Here I Go Again On My Own....

Very quickly I want to thank those of you that post encouraging remarks. It really makes a difference in my daily feelings.

Next, I want to say that we really had a nice time on our little get-away. We did more in 36 hours than I thought was possible. Everything was close to where we stayed so that made it easy to get around. The drive was beautiful, the company was nice and the experience will be remembered. I had a few sad moments but they quickly passed and I focused on what was happening in the here and now rather than what has transpired over the last several months.

BJ and I are going to give TTC a "natural" chance. In my brain I know that it's next to impossible that we will be successful, but I don't think I have it in me to just walk away from the possibility. It won't be easy as TTC naturally really changes things in a marriage. There are ways to ease the stress and pressure but regardless of that, there is always a schedule of events. It's nowhere near as complicated as the IVF schedule. This schedule requires a lot more of the Man of the House. I'm not sure how that is going to go. He doesn't like pressure and he doesn't like to be told when it's "fun" time. I completely understand that. Babymaking for us long timers is just that...Babymaking. It can take a lot of the romance out of your life. As well as the spontaneity. There is nothing greater than just snuggling in bed and then things happening. Now, we will have to be mindful that it's not too close to my fertile time. We had this happen last night. We wanted to, but we know that I will probably be fertile tonight and/or tomorrow night. It was a little disappointing.

I went so far as to buy a box of OPK's from the drugstore. I think they have gone up in price since the last time I bought them....about 6 years ago. So far, I have not detected my surge. I just tested about an hour ago and I think the line was a little bit darker than last night's line. I usually ovulate on CD13. Today is CD12. I'm wondering if my IVF has shifted my cycle. I'm hoping that it hasn't messed my insides up to where they are unpredictable from here on out. BJ and I did some pre-babymaking activities Saturday in prep for a positive test yesterday or this morning. If we had've done what we needed to last night (like we both wanted) then we'd be set and ready for a positive (hopefully) tonight/tomorrow. Oh well. Such is the life of a TTCer with no injection schedule. I guess next cycle I will have to add temping to my daily routine. I have given up on checking my CM. When I turned 30 my fertile CM days were cut in half and now it seems like they have been again at the ripe old age of 33. I might invest in some PreSeed. I've never used it before but some of the ladies on the message board seem to like it. I found it in single doses online. I might get that one. Seems simple enough and right now, since we are doing this on our own, I'm going to try whatever I can.