CD16 and Maybe a Chance This Month

Ok, so my OPK strips got here Friday. I was under the impression that I ovulated Thursday night into Friday morning. The reasoning behind this was the pinching/pain that felt like ovulation pain. I decided to try them out anyway. I got a negative and realized how simple they are to use and interpret. I recommend them to everyone since they are MUCH cheaper than the ones at the store. We did some BD'ing Friday night anyway...mostly for fun. It was quite interesting because at the rental house, the Little Guy's bedroom is right off the living room and he won't sleep with his door shut and you never know when he's going to pop his head out because he has to go to the bathroom or he can't sleep or "what was that noise?" etc. It was getting late and we were getting tired but we were messing with each other. It's kind of like sneaking around touching each other when your parents aren't looking. So we were very sneaky and went into the bathroom to get done what needed to get done. Even though I thought I ovulated Thursday into Friday, my temp didn't rise. I expected it to do so Saturday morning. That's the way my body works. My temp jumps up the morning after it should. It didn't rise. Now, I don't know if it didn't rise because I didn't take my temp at the right time...I'm not great at waking up on the weekend and temping and this time I think I took it earlier than usual because I woke up really early and was afraid I wasn't going to go back to sleep. Whew! I tested again and got another negative, however, it looked like it was almost positive. I planned on testing later but forgot to take the strips with me to my SIL's, and we were there until 10:00pm so that was a bust. I tested when we got home but the second line barely showed up. I figured I missed it or my pee wasn't concentrated enough because I had used the bathroom about an hour beforehand. Not sure.

My temp rose way up Sunday morning and has been high since. Good old FF says I ovulated Saturday (CD13, which is normal for me)...that would be perfect since we BD'd Friday night. One very good sign that I'm missing however is EWCM. I have had NONE, ZERO, ZILCH. Only a few creamy days. DRATS! So I guess we will see what happens now. I'm officially in the 2ww! WOW! I haven't been here (knowingly) for quite a while. Ahhh...the 2ww, how I have missed you. You have eluded me for a while but I have found you and now we will have a brief encounter and when you leave I hope there is a BFP in your wake.

I had a terrible episode Saturday at my SIL's house. She has 3 kids (2 boys aged 8 and 6 and a little girl just over 2). They tried for #3 for a year before they got their BFP. I so wished that we would have been pg at the same time or at least back to back. But that didn't happen. Anyway, we were all out in the backyard and the boys were riding 4-wheelers and swinging on the tree swing and the SIL and I were taking pictures (because we are scrappers after all) and everything was fine...until...the Little Guy was playing with my niece. He was chasing her and she was laughing and he was talking so sweetly to her that I was overcome with sadness. BJ rode by and asked me what was wrong and I could barely speak. I said "it kills me that I can't make him a big brother. he'd be so good at it. it sucks". BJ told me not to cry (not to be mean but to try and ease my guilt) and agreed that it does suck. He rode away and my SIL came over and asked me what was wrong because my eyes were red and she just knew something happened. I could barely get the words out again and she gave me a big hug and I almost really lost it at that point. I told her that it doesn't usually hurt this bad but just seeing the 2 of them together hit me hard. I hate IF. I hate what it takes away from those that suffer from it and those that are oblivious to it. The Little Guy knows we want a baby but has no idea how they are made (IVF or naturally) so he doesn't have a clue as to what we have been through. And he really doesn't know what he's missing by not having a little sibling. I'm hoping to give him one before he is 10 but it's not looking good at this point. Only time will tell.

I really need to be better at posting every day or at least every other day. I'm such a blabber mouth and I have so much to say that I end up writing novels. We finally have the laptop working at home so maybe I will be able to post in the evenings and on the weekends so I don't bore everyone to tears with these long posts. Plus, I wanted to post about the new house but now that I've made this so long it will have to wait until next time...