Got My Wish...Well, Not Really

She showed up last night about 8:00 or so. She's here. How I wish she weren't. I don't think I've ever gone that long after ovulation before my period started. Plus, my temp was still above the cover line yesterday morning...just barely, but it was still up. This morning of course it's back down to it's usual 97.7 range. I took some motrin this morning to help with cramps and my new symptom...leg pains. It took me about 6 or 8 months to realize that my knees and hips start to ache really bad when AF shows up or is a day away. I usually just attributed it to cold weather, standing or walking too much, things like that. But the last 3 cycles I have actually paid attention and now I know. She has found a new way to cause me pain. Dumb, mean bitch that she is. I'm bummed and so is BJ. He had the same thought I had the other day...wasn't I just on my period? And to top it off, remember the ex sil that is a baby making machine? Well, she's back up on FB. And of course I read through her whole page and everyone was congratulating her on baby number 8. Apparently her husband now has a job. She's about 18 weeks along so she'll be getting the gender scan soon. I was so down in the dumps after reading all of those posts yesterday. If I could just have a tenth of her fertility...

I guess I need to put the blahs behind me and focus on the one good thing of AF showing up. I had a 26 day cycle. Maybe this is the beginning of good things for me. Maybe this means that my body will be a little more predictable. I have to hang onto to something or I will just sit here and wallow and sink into utter sadness. That's not what I want to do and it doesn't accomplish anything good. I will take this as yet another learning experience along the way. As if 9 years of learning experiences wasn't enough.

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BJ and I decided not to go to Atlantic City. We will be making our first mortgage payment today and thought that it wouldn't be a good idea (even though the room is free) to be going to a casino right now. We are trying to find something fun to do for Valentine's Day, though. It's not a holiday that we normally "do" anything for. I usually get a nice card and maybe some yummy chocolates, but we don't make a big deal out of it. The main reason is because his dad died on V-day so it's not a day he likes to "celebrate". I totally understand that. But at the same time, he understands that it's sweethearts day and he still thinks of me so that makes me appreciate the little things he does even more. I still have not found the time to sit down and create his paper album of pictures yet. I'm going to have to close myself in the room this weekend for maybe an hour each day to work on it.

My SIL is still in the hospital. She's not getting worse, but she isn't getting any better either. They have maxed out on her steroids and her breathing treatments. And yesterday, her respiratory nurse suggested she request to see a pulmonologist. I didn't know she wasn't being treated by one of those. It's pretty bad when your nurse thinks you need additional help that your doctor hasn't mentioned. This hospital does not have a great reputation for the best of care. I tried to call her a few minutes ago and she was getting another chest x-ray so I don't know if the new doctor has been in yet to see her. I'm a little worried now. I was ok once I visited her the first time as I thought she looked good and seemed like she wasn't getting worse. But now that a new doctor has been called in makes me wonder what he will find with her lungs. It's very scary. I'm going to think positive thoughts until I know anything for sure. It would mean a lot to me if you would do the same.