Do What?

Wouldn't you know that my nurse called when we were in the movies?  She doesn't usually call me until later in the afternoon.  I had my phone on vibrate and was ready to run out of the theater as soon as it started buzzing.  The only buzz I got was my phone letting me know that I had a voicemail.  I listened to it at my seat.

She didn't sound happy but she did give me good news and some perplexing news.  She told me that all three embryos were dividing normally and looking good.  Yay!  She then proceeded to tell me that transfer will be on Thursday and she'll call me back with the details.  Huh?  What?  Did I just hear that right?  She must be mistaken...right?  There's no way they will wait when I only have 3...will they?

I called her as soon as we got to my truck and left her a message to call me back.  When she called me I asked her about my other 2 eggs that didn't make it even though they were mature.  They didn't fertilize properly, which I figured.  When I asked her about the day 5 transfer she said that she had to call the lab to make sure she was seeing that correctly, too.  After double checking, I am indeed scheduled for Thursday.  She said that everything looks good right now and they are growing just fine and right on schedule.  She will call me Wednesday to let me know what time to be at the clinic.

I asked her if the clinic would freeze just one embryo and she said that they absolutely would.  BJ and I discussed how many to transfer and we decided that if we have 2 we are transferring both.  He knows the risks and so do I.  He was thinking he wanted all 3 and I had to talk him out of that.  Too many risks if they all 3 take.  He agreed with a little coaxing so if we have 2 Thursday, we will transfer 2.

I'm really nervous about this, ladies.  My nurse is not supposed to call me today...unless something catastrophic happens.  I'm really scared about this day 5 thing.  I have some scenarios running through my mind right now.  What if we have nothing to transfer?  Would I be able to handle that better than a BFN?  I would always wonder if they would have been transferred on day 3 then maybe they would have made it.  What if we transfer and the 3rd embryo doesn't make it to freeze?  Does that mean that the other 2 that we have are bad, too?  This is uncharted territory for me and I'm not sure how to handle it.

I'm going to try and fill my time with other things today and tomorrow while I wait for my nurse to call.  I'm taking the Little Guy over to his Grandfather's so they can spend the day together.  I'm getting a pedicure, getting my oil changed and going to the grocery store.  I might also drive to the mall and do a little shopping as I'm in major need of some new clothes.  Tomorrow I'm scheduled for a wax in the morning and if I don't shop today, I'll shop tomorrow.  If we make it to transfer, my Friday will be spent sitting at my scrapping table as I get caught up on some scrapping.  That reminds me that I need to get some pictures printed, too.

All in all, I'm very grateful to have my 3 Amigos growing at the lab.  And I'm really excited about the prospect of a day 5 transfer.  I feel like there is more of a chance at success waiting until day 5.  I will not delude myself because I know of people that did day 5 transfers and did not end up pregnant.  However, given the choice of pure panic and hopefulness, I'm choosing hope this time.  At least that's the plan.  :-)