Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Last Day of Work Until January 4!

Yay for a long break! I haven't had a long break at all this year. I've taken a day or two here and there off, but I haven't had any real TIME off. Until now, that is. Today is my last day of work until January 4 and I couldn't be happier. Plus, the office is like a ghost town so there is plenty of time to get caught up with blogs and personal business. :-)

The new house is coming along slowly. You would think that being snowed in over the weekend would have yielded a lot of results as far as unpacking and organizing. You'd be wrong. We woke up Saturday morning to about 6-8 inches of snow. We had breakfast and BJ drank 2 cups of coffee. It was time to head outside to start digging. We were out there for about 2 hours taking turns shoveling. We had to take turns because we were not smart enough when we bought the snow shovel 2 years ago to buy 2. It was so disappointing to see our foot prints nearly filled in after those 2 hours of digging. We needed a break. And who wants to unpack and organize after spending 2 hours shoveling snow? Not us. We went back out a few hours later and had even more snow to shovel. Another 2 hours out there and we were wondering when it was going to stop. We decided not to shovel in the dark and to clean off the deck so that we could grill up some pork chops. We cleaned and swept the deck off. BJ came in and got the meat ready and we decided to have some potatoes with the pork chops. By that time...all of 40 minutes maybe...there was almost another inch on the deck! Good grief, as Charlie Brown would say. Sunday morning before we even ate breakfast we were out there again, shoveling. Finally we had blacktop and it wasn't covered 10 minutes later. The snow stopped about 10:00 Saturday night and I think we got about 18-20 inches...depending on where you measure.

The best part about the snow storm was that this is the first time I've been able to sit on my couch and watch the snow fall out of a big was beautiful. And to have the fire going and the tree lights was definitely a nice way to spend the day. Aside from all the exhausting shoveling.

We met the people that will be living across the street from us. Not sure what to think of them yet. The woman asked me if we had kids and I told her that BJ has a son and she asked "how old?" I told her 8 and she said, "oh that's a good babies." Her husband then said, "yeah, she's fine with anything over 3 or so." WTF?? We had a long conversation with them out in the cold. They have not been having a good experience with their builder so it was a lot of bitching and complaining. I will have to give them another chance when things aren't so stressful for them.

My phone line at home has not been fixed yet. That means, no phone and no Internet. I had to go to the library Monday to use the computer. Very frustrating. I need to call the phone company again but I'm so tired of them telling me that it's on the schedule to be fixed. DO YOUR JOB!! Would they want to be at home with no phone service for this long? I don't think so. What if I have to call 911 for some kind of emergency? Yes, we have cell service at this house, but that is SO not the point. I need my Internet! I'm going to be home for over a you know how many blog entries I will miss??? AARGH!

Ok, enough griping. I wrapped the gifts for BJ's family last night and it wasn't that many but I was so tired of wrapping when I was done. I'm going to wrap the Little Guy's gifts tonight and BJ's as well. I still need to get a few stocking stuffers but other than that, I'm done. I'm hoping to feel more Christmassy once the presents are wrapped. It's been hard this year with moving and not really having the time to decorate the way I want. Plus, I keep thinking about how I should be 5 months pregnant right now. That is the really hard part. I'm missing my lost embryos. I know that sounds silly, but I can't help it. Bedroom #4 stares at me every time I walk passed it. It's completely empty except a few things in the closet. It should be the nursery. I think it will get easier to deal with once the Little Guy gets his bunkbeds and we move his bed into that room and make it a real guest room. I hope it gets easier.

In case I don't get Internet while I'm on break I want to wish all of my blogging buddies a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year! And may we ALL get our 2010 BFP's sooner rather than later! Hugs and kisses to you all!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

It's That Time Again

Welcome December ICLW'ers! You can get a quick run down of what has been happening with me over the last 9 or so years on the right side of my blog page. The quick run down is that I'm 33, married, a step-mom to a great 8-year old, been TTC since my first husband, have had 2 failed IUI's and a failed IVF with the new husband, BJ. (I don't use our real names for the sake of some anonymity.) We have been married since May of 2007 but I threw out my BCP in May of 2006. Right now, I'm sort of in a holding pattern...not doing anything medical, just temping and testing with OPK's and trying to time things correctly. I'm not doing such a good job of any of it lately.

I'm not temping because I missed the first few days of my cycle do to moving into a new house (yay!)

I tested with the OPK's but my body has thrown me another curve ball...a very early ovulation...CD9. We missed our window due to very busy schedules and just being tired from everything going know, moving, Christmas, the Little Guy's (BJ's son) basketball schedule...stuff like that.

My cycle hasn't been the same since my failed IVF in July. I used to be very regular and, not so much. I'm trying to figure things out but my body is making it very difficult on me. I also think I produce crap eggs but nothing has been proven about that.

You can read a little about my past here, here and here . I have found the online blogging community to be invaluable during these times. I have received so much support and encouragement from my blogging buddies. Not to mention many laughs and even some tears related to their struggles. There is always someone that knows how we are feeling...and strangely enough they know the exact comment that we need to read at that time.

Thank you so much for stopping by...leave a comment so I can check out your blog, too!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I'm not very P.C so I still say Merry Christmas instead of the generic Happy Holidays. However, for any of my non-Christmas celebrating readers...Happy Holidays! I guess I am still P.C. after all.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Singing the Blues

After yesterday's sighting of some (very hard to come by these days) EWCM, I tested twice with an opk. Both were negative. They were so negative in fact that the second line was barely visible. That led me to believe that I had at least another day. And since I figured that I had another day, I didn't do any seducing. Not to mention the fact that BJ decided to stop off at the dealership after work to look around and ended up trading his truck in so he didn't even get home until after 8:00, and then we made dinner, and then we had to eat dinner and then we had to shower (no bubble bath for me again)...we were so wiped out after all of that that there was no way either of us was in the mood for any hanky panky.

I tested again this morning and wouldn't you know that the stupid thing was positive? There won't be any hanky'ing around tonight either as we have the Little Guy with us and we have basketball clinic until just after 8:00. I guess I should hang this TTC thing up until January when hopefully things will settle back down into some sort of normal. Whatever that is.

I'm bummed out about this for a couple reasons. The first of which is that I'm getting ready to ovulate (probably today or tonight) and I KNOW that we won't be doing what we need to be doing. The second problem is that I will be ovulating EXTREMELY early again. Today is only CD8 for crying out loud. If it holds off until tomorrow that will still only be CD9. There is no way that the egg would be mature. What is going on with my body? Did my IVF screw it up that badly? Have I lowered my chances of conceiving even more (as if that's possible)? I really don't know what to do about this. And of course, I'm not temping this cycle so I don't have that t0 go on either. ACK! I want to cough up this hairball known as infertility already! But it just sits in my throat, choking me...letting me breath and hope just enough to get by without fully suffocating. I'm sorry, I'm just really frustrated right now. I used to have a great cycle and now I have a crap cycle that makes no sense and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.

And to top things off, our phone line is messed up. Found out about it after work when I tried to call home and it went straight to voicemail. My handsets all say "line in use". WTF? Called the phone company (for about the 8th time) so they could test the line and they say it's fine. Well, it was fine Tuesday but not so much on Wednesday. They say they don't know what the problem is. Thanks for nothing Ver.izon.

One good thing is that the satellite guy is at our house right now so at least we will be able to watch a little TV tonight. There is something to be thankful for on this day.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

How Do You Want Those Eggs?

Holy moly....My body is in hyper drive again. As I stated yesterday, I'm not temping this cycle (even though I found my thermometer in my purse and not a box as I had thought) I'm just going to be using the opk's. I had some watery CM yesterday...CD6. It continued into the night and this morning. I figured it was a good sign that I will probably ovulate on CD11 or 12. Low and behold when I went to the bathroom at work this morning (after my YUMMY Gingerbread Latte) there was a ton of EWCM! Goodness, why can't I figure my body out?

So I figure that either A) I will ovulate tomorrow or Friday since I don't get much of the EWCM anymore pre-ovulation, B) I will ovulate today...CD7, or C) I might actually be getting back to a regular cycle and have a few days of EWCM since it's so early in my cycle.

I'm really hoping for option C. I know that if I ovulate this early in my cycle, the egg would be nowhere near mature and that is not a good thing. So let's all start chanting "op-tion C!, op-tion C!", shall we? I'm going to POAS (of the opk kind) a little later to see if I can get a better idea of what is going on.

We had our first real dinner in the new house last night. BJ grilled up some steaks and we baked some potatoes and had a salad. It was an interesting seating arrangement since we have yet to buy the kitchen table we picked out months ago, but it worked out well. We bought a fold down table with 2 stools to "stage" our old house as having an eat-in kitchen so the Little Guy and I sat there while BJ sat at a TV tray with one of the chairs from the old kitchen table. It was quite a sight.

We decorated the tree, although we didn't use the amount of ornaments we usually do as we just wanted to get it up and done. I have decided that I HEART my fireplace. I've never had one and we turned it on last night for about 2 hours. The heat was wonderful! I'm always cold, especially my hands and feet so having the heat of the fireplace was dreamy. I didn't even need my slippers. The cat loves it too. Not sure if I have blogged about my cat, but yes I have one. I will write about her more another time. She's my baby and she loves her new home, too.
I'm going to try and seduce BJ tonight either by the fire or in a candle-lit bedroom after my very first bubble bath in my HUGE tub. If I am about to ovulate and if there is the teeniest, tiniest chance that it's a mature egg, I have to try and catch it. This is of course if I'm not too wiped out from trying to figure out the new washer, which will get used for the first time tonight as we are just about out of clean clothes.

Oh, and we have phone service, the satellite guy and the security guy are both coming tomorrow between 12:00 and 4:00...fingers crossed that we will have everything straight by tomorrow night! And thank you everyone for your support during my crazy antics of moving and are the best!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Lights, Camera....Christmas!

We have moved. I'm very far behind on posting and reading posts. I hate getting behind. The move went relatively smooth. I'm so thankful that BJ has friends and co-workers to help him with the heavy furniture. We have a hard time working together sometimes because the receiver in my brain doesn't always pick up his thoughts, so I'm not sure what he's thinking. I should probably get that fixed. :-)

We have a few dings and scuffs, but all in all, the furniture is in the house! So is all of our crap. We decided to put the tree in the living room so that we could see it, you know, the people that actually live in the house. I put it up last night and put lights on it. We will decorate it tonight with the Little Guy. I'm ready to decorate the whole house now. I won't, of course, because there is so much real work to do as far as unpacking and getting organized. And I promise to post pictures soon. I'm just very busy at work during which is supposed to be a quiet time of year. It's just so hard to believe that we have finally moved in.

I was a good pre-homeowner and called all the utilities and alarm company and scheduled everything to be done by Saturday. We have no TV, no phone, no security monitoring and no Internet. How did that happen? I have been asking myself the same thing since Saturday. The only things that went according to plan was getting the washer and dryer (which I have yet to have time to figure out) and getting the electric switched over. The satellite guy was a goober and refused to put the dish on the roof without something in writing saying that our warranty wouldn't be voided. We have no such paper. After 2 hours I sent him on his way. The phone company never came out to hook up our box. Without the phone box, we have no security system. I got a message on my cell that the Internet won't be turned on until 12/21. BJ decided to deal with the satellite problem and we are hoping to have it straight by Thursday when a different guy shows up to install it. The phone company was supposed to have someone come out by 1:00 today to hook up the phone. Please keep your fingers crossed that this all happens. The TV is the biggest thing. We missed all of our football on Sunday and now we are missing our shows for this week. We don't watch a lot of TV, but we enjoy it for a couple of hours at night and then we fall asleep with it on. Plus, as hard as we worked Thursday through Saturday...I think we deserved some "sit on our butts' time and veg". But we didn't get it because you can only watch so many episodes of Friends in a row on DVD. I love my Friends, but I needed a break.

BJ's company party was Saturday night....and let me tell you....I got lit up. I haven't been drunk in a long time. I've been a little tipsy, but haven't actually been drunk for quite a while. I drank the following in this order: 1 beer, 1 glass of iced tea, 1 jager (sp?) bomb, 1 special Redskins shot, more iced tea, 2 grape bombs and then more tea and I split another grape bomb with someone else. I ate some shrimp, crackers, cheese and 3 crab balls. I was GONE. I didn't get sick and I remember everything, but I was gone for sure. BJ's coworker was buying all these drinks (beer and wine was open bar but drinks were cash) for everyone. The way I put a stop to my drunken state....I took a napkin and drew a "skip" on know the game uno? THAT kind of skip. I knew my limits and I had hit them. So when the drinks started flowing, I just held up my skip card. I never ate the buffet dinner because BJ didn't want to eat at that point in the night so I missed out on some really good food. Plus, I was exhausted so that didn't help matters, either. I hadn't planned on having more than 1 beer because I was the DD. But when BJ's friend's wife said she'd take us home that was all I needed to hear. It was a good time, though. The friend and his wife came back to the house and we showed them around as I was fighting falling asleep. I was a mess....I don't remember BJ getting into bed as I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. Glad I'm not in the 2ww. I didn't even have a hang over (I never have) but BJ sure did. It was hard to get motivated to do anything with the rain and him feeling bad, but like I said above, we can only watch so many episodes of Friends.

I am not temping right now. My thermometer is in a box somewhere so I figure I'll just have to stick to opk's this cycle and hope for the best. I'm on CD 6 today so I will probably start testing Thursday since I was surprised last cycle with a very early ovulation. We were at a restaurant Sunday afternoon and our waitress looked about 4-5 months pregnant. I told BJ that I should be 5 months along by now if our IVF had worked. He just shook his head and stuck to his guns that the clinic is a scam. He has to shield himself that way, and try to stop me from blaming my body. I love him for that but at the same time, I just needed a hug.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Watch Out for That Bird!

The bird in my title does not refer to the cute little sparrow sitting on your window sill chirping a happy tune in the morning. Nor does it refer to the nasty pigeon or seagull that flies by and drops a nasty little surprise on your new black coat.

The bird in which I am referring to is the one on my right middle finger. As BJ and I were sitting here watching TV the other night I saw one of those dumb jewelry commercials with the mom rocking her new baby and her husband comes in and gives her a gift for their first Christmas as a "family". Then he asks the question, "do you think she'll remember this Christmas?".

My first reaction was to just raise my hand and flip them the bird. Who decided that a man and woman that are together without a child isn't a family? We have the same last name (not all of us, but most of us I think) and are legally bound together as husband and wife. Is that not a family? I don't know who "they" think they are, but they do not have the right to make us feel like a fake or poser family just because we don't have a child. And that guy doesn't even deserve a baby if he thinks she will remember a Christmas in which she was MAYBE 3 months old. Yes, I realize it's just a commercial and it's just supposed to be all sweet and emotional....but come on. I feel like I should start a coalition of Infertile Families that find these things offensive and start a movement to have all of those commercials removed from the airwaves. People claim "discrimination" all the time. Implying that my husband and myself are not a family is discrimination, isn't it? Ok, so that's probably a little overboard, but you get my point.

I think I will start an Infertile Family line of Christmas commercials, though. How about the ornament that states...."Another Christmas Without a Baby". And how excited a woman would be to open a box and see that her husband bought her another round of IVF or IUI treatments? THAT would be a commercial that could bring a tear to my eye. And what about a husband that hangs his specimen cup on the tree after he decorated it for the holidays? The possibilities are endless, really. We could have a gift exchange amongst ourselves...a year supply of OPKs, a shiny new BB thermometer...some left over HCG.

Who wants to draw the first name out of the hat?

I am off today and tomorrow. Today is pack and clean day. Everything that we don't need for dinner tonight and everything we don't need tomorrow morning, will be packed and placed by the back door. BJ is bringing home the box truck after work today and we are going to load as much as we can by ourselves. The Little Guy has basketball tonight so we will lose 2 hours there. We are really hoping to get at least the entire shed loaded and all the boxes I pack today. I have to go to the bank later today and get a check for settlement tomorrow. The check I'm getting would almost pay for 2 more IVF's...ugh. Tomorrow morning we will drive separately to the house for the walk through and then go to closing and then unload everything we packed up today into our new house. It doesn't seem real just yet. We will make another trip back here to get anything else we can carry ourselves. He has a bum shoulder right now and I'm just a weakling so all the heavy stuff will be tackled Saturday morning with his work buddies helping. I will be at the house Saturday waiting for the new washer and dryer and the satellite guy and unpacking. The Little Guy has basketball again on Saturday and we are trying to figure out how to get him there with all of this going on. BJ is supposed to ask his ex to take him but I don't know if he will. He doesn't like asking her for things. Then, to top off the day, we have BJ's company party Saturday night at 7:00. Sunday morning the tree will be going up and getting decorated. There will be more unpacking and organizing Sunday after the Little Guy goes back to his mom. By the time Monday morning comes along I'm going to be a walking zombie. The more I think about it, I need to get going and get packing.

And one more is CD1. Lovely.

Monday, December 7, 2009

What is That I See?

I think I have started spotting. Not sure really. I know that must sound ridiculous since I know my body so well. What I have spotted in the undies is not quite the color of regular spotting...and it's not quite at the "pace" spotting should be. So therefore, I'm not quite sure what it is other than to say it's a smidge darker than regular CM. Hmmm. My educated guess is that I am indeed spotting. But I'm trying to hold out hope. I can't base my theory on my temperature because I woke up at 3:30 this morning. I didn't temp because I had only been asleep for 4 hours and I usually temp around 5:45-6:00. When I did take it at 5:45 (after laying there trying desperately to sleep) it was 98.5. I don't believe it but I kept it anyway. We'll see what tomorrow morning brings.

I have spent my day on the phone with the phone company and the satellite company trying to get phone/internet and satellite at the new place. I was on the phone for an HOUR trying to get things straight. Then I called the electric company. They tried to charge me the security deposit of $150 because I haven't had an account with them in the last 2 years. Crimony! I gave the girl my social...wouldn't you think if the same first name but a different last name showed up she would ask me about that before assuming it WASN'T me? And if the names don't match, then don't you think she would have double checked the social number? Ugh! I'm so tired of utilities right now. I only have one more to go but it's going to wait until tomorrow because it's almost time to go home and I have no idea how long they will keep me on the phone. Unreal. I'm glad my boss was out today or else BJ would have to deal with all of this and he has NO patience for this kind of thing.

We went to the new house yesterday because the cleaners had been there and we wanted to see it all sparkly clean. It's absolutely beautiful. My breath was taken away when I stepped through the doorway. I don't have time to post pictures today (I know I keep putting it off) but I will do a post of just updated pictures very soon. I love how everything flows and the colors just blend together so nicely. It's hard to believe that we will be moving in on Friday. We decided to put the tree up in the office instead of the dining room so that anyone that drives by can see it. The only thing in the room will be the computer desk so we will still have lots of room in there. We are just hoping that the weather holds up. We can deal with the cold but are really hoping for no rain. We ordered our washer and dryer Sunday. Ouch...that hurt the credit card a bit. We went with Maytag Bravos and we really hope we made the right decision. Through all of this, that has been the toughest thing. We are so scared of spending money on an appliance like that and having it break or disappoint us in some other way. And wouldn't you know, after 3 months of research and FINALLY deciding on this pair, they can't order the washer. WHAT?? So we asked if we could have the floor model...they agreed and said they'd take 5% off. We were happy. It's not like they actually USE the appliance while it's on the sales floor, right?

We had snow was lovely to watch. Big, fat flakes falling down from the white was like a Christmas card. Now it's just cold...blah. I hate the cold. I think it's here to stay until Spring. I actually feel like we have kind of gotten off easy so far with the temperatures so I guess can't really complain. Who am I kidding? Of course I can complain. I hate the cold.

Keep your fingers crossed that the stupid period stays away. I really want to get an early Christmas miracle.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Decorating or Lack There Of

I am one of those people that go all out for Christmas decorating. I always have been. I love Christmas lights like I love a good chunk of creamy milk chocolate. When I was a kid, we used to load up in the car and go around on Christmas Eve to different neighborhoods looking at lights. It was a tradition and I loved it. Of course, my parents were doing it for 2 reasons...they knew we liked the lights but more importantly, they knew riding around in the car after dinner in the dark would tire us out and we'd probably want to go to bed a little early so that Santa would come. I've kept this tradition going for the most part in my adult life. Now that I have the Little Guy in my life it's something I can pass down to him. We don't have him every Christmas Eve so we do this on a random day that we decide we have the time to go around and waste the gas driving all over the county to find pretty lights. :-)

I'm a little bummed because I don't have any decorations up at my current house. Everything is packed away and waiting for us to drag it out at the new house next weekend. I decided not to put anything up at the rental and save it all for when we move. It makes sense, but it also makes for a drab house. I usually decorate Thanksgiving weekend. And this year, Sunday was a beautiful 65 degrees outside...perfect for putting up lights. So now I'm jealous of all the houses I pass by to and from work that have lovely lights up and I can even see a few Christmas trees through windows.

Doing the decorating over the long weekend allows me time to spread everything out and really decide what I want where. I will have 1 day to put the tree up, put lights on it, put ornaments on it and hastily throw some things around the living room and maybe hang a wreath on the door. I know it sounds petty, but decorating is really my thing and I really take it seriously because I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my lights. It's not going to be easy and whimsical this's going to be all business and I will be the drill Sgt. telling everyone where to put everything. Ok, so I won't be that bad. If I'm not too tired after moving everything and unpacking our essentials Saturday night, the tree may go up then. That way I have one less thing to do Sunday. Wish me luck on that.

I am off to the dentist soon and I'm so glad to be leaving work early. Especially since I have been consistently late getting home for the past 2 or 3 weeks it will be nice to be home a little early. I am going by the new house after my appointment and I hope to see it all clean and pretty. I have the camera with me so I'm all set.

I drove in this morning instead of taking the bus since I am leaving early. There was a spot of very slow traffic due to a broken down Metro bus and I really lost my temper and let the "f" bomb fly. Only to myself of course since I really couldn't yell at anyone. That is one of my clues that I'm not raging temper at things like a broken down Metro bus. My temp is still up so my headache was not from a drop in progesterone, which is still a good sign. However, my frustration (and that's putting it mildly) in traffic this morning is a pretty good indicator of things to come. You know, the period. Blech.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm So Bad....

Not only have I not updated in over a week, but I have hardly had the time to read my fellow bloggers tales. I have just over 60 entries to catch up on. CRAZY! I'm going to give you a quick run down of happenings in my life over the last week:

Thanksgiving - ended up being fine. I missed having the Little Guy around as it was his year to be with his mom and her family. I'm not very good at sharing so it was tough on me. But it all ended up ok as we had a lovely dinner and a nice time with BJ's family.

Black Friday - I woke up at 5:15 and thought to myself and said to BJ that I should just go out and get what I needed since I was awake. He kiboshed (sp?) that because he worries about me and all the crazies out there trying to catch a deal. The result? I didn't get what I wanted when I showed up at the store at 8:00. Bummer. I still managed to spend some money just not on what I had planned.

Weekend - BJ and the Little Guy had their first hunting outing together. I would love to post pictures of how cute they looked in their matching camo outfits, but in the interest of trying to remain a bit anonymous, I can't. They didn't see anything but heard a couple of shots around them. BJ had bought a new blind (a sort of tent for anyone unfamiliar) for them to sit in and I wish I had been there to get a few pictures but I had to settle for just seeing them before they left.

New House - The carpet is in but covered with plastic so no pictures. We had a preliminary walk through Tuesday with the contractor. He's great. I'm hoping he's not just saying all the right things while pulling the wool over our eyes but he seems to be on the up and up. They paved our driveway and are installing our mailbox today. Everything should be cleaned and a final coat of paint will finish things off by early next week! I am impressed with how they are sticking to their timeline. We are due to settle at 11:00am on 12/11. BJ will bring the box truck home from work Thursday (I'm taking off to pack and clean) and we will load it Thursday night. We will also load up my SUV and drive them both to settlement and as soon as we have the keys we are heading to the house to unpack. And let me tell you, he better carry me across the threshold when we first walk in after it is OFFICIALLY our house. I'm sure he will and I can't wait! I will post some pictures of our light fixtures and our driveway probably early next week.

TTC - I am 11dpo today. I have no signs of an implanted embryo. Unfortunately, I have been fighting a headache since late yesterday that leads me to believe the period will actually be starting early. She's not due until next Wednesday but I ovulated on day 10 and I can't trust my body to do anything right anymore. My temps have stayed up, which is good. I'm hoping this is just a regular headache and not a progesterone dropping induced situation. I actually started daydreaming about getting a BFP right when we move into our new house. I picture me wrapping up a positive hpt in some pretty Christmas paper and handing it to BJ one evening while we are alone as an early gift. Or asking him to unpack a box that has only the hpt in cool would that be? I am a good dreamer, aren't I? I know it's possible, just not probable. I so wish that could be the case. I get all giddy just thinking about it. Then I get mad at myself for even thinking such gibberish. It's a merry-go-round of emotions I tell you.

I just got a phone call from our receiving area that I had some flowers! This time last year, my parents sent me a beautiful arrangement of Christmas flowers inside a big red ornament as the vase. I figured that they were the culprits again...not so. My wonderful husband sent me a beautiful Christmas arrangement! I just took a few pictures of it but I don't have my USB to download and share them so it will have to wait until I post the house pictures. I can't stop smiling...and looking at them...and smelling them...and smiling...

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow so I'm leaving work a little early (yay!) and I'm not looking forward to it. The last time I was there I told them that they couldn't take any x-rays because I might be pregnant. It was during my IVF cycle and I was actually only in the stimming stage but I didn't want to radiate anything. I hope they don't remember that. I don't want to have to explain anything or start talking about my TTC efforts and all the questions that will come along...let's hope they don't remember and just take my x-rays and all will be fine.

I have a lot of reading to do so I wish that I had the Internet on my cell phone or a shiny new blackberry or something...I will try to get caught up with everyone over the weekend. If it's not too cold, BJ will be hunting Saturday and that will afford me some time to myself to just sit and read until I can't read anymore.