl!

Pie said...

I LOVE to see you bitching about being huge and pregnant and uncomfortable! You've earned it, girl! Bitch away! Honestly, though, that is a good sign, the feeling uncomfortable, the argument with yourself about being ready to be done. That is what the end of pregnancy is. Everyone is scared at that point, but your body is smart, and makes you so uncomfortable that the idea of labor doesn't sound too bad. ha!

Ok you are allowed to be a bad blogger AFTER you post about having the sweet girl and her stats! Your readers (and specifically, I mean ME!) need to know. So just a quickie update, then you are off the hook.

Good luck and best wishes TeeJay. I'm so happy your big day is almost here! And keep bouncing :)

A said...

Totally rooting for you!!! Cannot wait until you meet your little girl :) If you need something to pass the time, I just nominated you for an award!

Victoria said...

Oh my, how very exciting!!! I've been following along anonymously for a couple of years now and feel like I know you! You're going to be a wonderful mama:)

Augusta said...

I'm sorry I took my sweet time to comment, but WOWSA! Your ticker says that there is 1 day to go. 1 day!!! For all I know, baby girl might be here. I am so very excited for you, Teejay.
I hope that all goes well during the birth and that your first days with little girl are magic.
warm hugs, dear woman. So looking forward to the birth announcement.

Jessah said...

Just found your blog! Congrats on your pregnancy and (almost) birth. As we embark on our 2nd attempt at IVF, I'm always glad to find blogs of people who've made it out the other side.

A said...

hey teejay! i've been thinking about you and praying that you are well :) i know it's busy with a newborn, but just wanted to say hi!