Starting Anew

I'm not really starting "anew" but I am picking up where I left off, I suppose. I started temping yesterday morning again. I can't tell much from 2 day's worth, but I already know I'm back on track for some odd temps. I was at 97.8 yesterday, which is fine. Then of course today I'm at 98.1. That is usually a post-ovulation temp. Today is CD5 so hopefully I can get a good baseline before I ovulate. And HOPEFULLY I won't ovulate as early as I have been. I'm going to hold out hope. Although, if I stay with a CD9 ovulation, that will mean that we should do some BD'ing Saturday night. Even though we have the Little Guy this weekend, Saturday night fun time is always easier to come by then week night fun time. That would also mean that BJ should be very ready to go by then as we had some activity last night. "Yay" for things seemingly to fall into place. Of course you know this means that I will have a later ovulation and things will get all off schedule and we'll probably miss everything. But AGAIN, I'm holding out hope. I will start opk testing on Friday. I know that's early, but I don't want to miss anything.

My boss was not here Monday so yesterday really felt like my first day back to work. That's a nice thing because today is Wednesday and I was thinking it was Tuesday. I love it when it happens like that. Not so much when I think it's Friday and it's only Thursday.

I am going to a scrapbooking retreat this weekend. I actually took a day off work to attend all 3 days. I'm very excited about it. I haven't worked on anything since early June. I am a year and a half behind on pictures. I'm not staying overnight at the hotel since I live about 5 minutes from it, but it will still be nice to be able to work uninterrupted (for the most part) on my album. I will still be able to have dinner and breakfast with BJ and the Little Guy Saturday and Sunday. Plus, I need to leave Saturday for about 2 hours to attend the Little Guy's very first basketball game. I'm really excited about it. He had his first real practice Monday and seemed to enjoy it so I hope he likes playing in a game just as much. Plus, I can't wait to take some pictures for our album! And since I have the sports cartridge for my Cricut, I will be able to make some very cool layouts. Yes, I'm a scrapping geek. I have my SIL to thank for that. It has really allowed me to try and get in touch with my creative side. I stress the word "try" as I am not that crafty. But it's fun and relaxing (for the most part) and I actually have a finished product when I am done. I've never gone to a 3-day event before. I've done a few full day events and have enjoyed them so hopefully this will go well. You would be surprised how quickly the time passes when you are sitting there working. I don't know anyone (except the 2 consultants running it) that will be there so maybe I will make a new friend. It's hard at these events because people are filling their albums with baby pictures and nursery pictures and birth stories. I don't have much in common with them so it's hard to make a connection. I have pictures of the Little Guy and that definitely makes it less agonizing, but it's not the same as making a baby album or a "first steps" page or something like that. But I'm not going to let that bring me down...I'm going to work and hopefully get through the rest of 2008 pictures and if I get a lot done, I will need to print some pictures at the 1-hour place to work on the rest of the weekend.

BJ is taking off today to go and pick up our love seats! I'm so excited about it. I just wish that our ottoman was in, too. Something more to look forward to. He also needs to get a chest x-ray and an abdominal sonogram. He's had some issues and was supposed to get this stuff done months ago but he is who he is. He said he didn't want any bad news before Christmas. I don't think there is anything wrong with him. He's had 2 or 3 chest x-rays since I've known him and no one ever finds anything. But he gets short of breath at times and he's worried....since he smoked for 20 years or so. He had abdominal pain before and they never found a reason for it. I'm not concerned but I understand his fears. I'm glad he's going today and I hope he can get it done today to put his mind at ease.

We are still dealing with some issues regarding our new house and I now have 3...that's right, 3 holes in 3 different walls in my house. Lovely. I'll explain it all later as this has again gotten very long and the house deserves its own post at this point. Aren't you excited to hear me complain even more?? :-)

CD5 - Another Whacky Temp

Thank you ladies (you know who you are) for the thoughts and prayers for my sister and SIL. I'm going to need some prayers for my sanity when it comes time for my sister's surgery.

And thank you for helping me stabilize my crazy mind about the things my body is doing. I'm always over analyzing every little thing.

That leads me to my temp this morning. 98.3....WTH? I woke up a few times during the night but was right back to sleep. I took my temp at the regular time. I'm not sure what's going on. Now I hear this little voice in the back of my head....I'm sure you can all imagine what it's saying to me...

"maybe you're really pregnant" "your temps the last 2 days have been above your original cover line"

SHUT UP! I had a period, yes it was light, but it was a period. My temp dropped, I got a headache and I bled...ENOUGH! :-)

You know how we infertiles are...always searching for the next pregnancy symptom...always looking for that miracle conception...it COULD be just around the corner, you know.

What I DO know is that I'm not pregnant...my body has just not been the same since my IVF cycle. I'm not used to that. I'm so regular, it's scary. And now I'm not...and that is even more scary to me. Did I mess something up? Am I even LESS likely to get pregnant on my own now?

**sigh**

Sometimes I think it's just too much. I just want to be one of those girls that just happens to look at the calendar and realize that her period is late and rush out to buy a test and gets the shock of her life. But that is not me. That is not my reality. So I will just sit here and wait to see what happens with my temp tomorrow morning.

And of course it rained for a good portion of the morning so I doubt they worked on our house today. They were supposed to get the roof trusses done today and maybe even the plywood. BJ will check on his way home to see if we got lucky and they worked in the sprinkles.