Monitoring Updates

As I mentioned in a previous post, my nurse called me Friday afternoon to tell me that our donor would be starting stims on Saturday and would be coming in for her first monitoring appointment on Tuesday. She told me that she’d call me with the details.


As Tuesday afternoon arrived I started carrying my cell phone with me everywhere so as to not miss the call. And I do mean everywhere. I don’t put it in my pocket because I’d never feel it vibrate so I carry it in my hand. People must think I’m addicted to my phone. In a way, I guess I am.

I got busy at work and the call never came. I started to wonder if something was wrong. Did she not show up? Is she not responding? All sorts of scary thoughts were running through my head. As I was getting in bed, BJ told me that if something were wrong I would have received a phone call. It still did not sit well with me.

As soon as I got to work Wednesday, I e-mailed my nurse asking if everything was ok. She responded shortly with this message:

Hi TeeJay,


She was out of town yesterday (something I knew in advance) she will be in today. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you that. Nothing to worry about. I’ll update you this afternoon.


Thanks,
Nurse

Now tell me this...why would she tell me on Friday that the donor would be in on Tuesday if she knew the donor would be out of town? Ugh. Sometimes I wonder about my nurse. Ok, she was out of town, hopefully she remembered to take her meds with her. She’s 22 and I worry about her responsibility level. Her future children are not riding on her taking those shots like clockwork. I’m trying to have faith.

Wednesday afternoon I began carrying my phone around with me again as I awaited the phone call. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. The afternoon became very busy at work because I needed to leave early to get to the LG’s baseball game. As I was getting on the bus at 4:00 I checked my personal e-mail. My nurse sent me an e-mail 2 hours prior!! So much for a phone call. I will know now to just let the phone sit and check my e-mail in the afternoon.

The good news? She has 26 follicles. They are small right now but that is ok. She goes back in tomorrow for another check. I’m hoping for some good growth at that scan. I’m also going to ask what her E2 is to give me a better idea of the condition of the eggs in those follicles. I was very excited to get that update. Tomorrow will be 7 days on stims so I think there should be some good growth by this point. It’s hard to believe that retrieval will be next week! I get butterflies just thinking about it.

The other good news? I went in for my last lining check (hopefully forever) and I’m at 9.5mm. The tech said that at this point they like to see it above 8 so I’m doing good! One of the cysts is gone and the other is really tiny so she said it’s trying to go away, too. All good news!

Things are going along so nicely...I’m nervous. I have no reason to doubt anything right now but of course the negative nelly in me is trying to come out and ruin my mood. I think it’s because there are so many intricate parts to this donor cycle than in a regular IVF. I mean, the donor has to do her thing and us 3 recipients have to do our thing and everything has to come together like the perfect storm right up to retrieval. There are so many things that could go wrong. For the most part, I’m staying positive and concentrating on the fact that we will be making a baby next week and that I will be pupo early the following week (at the latest hopefully). How crazy is that to think about? I never thought I’d be pupo again and here it is just around the corner. Wow. I’m going to do my best to keep the negative thoughts at bay because there’s so much to be hopeful for, right? I’ve been looking over the calendar and thinking about how far along I should be at certain times because we have some plans this summer...crazy to be doing that but I can’t seem to help it. See, I’m hopeful...maybe too hopeful? I want to stay positive because I think it’s the best thing for my mindset right now. Plus, I was very positive and calm last year and I really think it helped my little emby try to stick around. So I want to keep my mood even and calm this time around and hopefully we’ll get better results.

I’ll update tomorrow afternoon once I hear from my nurse...fingers crossed for good sized follies and a matching E2 number.

PS – how about my Capitals?!?! They really pulled out a great overtime win last night against Boston! I DVR’d the game and watched the whole thing after we got home from the LG’s baseball game. So exciting to win a game 7 in overtime but I really wish they would have just wrapped it up in 6. I get so nervous watching them play. Yay for making it to the second round!! Could this really be our year??

Randoms

• Opening day of little league is Sunday!!  We have pictures tomorrow and then the first game on Sunday.  I can't wait.  They have missed 3 practices due to rain so I don't expect a lot out of them Sunday but I'm still so excited to watch.
• I'm sick to death of this weather.  We get 2 Spring days, a Summer day and then 3 Winter days...what the hell?  I'm tired of the clouds and the cold rain.  I really need Spring to get here...heck, at this point I'll jump right into Summer.  Bring on the heat!
• I'm worried about the trees in my area.  They had just begun to bud and then we had below freezing temps and snow for 3 nights in a row and now they look almost brown again.  I've been watching them like a hawk and I'm not liking what I'm seeing.  The younger trees are bright green and look great but the more mature trees look like they are heading back into Fall...not good.
• We are going to the Nursery tomorrow afternoon to take a look at the proposed landscape plan.  I'm looking very forward to seeing what he came up with.  We will do most of the work ourselves but having a plan put together by a knowledgeable professional will come in very handy indeed.
• My injections are going well.  The evening session of mixing and injecting 3 different substances is a bit time consuming but I'm getting it done.  I had a mishap this morning with my Gonal-F.  When I pulled the needle out a few drops of the medicine along with some blood came back out.  I freaked out a little but after those couple of drops nothing else came out.  I don't think it was enough to really concern myself with but still.  I had been doing so good and only had 2 bruises up until that happened.  Now I have a nasty new bruise.
• My tummy is sore to the touch.  This is new for me as I wasn't sore at all last time.  I find myself bending differently and pulling my pants down just slightly to ease the pressure.  I don't think I feel any ovary growth yet, as in my pants are not tight around my belly, it's just sore.
• I've been saying many prayers lately regarding my ovaries.  I've been praying to God daily that He is allowing this medicine to do good things with my follicles and eggs.  I'm keeping a very positive attitude and trusting that everything is working properly in there.
• I have my scan and blood work tomorrow morning at 8:30.  I'm glad these checks have been on the weekend so far, although it cuts into my morning snuggle time with my honey, it saves me from driving into work and taking a chance at being late.  If all goes according to plan, my ER will be on a Sunday and no one will have to take any time off for it.  Fingers crossed.
• I have not been deemed important enough by PETA for even their form letter, which is fine.  I don't need to get all riled up about it again.  Damn if they don't piss me off, though.  I've still been reading the responses others are getting and it's just so unfortunate that they just refuse to stop and THINK.  I think the animals they are trying to save have more brain power than the employees of that crazy organization.  Eff them.
• My moods are evening out nicely.  Other than my blowups at traffic, I've been pretty good.  I don't feel like crying at everything and BJ doesn't seem so annoying anymore.  :-)  I'm still very tired and I think the meds are backing me up, if you know what I mean.  I've only had 2 "meaningful" trips to the bathroom since starting the Lupron.  Aside from an OTC laxative and prune juice (which I hate) is there something I can do to help move things along?
• I'm thinking of taking the week of Spring Break off.  My new boss will be out all but one day that week and it will be during the time of ER and transfer (hopefully) and the Little Guy will be out of school and it could be a good chance for a "TeeJay and Little Guy Day".  We haven't had one in a while and he has asked me a couple of times when we were going to do that again.  We usually go to the movies or the mall and get lunch or a special treat.  The more I think about it the more I want to do it.
• As I'm typing this it feels like my ovaries are swimming a little bit.  I hope that means good things.  I also hope it's my ovaries and not my constipation causing the feeling as I have only been on the stims since Wednesday morning.  :-)

Whoa, Nelly!

I'm sitting here on the verge of tears.  I don't actually know what has me so upset.  Wait, I do know.  It's Nothing in Particular.  I injected myself with my Lupron this morning and then I added my Gonal-F...a dosage of 300.  I'm sure that the Gonal-F is already messing with my hormones.

I feel sad and down.  The complete opposite of what I have been feeling the last couple of days.  The last couple of days have been splendid...I'm thinking positive thoughts, I'm smiling, I'm daydreaming good things...all of it.  However today, I'm just down in the dumps.  The only thing I can come up with for my mood is the injection this morning.  Great.  I can't wait to add another dose of 150 of Gonal-F this evening AND Menopur and yet more Lupron.

If I'm feeling this way with just one dose in me, I hate to see what I will be like after several days of stimming.  My husband will not be a happy camper, that's for sure.  I will have to keep myself busy at home as to not cry at the drop of a hat or pick a fight with him.  I feel like I could do that, too.  I feel a bit of anger brewing for every little thing he has done to annoy me over the last 24 hours (not that it's been much, but there are things).  The last thing I want to do is start a fight but there is part of me right now that would welcome the chance to blow off some steam.

Man, oh man.  I don't remember feeling like this the last time I was stimming.  It was 2 years ago so I guess anything is possible.  I'm trying to focus on my ovaries producing some really good follicles with very mature, normal eggs.  My emotions are all over the place and I'm going to need something to focus on to keep myself in check.