I am seriously having a hard time with these bcp. It’s not like they are high dose or anything but man, oh man. I have to try really hard not to completely lose my cool most of the day. I have found myself responding to e-mails out loud at work...and not in a nice way. Thankfully no one has heard me yet. I’m calling people very nasty names under my breath. If I’m holding something when I start to get agitated I have to tell myself not to throw it. I want to throw it at the wall or at the face of the person ticking me off.
It’s all these little things that are just getting to me. I have to stop myself from speaking at home sometimes because I know that what I want to say is completely out of line and not warranted. I’ve been clenching my teeth to keep from spewing venom at my husband and the Little Guy. Granted, they annoy me at times but lately almost everything they do makes me crazy.
I seem to always have a chip on my shoulder. My eyes have been rolling so much lately that I’m surprised they haven’t gotten stuck that way. When I’m at the store (any store) I want to push people out of my way that aren’t walking fast enough. And don’t even get me started on the people that seem to always be standing in front of the product I want to get off the shelf. Ugh.
I don’t like feeling this way. I told BJ that these pills are making me a rage filled monster. He didn’t take me very seriously. I told him that I feel like punching someone in the face at least 3 times a day. He didn’t seem alarmed. I can’t even explain this behavior to him well enough for him to understand. I think he’d be really hurt/angry if he knew how much I sometimes just wanted to tell him to stop talking because I couldn’t stand the sound of his voice anymore. *sigh* I don’t mean it but I can’t help but feel it sometimes.
I hope things get rolling soon and I can come off of these evil pills. I know I’ll be starting Lupron soon but in the past (knock on wood) I haven’t really had too many problems with that drug. I pray that is the case this time, too. I also hope that when (please, oh PLEASE) I get pregnant that my hormones level out and the anger goes away. I’ll take being weepy any day of the week over wanting to punch people in the face all the time.
7 comments:
I 100% understand. They made me feel awful too...which was freaky since I was on the little pills for 17 years until I quit in 2007. Then in 2009 I did one month of them and I thought I was going to off someone...or everyone. Crazy! Keep your eyes on the price girl...
I am so sorry. BCPs make me feel the same way! The only thing worse for me was Clom.id. I was a raging lunatic on that! Hoping that things get better soon.
Hang in there!! I know the feeling!!
BCPs are the worst!! I think I was always craziest on them (well that and clomid). Give me injectables any day. Hang in, those pills will be done soon.
Okay so I'm not the only one that experienced the rage associated with taking bcp. Really I did think I was the only one. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Oh and I did tell my husband several times while on bcp to just shut the F*ck up. It does happen.
BCPs made me feel crazy too! Lupron was super easy though, I hope you start to feel better <3
there isn't a lot of room for women to be angry in our social context. Most of us, as you say at the end of your post, would rather be weepy than angry. But at the end of the day, I know (intellectually, but can't often put it into practice :) that it's better to just ride the wave of feelings. Of course, you should avoid shoving people at Target, but otherwise, it's irritability. Just as valid as any other feeling.
Still, it's really draining to be irritable so I hope those bcps don't have to be swallowed for too much longer. I'm excited for your upcoming DE cycle.
hugs from your pal Augusta
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