33 Weeks, 5 Days and Other Things

I’m sorry that I’m not writing more regularly.  I got out of the habit during our busy time at work and now I have a horrible case of tendonitis in my left wrist that causes me all sorts of problems.  I’m wearing a very sexy brace on my left hand this day and let me tell you, it’s as much of a conversation starter as my big belly.  I had tendonitis many years ago in my right wrist and this case is no different.  It took many months to heal and that was with a cast and 2 cortisone shots.  The doctor threatened me with surgery so I never went back to him because I was a chicken and it ended up healing over time.  This case has gotten progressively worse which is not boding well for being able to take care of a baby.  I saw and orthopedic doctor that told me cortisone was ok while pregnant.  I’m going to check with my OB tomorrow to see what she says.  If I get the green light then I will go back and get the shot and hopefully it will help things along.  I have only done a little research on it and have not found anything satisfying yet.  Have any of you gotten a cortisone shot while pregnant?

Everything else is going fine.  My weight is up 25 pounds, my blood pressure and my urine are all good. At least they were 2 weeks ago.  I’ll find out more at my appointment tomorrow.  I had my thyroid checked again and it was fine so there is no adjustment in meds right now.  I go back in 3 weeks to do another check.  My sleep is pretty much like it has been for a while.  I wake once to pee and sometimes fall right back to sleep and other times I lie awake for over an hour trying to get comfortable and get my brain to shut up.  If I wake a second time to pee there is no going back to sleep.  I try to cut off my water drinking at 9:30 so that I have 2 more bathroom trips before bed.  This seems to work out ok most of the time.  I feel like I’m eating less.  I’m hungry more often but can only eat small amounts due to feeling full.  I read that this could be the case.  I still love cold stuff…we actually had cereal for dinner last night!  I love ice cold water and cereal and the occasional frozen yogurt or soft serve ice cream.  Yummy!  My vision is changing.  I read that in the book, too.  It seems like as soon as I read something I experience it or I experience it and then read about it the next time I open the book.  I guess you could say this pregnancy is pretty textbook.  Which is boring, but good?  I get heartburn at night and I also try to get leg cramps.  I’ve been eating Tums before bed and doing some calf stretches to help with the cramps.  Both seem to do the trick to alleviate these symptoms.

I’m so in love with this little girl.  We all are, really.  The Little Guy is reaching out and touching my belly more and more and watching her move and trying to feel her move.  BJ said he’s ready for those arms and elbows I’m feeling to be on the outside.  He knows it’s best for her to bake longer but he’s just so ready to hold her.  I love it.  I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before.  She has started to wedge her little feet (I’m guessing) up under my sternum which is not comfortable but it makes me smile.  She also “bites” me over where I think my left ovary is.  BJ laughs when I say that she’s biting me but that is exactly what it feels like from the inside.  It’s so very painful that I double over sometimes.  I’m not sure what she’s doing but it really hurts.  It’s fun to watch her move around and twist her body.  Sometimes we will spend a good 10 minutes just watching my stomach and rubbing her to get her to move.  BJ talks to her every night and he won’t go to sleep until she kicks him.  It’s adorable.

We have our birthing class on Saturday.  It’s 9 to 5 so it’s a long day.  BJ is not looking forward to it but I am.  Sort of.  I’m nervous about it…labor, that is.  I’ll write more about it soon but I’m scared of a few things and taking this class will probably bring out all of those fears.  It seemed like that day would never get here and now it’s THIS weekend.  Yikes!

I have a shower at work tomorrow and I had one at home (well, my friend’s house) the weekend before Thanksgiving.  I need to write about both experiences and I will do that after the one tomorrow.  It’s so surreal to me that these “baby parties” are being thrown for ME.  I never thought I’d be the guest of honor at a baby shower and now I’m getting ready to attend my 2^nd one.  Crazy.

And because I can’t write a post without telling you of my new worries…I just read a couple of days ago about counting kicks and how to do that.  Well, I don’t have to do that because baby girl is very active.  I sometimes wonder if she ever sleeps.  She does have calmer days here and there but for the most part I feel her very regularly.  The book went on to say that if I feel “jerky” movements that I should let my doctor know.  Hmmm…well, since I read that I’ve been worried.  There have been a few times when it has felt like she is riding a bull in there.  This type of movement has only lasted a few seconds at a time and then she moves around normally.  I haven’t googled it AT ALL because I’m trying not to be worried.  I mean, it’s ok if she moves a little ruggedly, right?  I will mention it at my appointment tomorrow but is it something I should really be worried about?

I have lots more to say but my wrist is hurting and I need to get some actual work done.  Here are things that I still want to write about (making a list will help me remember because pregnancy brain is REAL):

Thoughts on having a girl
My showers
Labor/Delivery
Breastfeeding
A letter to my daughter

I will try to get to all of those before I actually give birth.  :-)   OH…and I almost forgot…please head over to Patience’s blog to help her with her adoption funds.  She has been on such a long and heartbreaking road and now they are finally matched!  She could use all the help she can get!

30 Week Update

Wow!  I can’t believe that I am 30 weeks pregnant.  I’m in the third trimester and things have just flown by.  I’ll start by giving a quick pregnancy update and then I have some other things I want to get in to.

I’ve had 2 OB appointments since I was told that I was measuring almost 2 weeks behind.  You will be happy to know that at the first appointment since that visit baby girl (and my uterus) went through a growth spurt.  At that appointment (and my appointment this week) I was measuring exactly where I should be!  Yay!  I will say that I was getting a little worried because not only was I measuring small but people kept telling me how little my belly was.  I actually still have people surprised at how far along I am when I tell them but I’ve also had people comment on how much my belly has grown and how big it is.  So I’m not worried anymore because I know everything is fine and I’ll just take the “small” comments as compliments.

I’ve gained 20 pounds so far.  Yikes!  That’s a lot on my small frame.  I’m wide and didn’t think I could get any wider but low and behold it has happened.  My hips, feet and back feel every single pound, too.  I passed my 1 hour glucose test and my blood pressure is good.  Everything is going along very smoothly.  I hope it keeps going that way.

I am now on an every 2 week appointment schedule until I hit 36 weeks.  I talked a little to my OB about what will happen if I go into labor early.  She said that if it’s before 36 weeks and they can’t stop contractions I will be transferred to a more capable hospital.  If it’s after 36 weeks I will just deliver at our hospital.  I still need to talk to her about when and if she’ll pull me out of work early.  I’m starting to have some anxiety about birth and labor and where I’ll be when it all starts and the thought of being 40 miles (usually about an hour travel time) from my hospital is not helping to calm my nerves.  It’s bad enough that if labor starts (or my water breaks) during the day BJ will be out on the road somewhere and I’ll be worried about him driving like a bat out of hell to get to me.  The less I have to worry about the better off I’ll be.  Not to mention the better off baby girl will be if I’m not stressing.

Now for the not so fun stuff.  I’m scared.   I’ve done a pretty good job of keeping my fears at bay but at times there is no holding back.  We’re so close to having this baby girl in our arms and I can’t help but sometimes fear the worst.  I pretty much stay away from message boards because every once in a while a post will pop up about a late term loss or a stillbirth and I just can’t go there.  I can’t understand why those things happen and then of course I fear for myself and my baby.  I find it so hard to believe that I’m pregnant after all these years that I fear something horrible is going to happen to end it all.  When I wake up in the middle of the night to pee she often kicks me and squirms when I get back in bed.  I smile to myself and am relieved that she’s still there and alive.  It’s the same story when I wake up in the morning.  I need to feel her move to know that it’s real and that there is a live baby in there.   But I know that just because she’s moving and growing now that things could still go very wrong.  I’m trying to not think about it and I’m trying to just focus on all the good things…there are so many good things.  However, the fear is still there and it comes in big, engulfing waves sometimes.  I talk to her all the time and tell her things like how she doesn’t need to come early and no matter how uncomfortable I might be and how much moaning I may do when I can’t get comfortable at night that I am so happy that she’s in there and doing well.  I tell her how much her daddy loves her and how he can’t wait to hold her.  Although, he does a pretty good job of telling her those things, too.  He’s so cute…he gently lays his head on my belly (not all of his weight) and he talks to her and asks her to kick him and tells her that he loves her and can’t wait to see her.  My heart melts on a nightly basis.  Before I get out of bed in the morning, when I get home from work and when I lay down in bed at night he always reaches out and rubs my belly and gives it a tiny squeeze.  These moments are cherished but also bring on fear.  What if something happens to this precious little girl that we both love so much?  How would we survive?  I know we would but what kind of people would a loss like that morph us into?  I shudder at the thought.  This is why I try not to think about it.  I have a nursery that is 95% complete with clothes hanging in the closet and a dresser with 2 full drawers full of more clothes and a crib that is begging for a baby to be placed in it.  When I’m in there and I’m looking at her clothes I get very happy and anxious and sometimes scared out of my mind.  I had a rough road to get to this point and I guess I just can’t let go of all the years of heartache and disappointment.  I didn’t just get pregnant naturally or by surprise…I fought for years and kept hope alive even when I, myself, thought I had let it die.  I had to turn to one of the most controversial methods of conception out there in order to get pregnant.  And now here we are, 10 weeks from our due date.  It’s so surreal that we have come this far.  I have no reason to believe anything bad will happen…except that I know that bad can happen and I’ve been on the receiving end of some bad shit in my life…I want this to be the exception…I want to bring a living, healthy baby girl into this world and hold her and kiss her and smell her and cherish her for the rest of my life.  I think that is what any mother wants.  I hope and pray every day that God lets that happen for me.  This little girl is the light of our lives and she hasn’t even been born yet…and yet I can’t imagine my life without her now.  I hate that I feel sad sometimes and that I worry and that I’m scared.  I don’t want to feel those things at all.  I want to keep all the happy and hopeful feelings in the forefront and just concentrate on all the excitement surrounding the pregnancy.  Like I said, for the most part I am doing that.  I love being pregnant and I love feeling her move and wiggle and kick.  I have my complaints, don’t get me wrong.  All in all the good far outweighs anything I could complain about.  I’ll save my woes of pregnancy for another day (not that I have many).  What I gather from other Infertile Pregnant Blogs is that I think my fears are pretty normal…at least I hope they are.  And it’s not like I’m just waiting for something bad to happen.  I’m enjoying every bit of being pregnant and prepping for baby.  I love rubbing my stomach when no one’s looking.  I’m so vain that I can’t stop staring at myself in the mirror.  I love that people are finally noticing that yes, I’m pregnant.  It’s been such a great experience and I’m going to miss it once I give birth.  I just hope that we get our happy story and that she arrives safe and sound and ready to be smothered with love.

This and That

I know, you deserve a much better post/update than this and now that the election is over I might actually have time to sit down and write something worth reading.  For now, I want to touch on a few things non-pregnancy related that I have neglected to write about over the last few months.

The Little Guy’s mother has a new boyfriend.  I knew something was up when she asked to switch a day with us (a Thursday when it was our weekend to have him) and then didn’t call him all weekend.  That is very unlike her…so I had a feeling something was going on but I didn’t say anything to anyone.  BJ got a text from her about 2 weeks later that she was seeing someone and that a meeting between the LG and him would not happen for a while.  Well, it only took about another week or so before she introduced them.  The LG seems to like him and they do fun things like camping, amusement parks and stuff like that.  The only problem is that she likes to hang out at his place a lot, even when she has the LG with her.  I don’t blame her as he has his own house and she lives in her dad’s basement (which is very tiny) so who wouldn’t want to hang out somewhere else?  However, the LG doesn’t really have anything to do while they are there.  So, many of his weekends are pretty boring.  Not to mention, the boyfriend lives in another county which is about a 30 to 35 minute drive away.  Everyone seems happy so it’s good for now.

The LG started middle school this year.  Wow, I remember when he started Kindergarten.  He’s growing up so fast.  We are having a hard time adjusting to say the least.  He is in honors classes so he’s at a faster pace and higher level this year.  His math is kicking my butt…not to mention HIS butt.  I get home, help finish making dinner, eat dinner, clean up after dinner and then sit down to go over his homework.  I easily spend another 45 minutes to an hour helping him with his math.  I haven’t seen this math since I was in school and that was a LONG time ago.  He doesn’t take good notes and can’t remember what his teacher instructs him to do so I’m left surfing the internet or trying to figure out how to use his text book to help finish his worksheets.  It’s a nightmare.  And then comes his lack of memory for turning in this homework that we spend so much time on.  He forgets everything…and I’m not kidding.  He totally played me the other week because I told him that if he did not turn in one more assignment (especially after we spent so much time on it) he would be grounded for 3 days.  We can look online at his grades and his work was missing so I told him that was it, he was grounded.  He promised me he turned it in and that he looked everywhere for it and that the teacher must have lost it.  He cried and cried and didn’t understand why I didn’t believe him.  I felt like an ass because I really wanted to believe him.  I let him off the hook.  I looked in one of his other folders several days later and wouldn’t you know that I found the missing homework?  Ugh.  I told him that no matter how many tears he cried I would not believe him if another assignment came up missing.  So he was grounded for a full weekend day…no electronics.  He was so bored, poor thing.  Needless to say, things aren’t going great with middle school.  I’m hoping that he will adjust to the added responsibility a little better as time goes on.  Once Baby Girl gets here our lives will be that much more chaotic.

We weathered the hurricane just fine. We were so prepared to lose power…we had coolers, extra ice, a generator, propane for our grill, batteries for our flashlights, food that was power-failure appropriate, water in our bathtub…everything.  Of course we only lost power for 2 minutes.  I’ve never been so prepared for a storm.  I almost wished that we had lost power for a few hours.  Not really.  We have lost power and not been prepared and it sucked, big time.  I feel so badly for the NJ/NY areas that were hit so hard.  It’s unbelievable what a storm like that can do.  I can’t imagine losing everything like that.   It makes me cherish the fact that we came through unscathed.

We took a mini-vacation to an indoor waterpark last month.  It was fun to get away but of course I did not ride any of the rides.  I stuck my feet in the hot tub for a few minutes while BJ was enjoying the bubbles but I got hot pretty quickly so I just sat there and kept him company.  The LG rode all sorts of waterslides and we all swam in the big pool together.  I indulged in a pre-natal massage and it was heavenly.  BJ scoffed at the price (I even had a coupon!) but I told him that since I could not ride the rides that the massage was MY vacation and I didn’t care how much it cost.  It was only my 2^nd professional massage and I so wish I could get one once a week…it was blissful.  We ate some good food and played games at the arcade and just had a nice time.  We couldn’t go on a real vacation this summer because I couldn’t tolerate the heat so this was the next best thing.  I’ve also been saving my leave to carryover to next year and combine with my maternity leave so getting away felt really good since I feel like we have been trapped in our county since January.  There were so many babies and pregnant ladies there it was unreal.  I was so happy to be one of them for once, let me tell you.  Even BJ commented to me that I didn’t have to look at them with daggers anymore.  He was right.  But I did wonder if anyone was looking at me with daggers.

Oh yeah…another quick story.  On Open House night at school we were in the LG’s reading class and the teacher pointed out that she had the kids write the obligatory “what I did over the Summer” essay and she posted them in the back of the room.  While she was talking (and I should have been listening) I was searching for the LG’s essay.  I finally found it.  I read it and I beamed with pride.  The only 2 things he wrote about were places that I took him – the waterpark for his b-day in June and bowling with a friend.  How cool is that?  His mom took him to the beach once but he didn’t mention that.  She didn’t take him nearly as much as she used to…due to the new boyfriend, and I guess he took notice of that.  I showed the essay to BJ and told him how cool it was that the LG wrote about the things we did.  Since we didn’t take a real vacation he didn’t have much to pick from but writing about our time instead of the beach trip meant a lot to me.  I love that kid…bad memory and all.

I will do a better update later and I have some posts brewing that I need to get on paper so be prepared for a flurry of action around here over the next week or so…there’s lots to share.

First (and hopefully last until January) Visit to Labor and Delivery

Baby’s fine and I’m fine but I had a scary couple of hours last Friday night.  Before I get to that I want to thank you all for your advice and for putting  my fears about measuring behind to rest.  I always tell people to not worry until they have something to worry about and I need to follow my own advice.  I’m not going to fret (too much) about it until my next appointment where hopefully things will have evened out some.  And thanks for the advice on the bottles and other items.  It’s still so strange to be discussing these things with all of you.  But I’m very grateful that I’m at this point.  I put some bottles and a pump on my registry and we’ll see how it goes.  If baby girl doesn’t like them then we’ll try another brand.  I thought it would be wise to start with just the essentials…a few small and a few larger bottles just to see how it goes.

On to Friday night:

Actually, it started Thursday.  BJ, the Little Guy and I went to an outdoor event Thursday night that involved a lot of walking.  It was very leisurely walking for the most part but there were a couple of times that we walked pretty fast.  I started getting some cramps so I slowed down and then we took a break and sat for about 30 minutes.  All in all I had been on my feet for over 3 hours.  The cramps I experienced were quite different from my usual RLP (round ligament pain) that I’ve been having the entire pregnancy.  These were sharp and really low (like down by my pubic bone) and they extended into my lady parts.  They went away and I didn’t give them much more thought as I just chalked it up to overdoing it.  Friday at work I started to get them again.  The pains were really sharp, like stop me in my tracks sharp, and they continued to extend to my nether regions.  I was sitting for about 3 hours working on a project so I know it wasn’t happening because I was walking too much.  But again, they came and went with no real pattern.  Then I had them on the bus on the way home.  Then I had them at dinner.  Then I had them while relaxing on the couch after dinner.  BJ was a little worried and thought maybe I should call the answering service.  I debated on that because as always, I don’t want to be the crazy infertile pregnant lady that has to go to the doctor for every little pain.  But then I started wondering if the cramps were caused by my cervix dilating and then real worry started to set in.  I called the answering service and the on call doctor (not mine) called me back almost immediately.  I described the pain and was asked a bunch of questions about my activity, if I was coughing, if the pains were at regular intervals etc.  After talking with him he thought it would be best to go to L&D and just make sure things were fine.  To say that I had an out of body experience at that moment is an understatement.  I told BJ that he didn’t have to come (it was 10:00pm, after all) but of course he insisted.  I was foolish to even suggest I go alone but like I said, I was not thinking clearly and was feeling like it was a bad dream at this point.  All the thoughts that were in my head were all bad and on the short drive to the hospital I felt like I was floating along completely out of control.  I just wanted her to be ok.  I kept apologizing to BJ about his truck getting dirty (it was raining and he had just washed it) and just staring out the window not sure what to do with myself.

He dropped me off at the entrance to the ER because that is the first step.  I was worried that we’d be there all night because the ER for our hospital is always crowded and always very slow.  I was wrong.  After checking in at the front desk (and trying to explain to the lady that we did IVF and that I had no idea when my LMP was but that we had retrieval on 5/3 and my due date is 1/24 and I’m 23 weeks and 1 day pregnant…she still did the math wrong and messed up the LMP date) we were sent straight to L&D.  We were a bit lost but found our way and were buzzed in and I handed my papers over and was shown straight into a birthing room and given a warm gown to put on.  I changed and explained to the nurse what was happening and why I was worried.  She was so nice and understanding and put us right at ease.  I had to give a urine and blood sample and was hooked up to the fetal monitor and the contraction monitor.  Baby girl’s heart rate worried me because it started out in the 130’s and then went up to her usual 140’s.  The nurse looked at the print out and said that it was perfectly normal for that to happen and that by judging from the heart rate and her movements (which were constant) that I was carrying a beautiful baby and that baby girl is very happy.  That warmed my heart.  I had the pain again and made note of the time so that I could tell the nurse upon her return.  Then I had to pee again.  BJ got up and went searching to find someone to make sure it was ok that I unhooked everything.  He was standing by the baby warmer and picked up the little hat and showed it to me. He was smitten.  He asked if that is where they put the baby after I have it and I told him yes.  I said that you just stay in the same room to deliver and then the baby gets checked out over there in the warmer and then we pretty much stay in that room.  He was confused by that because he has never experience that before.  The Little Guy was a scheduled C-section so he had no idea.  He thought it was pretty cool.  The fetal monitor picked up everything baby girl was doing.  We had a good time listening to her move and then BJ could hear her big kicks, of which there were many.  At one point the nurse saw my belly jump when she kicked.  Listening to her and feeling her move around was definitely comforting to us.

Anyway, when the nurse returned she checked the print out and at the time I had the pain I did not have a contraction.  Yay!  And then my blood and urine came back all normal (they never did check my cervix) and I was free to go.  We were in and out in just over an hour.  I felt so relieved that we went and that we had a good experience and that everything appears to be fine.  I told the nurse that I didn’t want to see her again until January and she said the same thing.

It was very scary but it turned out well and that is what I’m going to focus on.  I had a good experience with the staff and was comfortable and was not made to feel like I was overreacting.  What could have been a very bad night ended on the great high of knowing that as of right now, our baby girl is doing just fine and everything is as it should be.

Nesting, Registering, Melting, Worrying

Instead of a bullet point post, I’m going to do 4 mini-posts in one.  I know you are excited!

Nesting

The nesting has begun.  We cleaned out the “scrapping” room to make way for the baby furniture we bought.  I still have to clear out half of the closet but we are well on our way to having a real nursery.  We even installed some shelves in the closet.  The lady at work that had her baby girl 7 weeks early gave me a box full of clothes that her little one has outgrown.  I can’t believe that I have baby clothes in my house.  We brought the crib and dresser home and set them up in her room.  I fought tears a couple of times because I was just so overcome with joy and love and disbelief that this is happening for us.  BJ didn’t see the tears.  He went down to the neighbor’s house for a little while and I took that time to hang out in baby girl’s room and have a talk with her and God.  Of course the flood gates opened up at that point.  We had put her bedding in her crib to get an idea of if we liked it (we love it) and to see what color(s) we want to pull from the bedding in order to paint.  I kept looking at the empty crib in awe.  There’s finally going to be a baby in our house (hopefully) and it’s so emotionally overwhelming that sometimes I just cry.  I pulled myself together and by the time BJ got home I was fresh faced again.  He doesn’t like it when I get over emotional like that so I try to keep it all to myself until I’m alone.  It makes him uncomfortable and he knows there’s nothing he can do to prevent the tears so I try to protect him from feeling like he can’t protect me…confusing, yes, but it works.  We also started clearing out the basement.  We have a huge load of stuff to take to the thrift store this weekend.  Once we do that he will have room to work down there whenever he feels like working.  It will be nice to get started on the basement finally.  I really need my scrapping space back.  :-)

Registering
We started a baby registry when we picked up the crib and dresser.  We picked out the bigger ticket items that we’d both need to agree on and then added some smaller things here and there.  It was so fun to watch BJ with the scanner…he walked passed a teddy bear and scanned it and looked at me with a sly smile on his face and said, “she needs a big bear”.  There are some things that I still need to research to make sure we didn’t pick something that got bad reviews.  There are many, many small things that still need to be added.  BJ said that he was fine with whatever I picked as far as bottles and breast pump and stuff like that go.  I don’t blame him for opting out of another big visit to the store.  It’s so overwhelming to have to choose what we want.  So here’s my question…I plan on nursing but know that I still need bottles.  What kind of bottles did you moms out there love or hate?  I want to make sure that baby girl isn’t getting too much air and that she’s getting a bottle that is as close to the breast as possible.  Also, are there things that you really couldn’t live without in the first several months?  What did you get that you had no use for?  Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Melting

So you all heard about BJ feeling baby girl for the first time and now you get to hear about the Little Guy’s first experience.  We ordered pizza from Dom.ino’s on Sunday because we were so worn out from working in the basement we didn’t feel like cooking.  Anyway, I had 2 and half slices of pizza and the boys had pizza and wings and then we all crashed on the couch.  The LG always sits between us while we watch TV.  Baby girl started kicking and wiggling away in there.  I thought I’d take a chance and told the LG to give me his hand.  I lifted my shirt and gently placed his hand on my stomach.  I told him to be very still and concentrate.  Sure enough she kicked!  I asked him if he felt it and he said he did.  AWESOME!  Then she did it again.  Then BJ wanted a turn.  His hand is so much bigger and he knows what he’s expecting and he could feel her rolling around.  Then the LG wanted to try again.  He felt a very small kick and then couldn’t feel any more.  She was moving around a lot so she either liked the pizza or didn’t like the pizza.  Then the LG said to me, “it seems like she’s never going to get here.”  Awwwww…so sweet.  I assured him that she will be here before he knows it.

Worrying

I had my regular OB check up yesterday.  Now is the time she’ll start measuring me from the outside and I was very excited about that.  She showed me where my uterus was and how to feel  for it myself.  I thought that was very cool since I had been unable to detect it up until that point.  Baby girl’s heart beat was between 147 and 152 bpm, which was perfect.  When she measured me, however, I’m only measuring 21cm, which is basically 21 weeks.  I was 22 week and 5 days yesterday.  She said that at this stage it’s nothing to worry about as long as I’m within 2 week either way.  I scheduled my glucose test, my flu shot and my pertussis shot and was out the door.  Then the worry set in.  I did a little googling and decided that I wasn’t going to stress about it.  But of course that is easier said than done.  We had our anatomy scan less than 3 weeks ago and she measured exactly with her due date.  How is it possible that now I’m almost a full 2 weeks behind?  Then I started to worry about the amniotic fluid.  I know baby girl is fine, I feel her kicking and dancing and cartwheeling in there all the time…but what about the uterus?  Is it too small for her?  Will I go into pre-term labor and lose her?  Oh my gosh I’m tearing up just thinking about that.  Then the cashier in our cafeteria was amazed at how small I am for 5 months.  I almost started crying right there as she was giving me my change.  BJ has been trying to reassure me that everything is fine.  He even looked up pictures of 5 month pregnant women on his phone while at work to see how I compare with them.  He told me we have nothing to worry about right now.  We’ll see what happens at the next appointment before we start to worry about anything.  Yeah, easy for him to say.  So I will just have to pull out my mantra of “baby’s fine, baby’s fine, baby’s fine” to get me through the next 4 weeks.  As I’m typing my baby girl is doing flips and spins to let me know she’s ok.  It’s not her I’m worried about right now.  It’s the uterus in which she calls home.  Anyone else have this experience that can set my mind at ease, at least a little?

Sweet, Sweet Moment

BJ has been trying to feel baby girl kicking for over 2 weeks now.   I had my laptop on my lap the other day and she kicked really hard and I jumped up and moved over to his side of the couch and grabbed his hand to put it on my belly.  Well of course I freaked him out because he didn’t know what was happening until it was too late.  Wouldn’t you know she didn’t kick that hard again?  BJ said I scared her when I jumped up, which I probably did.  There have been quite a few times that she’s kicked but he just can’t feel it.  He has pretty tough hands and I think that has been part of the issue.  He barely feels it when the cat bites him while a bite that hard would almost draw blood from my hands.

Last night we were on the couch and I told him to come over to my side because she was kicking.  He laid his hand across my belly and we waited.  I told him to put some pressure with his fingertips because it’s easier to feel when you are also pushing from the outside.  She kicked and I said, “Did you feel that??” He said, “I felt something!”  And he looked at me and his eyes were all aglow.  Then she kicked again and he felt it again.  We were both laughing at this point.  She seemed to settle down after that so the show was over unfortunately.  Then he leaned over and kissed my belly and said “that’s a good girl, kicking so daddy can feel you.”  My heart melted.  I was so happy he was finally able to feel her move.  I know that as she grows it will get easier and easier (heck, we’ll SEE my belly move eventually) but it was so nice for him to get to feel these early kicks.  I should also mention that his tone of voice when talking to baby girl was the same tone he uses when he talks to our cats…so cute to hear him use that affectionate voice.

Of course, then he says “I hope we didn’t hurt her by pressing on her.”  What a way to make me worry.  Especially since she hasn’t given me any big kicks since then.  I’ve felt her rolling a little bit but she is definitely not as active as she has been lately.  He’s got me thinking we hurt her in some way.  I searched online and it appears that we did not do anything that anyone else hasn’t done and everything is ok with them so I’ll have to assume that she’s fine in there.  Baby’s fine, baby’s fine, baby’s fine.

No big plans for the weekend but I’m taking Monday off to spend with the husband as it’s his 40^th birthday.  We might go out to dinner with his sister Saturday night to celebrate.  We have the LG this weekend so we need to figure out something to do.  Our little town does not offer much.  I’m just looking forward to sleeping in and hanging out with my boys…while my little girl tags along oblivious to it all.  Hope you all have a great weekend!

A Little Clarification

Thank you all for the congrats and the well wishes on our PINK news.  We really are excited about this.  I just wanted to drop a quick line of clarification on my husband’s comment of “if it’s a girl, I’m sending it back.”  I don’t want my husband’s remark to brand him as an ass or to offend anyone.  It was completely in jest and our neighbors have known us for almost 3 years and they are familiar with his sense of humor and his “joking” tone, something that doesn’t convey in print, obviously.  I think most of you got it but it seems that he may have offended some and I definitely don’t want that to be the case so here’s the story behind that comment.

 

I didn’t type out the whole conversation in which that statement came from and maybe I should have.  We were talking to our neighbors (as they had just found out about the pregnancy) and they were asking all the usual questions about how I’m feeling, what the Little Guy thinks, what do we want, had we discussed names…all that stuff.  When we were talking about these things the subject of how girls and boys are different came up.  When we talked about how as girls grow up they get interested in boys and then boys will be coming around wanting to date our potential daughter.  BJ is a very protective man toward the important women in his life so this part of the conversation scared him a little.  The thought of having to keep boys “away” from his little girl was not something he was looking forward to.  So he said, “I can’t have that…I don’t want any boy near my daughter so why don’t we just tell the baby that if It’s a girl I’m sending it back?”  He meant no offense to anyone and we all got a pretty good laugh about it because we know how protective he’ll be of his daughter.

 

It didn’t take long for us to start calling her Baby Girl after our u/s last week.   It also did not take long for him to get over his “aw shucks” moment that he experienced when it was announced he’s having a girl.  Deep down we both knew it would be a girl.  Less than 48 hours after we found out he was telling me that she’s going to be a Daddy’s girl.  Well, duh.   I knew that right away but it was nice to have it come from him.  As we were walking through the baby store (after we bought her crib!!) we were oohing and ahhing over the girl clothes and he agreed that girls have great clothes and he even started picking things out that he’d like for her to wear.  We didn’t buy anything but it was fun nonetheless.

 

Above all, my husband wants a healthy child.  Don’t we all?  And before anyone starts in on what he will be like if she’s not healthy…it’s not about that.  His first born was diagnosed with a major heart defect 2 days after he was born.  No one knows how it was missed at the anatomy scan but it was.  This diagnosis stressed him and the LG’s mother out of their minds.  They never knew if he would stop breathing or if his heart would stop beating.  He had to have open heart surgery at 6 weeks and then again when he was 4.  Along with a few other more minor procedures along the way.  It’s been a scary ride.  What should have been the happiest time of their lives with their new baby boy went down a very dark and terrifying road right from the beginning.  He’s scared of that happening again.  So when I say that he just wants a healthy child what I’m saying is that he just wants to be able to enjoy her without the stress of a health problem.  Like I said, don’t we all?  He knows all too well what it’s like to have an unhealthy baby and he just wants to be spared that pain this time around.  I hope that for us both.  We will love and adore and spoil any child that we have.

Halfway, Enough Already, Anatomy Scan

Is it just me or is this pregnancy flying by?  I am already halfway (over halfway, really) to my due date.  Today marks 20w6d.  It’s amazing to me.  It seems like only last week I was coming out of my bathroom on my birthday holding a (very) positive pee stick and saying “good morning, daddy” to my husband.  I am relishing every single day of this pregnancy.  Even now, as the evening heartburn is getting worse, I’m just so happy to be carrying this child.  Every movement (and there are LOTS now!) and every kick (there have been some doozies) just makes me smile and makes my heart swell with love.  I never knew just how happy being pregnant would make me.  It’s one of those things that you build up in your mind and sometimes it just doesn’t live up to the hype.  Not this.  This has far surpassed all the hype I have built up over the years.  I know that there are complications that could still arise but for the time being everything is better than I ever imagined.  I could not have asked for a more picture perfect pregnancy so far.  Even the queasies, the migraines, the heartburn, the fatigue and the new tendonitis/carpal tunnel have not put a damper on this experience for me.  I know of so many women that have had terrible pregnancies with complication after complication and I feared that it would be like for me (like I said, I’m only halfway so anything can still happen).  I feared that since this was going to be my only pregnancy and getting here was such a fight that I would have to suffer through 9 months of hell.  So far (fingers crossed) it has been just the opposite.  I’m more than thankful and grateful for this opportunity and I hope the good fortune keeps up.

Now for the griping:

Ever since my husband made the funny comment of “if it’s a girl I’m going to send it back” to our neighbors, they have done nothing but pick on him about it.  Every time they see us it’s “oh, how’s the baby girl doing?”  And “when do you find out that it’s a girl?”  And “see what you have to look forward to when your baby girl is born”.  They are not nice about it.  Their tone and their facial expressions are very snide and sarcastic.  The way they say these things makes it seem like having a girl is the end of the world for my husband.   It’s like they can’t wait to see my husband disappointed with his child before it’s even born.  And the kicker is…they have 2 girls!  It’s not my fault that your 18 month old girl cries and fusses and won’t let you eat at a restaurant without screaming her head off.  It’s not my fault that you told my husband weeks ago that if you knew she would act that way you wouldn’t have had her.  Yes, my husband wants a boy.  HE’S a boy and he already has a boy so he knows what to do with a boy.  He’s not into pink and dresses and dolls.  However, my husband’s first concern is that we have a healthy child and that our dream comes true to parent a child together.  The day before our anatomy scan they were on their porch and we had been outside.  They called over to us with a “so what time tomorrow do you find out it’s a girl?”  We tell them and we walk over to talk to them.  The husband said something else to my husband and I about lost it.  BJ started talking to the wife and I looked dead at the husband and said, (in a not nice voice with a not nice look on my face) “you know, he’s still going to love it if it’s a girl.”  And he smiled strangely and said, “I know.”  And then I continued with “and he’s NOT going to be disappointed if it’s a girl.”  And he said, “he’s not?”  I said, “no” and I looked away.  I couldn’t look at him in the face anymore for fear of punching him in it.  Just then another neighbor was driving by and she stopped briefly to talk to me so I was able to remove myself from the volatile situation that was brewing.  I like these people and I think they are good people but for the love of God, stop trying to diminish my child’s life.  Later BJ told me that the husband told him that he made me mad.  BJ told him that I was tired of getting such a hard time about the possibility of it being a girl (and to set the record straight, it’s not about it being a girl it’s about THEM hounding us about how awful it would be to have a girl).  Then BJ told me that I needed to chill because they were just kidding around.  I said, “I will not chill about this.  Having a girl is not bad.  They are making me feel like you will be disappointed in your child and no mother EVER wants to feel like the father of her baby is upset because of the gender which is completely out of our control.”  He sort of understood where I was coming from when I explained it that way.  I probably am over reacting but in their kidding of my husband they were making me feel like crap.  I was almost in tears a couple of times because of things they said that were negative about girls.  Maybe it was done just to get a rise out of BJ but it really hurt MY feeling to hear it all.  Anyway, have any of you mamas out there ever encountered something like that?

Now for the fun stuff:

Our anatomy scan was Friday morning.  We drove up separately because we each had to work afterward.  I was nervous, of course.  Mainly for the health of our baby.  I had felt it move here and there so I knew it was alive but that’s all I knew at this point.  I hopped up on the table and the wand was on my stomach and in no time we heard the beating heart.  It was 149bpm which concerned me because a week ago it had been 157.  The tech said it was fine.  There on the screen was a HUGE (compared to 12 weeks) baby’s head.  I fell in love all over again.  Measurements were taken and everything looked good.  We got a really good picture of the feet side by side and some good profile pictures, too.  And then it was switched over to 4D and oh my gosh…the baby was beautiful.  The hands were by its face and it looked like it was posing for the picture.  The tech had a hard time getting the arm and hand measurements because the baby wouldn’t move its hands away from its face.  Then we saw the baby holding its own hand…I melted again.  Then came the gender reveal.  Now let me say this; I’ve always thought it was going to be a girl.  Anyone that has ventured a guess has guessed a girl.  I’ve told BJ numerous times that he better be prepared to hear that it’s a girl.  When the money shot came up on the screen I didn’t even need the tech to tell me because I saw the 3 white lines myself.  We are having a baby girl.  I couldn’t stop smiling.  The tech handed us the pictures and went to get the doctor.  I started crying as I looked at the pictures.  I said to BJ, “I hope I’m a better mom to my girl than my mom was to her girls.”  And he said, “Uh, you are not dancing on a pole, doing drugs and getting involved with men that treat you like crap.”  And I said (through happy tears), “I meant emotionally”.  And he said, “you are way better off emotionally than you mother.”  I couldn’t stop crying.  I am going to write a whole post on my thoughts about having a girl but for right now I just have to say how excited I am.  The doctor came in and took a look and in those few short minutes baby girl decided to show us that she wants to be a gymnast.  Up on the screen was a picture of her legs bent all the way forward until her toes were tickling her forehead!  We all busted out laughing.  The doctor was trying to coax her into putting her toes in her mouth.  It was hysterical.  My baby girl is quite the character already.  As we looked at the 4D picture again I told BJ that she has his mouth.  He doesn’t see it but he did say that the way she was posing means that she’s already prissy.  We laughed about that, too.  It was a great appointment that ended with me feeling very emotionally overwhelmed but extremely happy and grateful.  She’s healthy (as far as anyone can tell) and she’s measuring exactly with our due date and she’s funny and she’s the light of my life.  Now if we could only find a name for her.

Scary Situation

This actually happened a couple of weeks ago but I am just now getting around to writing about it.  Everything turned out fine in the end but it was a very stressful few hours.

I took a couple of days off work to spend with the Little Guy before he went back to school and because we have a cut off of Labor Day for taking any more time off due to the busy election cycle.  I took off a Thursday and a Friday.  We decided to go bowling Friday and the LG asked one of his friends to go with us.  Before we left, I had the LG scoop the cat litter and throw the bag in the trashcan out in the garage.

When he went out there the door was open for maybe 15 to 20 seconds and we both smelled a terrible odor.  It smelled like really rotten food.  I wondered what the heck we had in the trashcan that could smell so bad.  I decided to open the main garage door and pull my car out and have the LG get in my car from the outside to avoid either of us getting ill.  I was still very sensitive to odors at that time.  I held my breath and pushed the button and slammed the house door shut and out the front door we went.

After bowling we were on our way to take the friend home and I called BJ.  I told him that he had to get the trash out of the garage before I got home because it smelled like something died in there.  Neither of us could figure out what we had thrown away to cause such a stench.  I went inside the friend’s house to talk to the mom for a few minutes (ended up being like 25) and left my phone in the car.  When I got back in I was joking with the LG about how many missed calls I might have.  BJ had tried to call me 5 times!  I knew something was up so I called him back right away.  As it turns out, the trash is not what was stinking up the garage.  BJ had left a 4-wheeler battery on the charger in the garage and it over charged and started leaking!  The whole house smelled of sulfuric acid!  He opened all the windows and turned on all the ceiling fans.  The first thing he did was to open both garage doors and get that battery out of there.  He said that I should stay out a little longer so we hit the grocery store for a few things.  I was really worried about my cats, too.  He said they seemed fine other than being freaked out at him running all over the house and throwing windows open.  When I got home we quickly put the groceries away (I had my shirt over my nose and mouth) and headed out for dinner.  He posted a question about the safety of the house and how to get that horrible odor out of our house on FB.  Everyone told him that it was very dangerous to breathe the fumes and to call poison control.  Of course, the cats were still in the house.  I was panicked.  I knew I was safe and that the baby was safe because we weren’t home most of the day (thank goodness!) but the cats were there ALL DAY breathing that horrible stuff.

BJ talked to the poison control lady and she said that since the battery was out in the garage that it was most likely just the bad smell that was in the house and not the gasses themselves.  She said that opening everything up was the right thing to do except we should have turned off the AC.  The AC unit naturally recycles the air through the house so it would keep the scent around longer.  Great…it’s 90 something degrees outside and we have to go home and turn our AC off.  She put our fears to rest about the safety of being in the house so we headed home.  The house still smelled but not nearly as bad and we kept the windows open a while longer and turned the AC off.  It was hot, but at least we knew we were doing the right thing.  We went for a walk and then hung out at the neighbor’s for a little while.  And the cats were no worse for wear, thank goodness.   As it got closer to bedtime we turned the AC back on so that we could get some sleep and we shut the windows.  Being in the house, we were able to get used to the smell somewhat so that was good.  By the next morning the odor was pretty much out of the house.  We left the garage doors open all night and put an oscillating fan in there to blow out any remaining fumes.

We kept talking about how the LG and I were lucky to be out of the house before we were overcome with fumes and how it worked out that we hung out at the bowling alley longer than anticipated and that the friend’s mom is a talker because all of that allowed BJ to get home before us and start the clean-up process.  We definitely learned a valuable lesson here.  Do not charge batteries in your garage unless you plan on staying with them until they are charged.  It was a very hectic several hours to say the least but we all came out fine so that’s the best part.

Never Safe

I had a whole different post to put up today but changed my mind.

I have 2 pregnancy apps on my phone and both of them have message boards.  I’ve never posted anything but in the beginning of my pregnancy I was visiting those boards about twice a day.  I wanted to read about other people’s symptoms and was really just excited to be able to visit a due date board.  Every once in a while a woman would post about having a miscarriage.  It was tough to read but I did it anyway…just to keep myself grounded and not let myself get too cocky.  I felt horrible for these women and then hoped that it would not happen to me.   After a while I stopped going to the boards.  I felt more comfortable with what I was feeling (physically) and started reading What to Expect.  As much as the book freaks me out it helps me, too.  I visit the boards maybe once a week or so.

I clicked over there yesterday and read a heartbreaking post about a woman (on the January board so within 4 weeks or so of my due date) that went in for her regular check-up and her son did not have a heartbeat.  I was on the bus when reading this and had to fight the tears from coming.  It was a wake-up call for sure.  I know all that can go wrong; I read enough tragic internet stories not to be naïve.  However, reading that post was like a slap in the face.  We are never safe.  There’s no magic that happens at 13 weeks that prevents horrible losses.  A loss can happen any time and without warning.  There’s a blog I read in which a woman went her whole pregnancy with no issues (suffered IF for 10 years and then did IVF) and had to be induced as she was passed her due date.  She had a very tough labor and then upon delivery she had a placental rupture and her dear son did not survive but a few hours after birth.  It’s gut wrenching to read her writing but it’s also very grounding.  We are never safe.

I was bold enough to buy something for the baby this past weekend.  I was at the store and felt this overwhelming urge to do something for my baby…to acknowledge that a baby will be joining our household in January.  I walked the aisles of the store looking for something gender neutral and was feeling disappointed that everything was either pink or blue or just not appropriate.  BJ came across a Redskins bib set and said that I should buy it.  I looked at it and thought it was perfect.  I held it and touched it ever so lightly and decided to buy it.  As we were standing in line I asked BJ if he thought it was too early to buy something and he said that we’ll be buying things in 3 weeks after the anatomy scan anyway so why not start now?  He also said that if it made me too nervous to put it back.  I put the bibs up on the belt and as the cashier scanned them I fought back tears.  They were tears of happiness and trepidation and relief all mixed together.  That night, BJ asked me if I wanted to listen to the baby.  Well duh.  It took him way too long to find the heartbeat but he did at last.  I was about to panic when he finally was able to zero in on the baby.  Both of us were confused as to why it was so hard to find when we had gotten so good at it.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief and I think BJ did, too.  I thought for sure that I had jinxed us by buying the bibs.  I know that’s not how it works but sometimes it’s hard to shake those feelings.  The bibs are sitting on the arm of the loveseat and my heart fills with joy every time I look over at them.  I touch them lightly as I walk by, too.  BJ wanted to hear the heart again on Monday.  I think he was a little shaken by our Saturday night experience and just wanted to check on things.  He said, “I’m going to find him right away this time…he’s not going to hide from me again.”  And wouldn’t you know as soon as the Doppler was placed on my belly we heard the heartbeat.  We were both relieved to say the least.

I thought that I felt a few flutters Friday night and Saturday evening (before the HB detection fiasco) but I haven’t felt anything since then.  I really wish the baby would start kicking with some regularity so that I could stop worrying so much.  I’m 18 weeks today and I’ve read that now is the time when most first timers start feeling those kicks.  After Saturday, I’m a little weary of the Doppler, which is ironic because we rented for peace of mind, not extra anxiety.

I know I have a long way to go and that I’m nowhere near safe from tragedy.  I just have to remind myself that worrying won’t stop anything bad from happening.  Nor will it make something bad more bearable.  I just have to keep hoping and praying that I won’t be one of the tragic stories.  I have to keep praying and hoping that our story will continue to flourish in positive ways.  I need to keep enjoying this pregnancy like I have been because it’s going by so fast for me.  I love this little baby and even though he/she is not here yet, he/she is already a part of our family.  BJ talks to it a couple of times a night and rubs my belly and it’s the best feeling in the world.  Now if we could just coax a few kicks out of our little one that would be icing on the cake.

My Pregnancy 101

I’m going to take some time and document certain aspects of my pregnancy.  This is mainly for me so that I don’t forget things that I’d want to add to a real journal one day and also to help anyone that might be wondering if their pregnancy is normal or maybe some of the things they can be prepared to experience.

Fatigue – the books are not kidding when they say you will be tired.  And I’m not talking tired like you just want to take a nap every day.  I’m talking the kind of tired where you just want to sit and do nothing.  There really is no respite from this kind of fatigue.  There were days I could barely keep my eyes open at my desk while working.  I would take 1 to 2 hour naps on the weekend and still be ready for bed at 9:30.  Just sitting was tiring let alone walking anywhere.  I catch a bus to and from work and making the trek to the bus stop in the afternoon took all the energy I had left.  I napped on the bus before pregnancy but once the exhaustion set in I was sleeping on the bus.  A sleep so heavy that I would dream.  And then I would still be tired after getting home and could barely keep my eyes open watching TV after dinner.  I slept so hard at night that I wouldn’t move.  I’d wake up stiff and sore from lying in the same position all night.  It was unreal.  Thankfully, that part has started to slowly lift.  I still get tired and love my weekend naps, but I’m able to stay awake and socialize with my husband in the evenings now.

Queasies – I don’t think queasies is a real word but that’s what I’m using.  I never really had morning sickness.  My queasies came on right around lunch time and lasted until bedtime.  There were some nights I could only eat a few bites of my dinner.  Nothing tasted good, nothing smelled good and nothing looked good.  BJ would not let me just make something different to eat.  He insisted on trying to please my appetite.  That was not the best course of action because I didn’t want anything that he ever suggested for dinner.  Sometimes, I would take a few bites and really enjoy my food and then all of a sudden a couple of bites later I was spitting it out and pushing my plate away from me.  This was particularly true with white meat chicken and green vegetables.  I could force a few bites down but that was it.  We had grilled steaks one night and I only ate two bites.  I put the third bite in my mouth and couldn’t even chew it.  I had to spit it out immediately.  I’m almost over all of that stuff now, thank goodness.  I’m not “cured” but I was able to eat a full chicken breast last Thursday!  Yay!

Breasts – my breasts started to grow pretty early on.  They were very sore, too.  They are still pretty sore, actually.  I am disappointed that they have stopped growing because I was hoping for some new bras but I still fit in my old ones.  BJ would do the “boob check” every day to see how much they had grown.  He noticed, as did I, that they definitely got harder and fuller.  They aren’t as mushy as before.  I am rocking a pretty nice cleavage these days even if they aren’t as big as I was hoping for.  See, I’m a very small chested girl…34A and I’m probably up to a B cup right now.  I was hoping for some good solid C’s but I don’t think that’s going to be happening.  There have been a couple of times that I’ve noticed I have some dried white stuff on my nipples.  I read that this is normal and may increase as the pregnancy progresses.  It wasn’t much, just enough for me to notice and wonder what the heck it was.

Headaches – I’ve had some doozies.  I actually have one right now.  I found out the hard way that being out in the sun/heat brings on some pretty bad headaches for me.  Although, they have been increasing in frequency this last week and I haven’t been outside much.  A few of them have been migraine strength and have sucked the life right out of me.  The others are tolerable but still very bothersome.  Tylenol barely takes the edge off.  If I’m at home, which I usually am (except today), I put some ice in a baggy and put it on the back of my head.  It helps but doesn’t fix the problem.  I’ve read that hormone headaches are very common, unfortunately.  I hope I can get a handle on them soon and try to avoid any triggers that I know of.

Cravings – I haven’t had any strange cravings per se but I do tend to gravitate toward cold food.  I love cereal and snack pack pudding and cold pasta salad.  Things that are hot just aren’t as good right now.  I also can’t drink room temperature liquids.  Just typing that made me gag.  I drink a lot of water and if it starts to get warm I can’t drink it.  I have to add ice to make it really cold.  I bought a tumbler to keep on my desk to keep my water colder longer.  I also am not that into sodas anymore.  I used to love drinking a diet sierra mist when I got home from work.  Now, not so much.  I drink a little of it and then switch over to water and end up pouring most of the soda down the drain.  The same with my beloved diet coke fountain drink.  I love that soda the most.  Again, I can drink about half of it and then I’m ready to toss it in the trash.  I don’t know if it’s necessarily a pregnancy thing or more of an “I quit drinking it for so long it just doesn’t taste that good anymore” thing.  Either way, I shouldn’t be drinking these things so I guess it’s good that I’m not really indulging too much.  I have allowed caffeine back in my diet, just in very small amounts.  I do love me some tea when we go out to eat.  I’m careful not to drink the whole glass, though.

Weight – I gained about 5 pounds from cycle prep and have since gained another 6.  I’m up 11 pounds since the beginning of February.  Yikes.  I’m not eating a lot more and I’m also not eating a lot of junk but the pounds still seem to find their way to my hips and my butt.  I really didn’t think my hips could get any wider but alas I was proven wrong.  I’m already walking differently because of this change in my body structure.  I’m not waddling (yet) but I am noticing my center of gravity has changed significantly.  I’m on target with my weight right now so I’m not worried but as someone that has struggled with weight in the past, it’s scary to watch those numbers climb.

Sex – I have no desire for sex…of any kind.  Between being the most worn out and tired that I’ve ever been in my life and having nighttime queasies I just have no interest.  Not to mention the fact that I don’t feel sexy at all.  Aside from the larger breasts, the other parts that have gotten larger are not appealing to me so I’m not very quick to uncover them.  We’ve been active, although not as much as pre-pregnancy but it’s definitely something I do to keep the husband happy.  I do not have any desires or needs right now.  I’m hoping the books are right and that things will pick up in the 2^nd trimester because I do miss the enjoyment of being intimate with my husband.

Dreams – the dreams are crazy and pretty much non-stop all night long.  Sometimes I wake up and have to remind myself that it was just a dream.  I haven’t had too many nightmares, thank goodness.  The few bad dreams I’ve had were pretty bad, though.  All of the dreams are vivid and even odder than before I was pregnant.

Hair – the hair on my head has turned into a wonderful mane.  I used to have to wash my hair ever 2 to 3 days or else it looked greasy and nasty.  Now, I can go 5 or 6 days without washing my hair.  It’s so awesome!  Yes, I shower daily I just hate taking the time to dry my hair.  Those precious 8 minutes could be spent on the couch.  :-)  The hair on my legs and underarms is growing faster so I have to shave more but that is not a big deal.  My bikini line has been waxed 3 times since getting pregnant.  The first time was fine, just like usual.  The second time I thought I was being tortured in war.  I didn’t tell the lady (a new lady) that I was pregnant because the last session went fine.  OUCH!  Not only did it feel like she was ripping my skin off, when she was done I was red and sore for several days.  Always tell the lady that you are pregnant.  I went yesterday and told her (another different lady) and she used a different wax and was much more gentle.  I was still a little red but I’m always red the first day.  I’m back to normal today.

That’s about all for now.  I’m sure there will be more later but I think this is a pretty good start to help me remember things.  I know it’s not the most exciting post so if you read all the way through, I commend you!  See you all later!