Like Wildfire...

After our great appointment on Tuesday, I went against my better judgment and decided that it was ok for us to start telling people.  BJ said he was going to put it on FB after he privately told a few people.  That meant that I had to tell my neighbor/friend that I think is infertile before he splashed it all over the internet.  She was getting ready to leave for Aruba and I didn’t want her to see it there first because I do consider her to be a friend.  I started sending her texts about her trip…when was she leaving?  Was she packed?  She was in the process of getting her toes done so she was out in public.  I felt terrible about breaking the news like that.  It had to be done because my husband is the most impatient person I’ve ever met.  I broke the news as gently as I could.  I’ve always thought she was either infertile or that her husband refused to have kids.  She plays it off that she has never had a desire to have them but is completely in love with her nephew.  She takes oodles of pictures of him and brags about him and goes to see him and has made multiple scrapbooks of him.  I’ve never come out and asked her about it because I hate it when people do that to me so I have just always let it be.  She responded to the text with pure enthusiasm.  She said she had tears of happiness for us and that I am her 3^rd friend that is now pregnant.  She asked some questions about how I’m feeling and when I’m due and all that good stuff.  She then asked if it was a surprise.  I told her that it was not a surprise because we had to do IVF but that we are probably keeping that to ourselves (BJ’s request).  I then steered the conversation back to her trip and told her how excited I was for her and that we have lots of catching up to do when she gets back.  I didn’t want to take away from her fun, you know?

After that, BJ and I started sending private FB messages and text messages to people that we felt deserved to find out before he plastered it all over FB.  We went to dinner and our phones kept going off with alerts of congratulations and all the appropriate responses.  Of course, some of his friends were picking on him because of his age but he took it in stride.  At dinner, I decided to get a crab cake sandwich.  I love crab cakes and the picture looked so good.  When it was delivered to our table it had the strongest seafood odor I think I’ve ever smelled.  I had to sit there a minute and try to get used to it.  Then I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and take a deep breath.  When I got back to the table I took one tiny piece of the crab off the sandwich and ate it.  Big mistake.  I couldn’t eat anymore.  I thought I was going to get sick.  It’s a good thing I was able to eat the majority of the BBQ wings I ordered before the crab cake came out.  What a waste of money and food.  Oh well…it’s for a good cause, right?

After we got home from dinner our neighbors came over and we all sat outside on the porch talking about everything baby.  It was so strange to be so open about being pregnant and talking about daycare and my maternity leave and if we’ve thought of names yet.  It was like a foreign language to me.  It was one thing to talk about all that within the privacy of my own home but to be so candid about it out in the open was, well, strange.  It felt really good, really, really good.  At almost 9:00 that night BJ posted on FB that he was having a baby and that his wife is 11 weeks pregnant (2 more days until 11 weeks but close enough, I guess).  And the comments and the “likes” came rolling in.  I told him not to tag me because I don’t want my work knowing yet.  Talk about a bombshell.  I’m not sure I was ready for that but what’s done is done.  I will not be making a FB announcement.

Wednesday morning came and it was time to call my parents.  I had already sent my mother a text and she responded so all that was left was my dad and step-mom.  I had butterflies in my belly making the call.  They are the only ones that know that we did DE and so I was a little worried about how they might react.  We did some small talk about the weather and then I asked if my step-mom was with him and asked him to put me on speaker phone.  I told them that BJ and I are having a baby in January.  They were very happy and pleased and excited and all the things they should have been.  My step-mom got a little emotional which in turn caused me to get a little emotional.  I heard something in the background and asked them where they were.  They were at the local home improvement store!  How funny is that?  I’m on speaker phone talking about my pregnancy and anyone walking by can hear me.  I thought it was pretty funny.  My step-mom said she would be writing me a letter because she was too emotional to talk at that time.

I felt the weight lift off of me after that phone call.  And then I felt some dread.  What if we have to tell all these people bad news?  Everyone is so happy right now and it’s all sunshine and roses and pixie dust.  I can’t imagine spreading sad news at this point.  I don’t want to let myself imagine it.  I’m not living in a dream world, either; I just don’t want to think about the negative.  So for now, it’s all positive thoughts.  And to help keep my sanity between appointments I have ordered a rental Doppler.  It should be here Thursday.  I haven’t told BJ yet.  Although when I showed it to him online he said he was surprised that I hadn’t ordered it yet…I wouldn’t want to disappoint him.

So the cat is out of the bag and I’m still feeling very pregnant so that is a good sign.  Another good sign?  I survived a visit to the big baby store without one panic attack.  I’ll write more about that another time.  Just know that going to the store does not spell the end for baby.

Friday Bullet Points

• The LG did not make the all-star team. I wasn’t there for the tryouts but BJ said it was a fiasco from the beginning. The poor kid gets himself so stressed out about being perfect that he ends up making mistakes. He felt horrible. I felt horrible for him. They asked to make him an alternate but we decided that would be torture. He’d go to all the practices and the game only to sit on the bench and hope for someone to get sick or hurt. That is not a cool position to be in and we felt it best to just remove him from the hurtful situation. We did, however, sign him up for a 4-day baseball camp next week and he’s excited about that. Whew! Distractions are great!


• His team played an awesome game yesterday and will now play in the championship game tomorrow! They had mediocre pitching and made some mistakes in the field and were down by 3 runs in the bottom of the 6th (last inning). One boy hit and got on base, another boy was walked and then another boy was walked. One of our better hitters got up and smacked the ball and drove in 3 runs while he was still on 3rd base. It was time for the LG to bat. He had been walked twice and hit a double earlier in the game. We didn’t have any outs. I was so nervous. I knew the winning run was on 3rd and hoped that the LG was able to hit the ball as a sacrifice and bring the 3rd base runner home. He was almost hit with a pitch and I hoped that he wouldn’t get walked. The next pitch came and he hit the ball into the infield by the pitcher. The pitcher scooped up the ball and instead of trying to hold the runner at 3rd (not a force out since no one was on 2nd) he threw the ball to first and got the LG out. We scored and won the game! It was so exciting. So now we play our last game of the season tomorrow. I hope we can pull it off. The team we are playing is tough to say the least. I don’t like their cocky attitudes and we have lost to them twice already. Wish us luck!

• I was finally able to get an appointment with my OB. I’m scheduled for July 3 at 1:15. That seems like an eternity away…I will have to put my patient hat on because there’s nothing I can do to change it.

• I also made an appointment for the scan with the MFM office. That appointment is not until the 16th! They said I’d have to meet with the genetics counselor due to my advanced maternal age. I had to fess up that we did DE and used a 22-year old’s eggs so that was not necessary. BJ said he’s coming to that appointment for sure. He was bummed about missing the last scan.

• I think I’m telling my parents this weekend. From the way I’m feeling I’m going to venture out on a limb and say that everything is still going good in there so it’s time to let them in on the joy.

• This weekend’s weather is supposed to be spectacular. I can’t wait as I love the lower humidity and the sunshine. Tomorrow morning will be a perfect time to work out in the yard since last weekend it was too hot and muggy to do so. My flowers need trimmed so that more can grow. I’m so happy with my petunias…I put 2 small plants in each pot on our porch and they are over flowing with blooms. I love it!

• Sunday is Father’s Day and I have nothing planned for BJ. We are picking the LG up around 2:00 or so and will probably go and get some steamed crabs, but other than that…I got nothin’. There’s really nothing to buy him and a card will get read and then put aside. I think spending time with his son is the most important thing anyway.

• The sadness that has engulfed the blogosphere this week is truly upsetting. I’m a follower of one of the ladies that suffered a horrible loss but do not know the other 2. However, my heart breaks for them and their families. And selfishly, I fear for myself. I can’t imagine their pain or what they are going through…it seems unbearable. I told BJ about it and told him that I guess we’re never really safe. It sucks that these bad things happen to such good people. And it’s not like I can stick my head in the sand and just ignore the possibility that this could happen to us. I’m not going to dwell on it but it’s always there in my mind. I’m so very sorry that these ladies have to endure these tragedies. It really does break my heart.

• I’m always touched by the support and encouragement I get from my readers. I am so grateful to have you all out there. You know exactly how to lift my spirits and put my mind at ease. I love opening my e-mail and seeing messages from you. Especially those of you whom I have not heard from on your own blogs in a long time. I love it when you drop in and wish me well. Thank you all! I hope you have a good weekend or at least as good of one as you can.

Telling the News

There are many differing opinions regarding when and to whom to share the news of a pregnancy. In the normal, fertile world I don’t know that keeping a pregnancy a secret until you hit 12 weeks is the norm or not. I know many people that have spilled the beans a lot sooner without a second thought. That is all fine and good in their world. My world, the Infertile world, is a little different…at least in my opinion.


I was sure that as soon as I saw a heartbeat I would want to share the news with the people closest to us. Then I had the bleeding scare. And then I thought about all the blogs I have read over the years where women have lost babies at 7, 8, 9 and as late as 12 weeks. That does not count the other losses even later than that due to other complications. It’s very scary. I know that if I lose this baby (please don’t let that happen) I will be devastated. I really did not want to inflict any pain on anyone else that might love this baby, too. Given all of that, I decided that I wanted to wait until I was at least 10 weeks before telling those people closest to us. People like the Little Guy, BJ’s sister, my parents. My husband had a different plan.

He cannot keep a secret to save his life. As soon as he knows something he has to call me or text me or come running in the house to tell me. It’s crazy. So he decided to tell the Little Guy about the baby as long as everything went well at our u/s. I told him that I wasn’t sure about this but was over ruled so I had to think fast and think of a way to make it memorable. After a 2 ½ hour commute home and a terrible experience at KFC picking up dinner, I finally made it home. I was exhausted to say the least. So we ate dinner and the LG went to clean up. I asked BJ if we were still telling him and he confirmed that we were. I asked him if he had thought about a cool way to tell him but he had just planned on blurting it out. I said, “No way. I’ve waited way too long for this moment to just blurt it out. Let me tell him.” So the LG came back to the kitchen and we were standing around the table. BJ told him we had something to talk to him about. Then I started…

Me – In January…you are…going to be…a big brother

LG – Really?

Me – Yep

LG – Cool

BJ – She’s trying to tell you that she’s pregnant

LG – I figured….cool. When did you find out?

Me – On my birthday

LG – That’s cool

BJ – It’s still pretty early, and sometimes miscarriages happen but we’re really hoping that it won’t.

Me – We saw the heartbeat today…here’s the picture

LG – That’s it? (pointing at the spec on the u/s picture) Cool.

BJ – You can tell your mom if you want. We haven’t told anyone else but you yet.

LG – Cool

And then he was off to play video games. Not the cute, creative way I would have liked, but he seemed good with it. There’s more to this story and I’ll get there in a minute.

The next day was his baseball game and his mom came with her new boyfriend (which I really need to write about), her dad and her boyfriend’s daughter. We didn’t sit together this time, thank goodness so I didn’t really talk to her at all. We learned that they had plans to go to the amusement park the next day and so we figured that the LG might be too preoccupied to say anything to his mom. We also weren’t sure if he’d say anything in front of the new boyfriend. After the game we were driving home and BJ’s text alert played. It was her. She was congratulating him. She thinks it’s awesome that the LG will have a half brother or sister. I then told BJ that we could not wait to tell his sister until we saw her in person because she and the LG’s mother are FB friends. We called my SIL the next day and put her on speaker phone. She was playing video games with her kids. I shouted out that we are having a baby. She freaked out. It was such a great reaction. She told the kids to play for her because she had to go. She kept saying things like “are you kidding?” “you’re joking, right?” She was so happy for us. Then she asked if it was “natural”. I told her that we had help but that everything looked good so far. We talked for a while and I promised to keep her updated on everything.

That Monday, the LG’s mom sent me an e-mail to congratulate me and tell me how excited he was to tell her. She said that his butt had hardly hit the seat of the truck before the news came flying out of his mouth. I was so touched. He has made a couple of comments over the years about how he likes being the only kid so I was worried that he’d be upset. I think he’s old enough now to where we won’t have any jealousy issues. He’ll make a great big brother, I’m sure of it.

So that’s how the telling went so far. I’m probably going to wait until after Tuesday to tell my parents. If everything still looks really good then I may go ahead and spill the beans to them. I’m not 100% sure yet. Of course, BJ can’t wait until I give him the all clear to make his FB announcement. I will not be doing that but he wants to so I guess he will. That kind of announcement will just have to wait a few more weeks.

In other news…I received a folder in the mail from the clinic. They congratulated me on my pregnancy and provided a slew of helpful information regarding how to stave off nausea and some things that are ok for pregnancy and some things that are not. They also gave me a form to give my OB and a form to fill out and send back to them after delivery. After delivery? I’m only 7 weeks and they sent me a form for after delivery? Wow…It’s almost like I’m a regular pregnant lady. I like it. It scares me, but I like it. They also want me to stop my PIO shots tomorrow and switch over to Endometrin. I’m to continue my Delestrogen until 6/27 and at that point I can stop all medications. Double wow.

I will admit, I’m a bit nervous. I was doing ok because I was starting to feel a little nausea here and there so I was comfortable knowing that everything was going ok. However, I haven’t had any nausea today and there haven’t been any smells that have made me gag today. I’m sure it’s just one of those things that just comes and goes, but it still makes me nervous. I have to wait until Tuesday to see my little bean again and it’s going to be a long wait. Fingers crossed and prayers said that everything is still going good in there.