6DPO - Barely 1/2 Way There

I am all of 6dpo today. Today is only Tuesday. It feels like today should be at least 10dpo. *sigh*

I'm a little down in the dumps and I have no real reason to be. I think this is one of my depression times. Although, this doesn't usually happen until I'm much closer to AF. I'm trying to be more upbeat but all I want to do is just sleep and sloth around. I think some of this has to do with the fact that we went almost a week without seeing the sun. And it rained...a lot. Plus, the time changed. Add that to the fact that the trees are all dying and it just sucks the goodness out of my mood.

Halloween was good. We took the Little Guy to a neighborhood we like and met up with my SIL and her family. The niece was adorable as a puppy. She didn't feel good and was running a fever (we now know she has the flu) but she couldn't have been more content. The rain held off until about 8:00 so we got a good hour and a half in before we had to pack up. Next year I think the Little Guy's mother is going to want him so we have come up with a plan. Since we will be at our new house, we are going to decorate like crazy, dress up, scare kids and hand out candy. There should be plenty of houses built in there by that time with lots of kids to come by. It will be very hard NOT to be with the Little Guy because we have gone with him every year...oh well, we have to share.

I don't know if I've mentioned this to anyone on here, but I love to scrapbook. I've been doing it for just over a year and I love it. I go to crops (scrapbooking events with tables and door prizes and other scrappers that are usually all day events) when I can. I haven't done many since the Spring because we had to get the old house on the market and then once it sold it has become a saving money time. I went to one on 10/18 and now I'm jonesing for another one. I signed up for a retreat in January. Three full days of nothing but working on albums/pages. I can't wait. I even took a vacation day to participate. Normally, girls stay over at whatever hotel it is being held at, however, since it is only 5 minutes from where I will be living, I will just drive up there each day. It saves money and this way I can have dinner with BJ and the Little Guy each evening. Also, my dad offered to buy me the Cricut for my b-day in May. I didn't have a place for it at the old house so I took a rain check. I couldn't stand it anymore so I bought it from e-bay and it was delivered last week. I love it! I need to get better at using it because I can't seem to figure out a good way to get the little letters off the mat without tearing them. I still have no place for it at the rental, but I just had to have it in my possession. I will post pictures of my work eventually. It was my SIL that got me hooked on this....so I blame her. :-)

Looking at the calendar and going by my past, I figure I will know for sure whether or not we were successful this month by next Tuesday or Wednesday. AF is scheduled to arrive Thursday. I hate this part of the 2ww...it's the part where I start to think about what IF's?

What if...it worked?
What if...I get to tell BJ that we are pregnant?
What if...I get to tell my family (who would be on cloud 9) that they are going to have a grandchild?
What if...I get to start putting a nursery together in bedroom #4?
What if...I can finally buy all the cute little baby scrapbooking items that as of right now I just avert my eyes from?

Then I get mad at myself for even thinking such foolish thoughts. Why would this month be any different than any other month? I'll tell you why...because we timed things right and we actually have a SHOT this time. Aside from whatever has kept me from getting pregnant in the past when things were timed just right. I hate getting my hopes up and then kicking myself for getting my hopes up and then getting disappointed anyway when my period starts.

Why is this so damn hard? Sorry, I'm a bit all over the place today. I think I might be coming down with something because my temp was 98.9 this morning...and that's very high for me. I feel a bit warm right now but I also have leggins on under my pants. Not sure if I have a fever or just too many layers of clothes on. Hopefully I'm not getting sick...